One + 1 = Thr3e

Ok, I'll be doing a couple of these... This is the first one. It's the first sentence from the first post of each month!

January: New Year's was massive in the land of Adam Mac...

February: OMG!! There is so many movies to see at the cinemas lately, that I can't keep up!!

March: So I'm a bitch!

April: On Sunday, it was so good...

May: Ok, If you've just jumped on and seen this post, then you may have noticed a slight change in C Grade Personality.

June: Well not that busy, but I'm sure you've gotten the idea...

July: In case you may or may not have noticed, AdamMac has kinda disappeared, what from MSN, blogger and other Internet commitments I have...

August: Ok, I didn't want to do it, I was trying to fight the urges and the temptations, but couldn't resist, I've done it...

September: Well my tongue has anyway!!

October: Yesterday I was having a day with the girls.

November: I hate doing grocery shopping.

December: I have no motivation...

Ok, I've started another one. Inspired by 'St Kilda Today', see sidebar, I've started something similar. Its going to basically be one photo that I take everyday, and I'll put it on my MySpace blog.

First photo is, well you can just go and see it yourself...

By the way, I'm not going to stop blogging here, I'm still going to be doing that...

And now it peels...

I look like my forehead is made out of marble. Hopefully it doesn't look like this when I go to Xchange, otherwise those nice lights will pick up the cracks in my face :P

Don't forget to slip slop slap....

For the last two days, I feel like I should be leading santa's sleigh....

My neck is constantly burning...

Oh, the pain!

I love my blog. I put quite a lot of effort into it. One thing I've noticed though is that I don't put a lot of emotion into my posts. They tend to be about something I've done, and then I've tried to make it funny. Very rarely have I actually done a post about my feelings, with what my thoughts are at the time. This is what I think a blog should have. I've always seen my blog as my little on-line venting room. Somewhere I can just log in to, and just type away. For some reason though, I don't think that I can do that.

The main reason why I think I don't do this is because I know people are reading it, and I don't want to tell people everything about me. Some people, who I didn't even know read it, come up and talk to me about posts that I've done. After they've gone, I then think to myself, lucky I didn't post that then, imagine what they would have thought.

I know I shouldn't think this, seeing that its my blog, and the point of it is to capture my feelings. I know I should let out my emotions somewhere, I know its not good to bottle them up inside. I don't want to discuss them with someone, seeing that I don't trust a lot of people*. I've been told too many times to go and see somebody, so that I could talk to them. I don't really think that that would help, seeing that if I can't tell my best friends, how am I going to tell a complete stranger, who is going to analyse everything I say?!?

As much as I love the privacy and the freedom, I think that living by myself is causing me to think too much. I tend to spend majority of my time just sitting and thinking, which can never be good for anyone. It makes me analyze everything I do, and it makes me break down everything I do into tiny pieces to see how they all affected what happened.

I've tried keeping a diary, to use as an outlet. That didn't work. Whenever I read over it, I would look at my handwriting and just feel disgusted in myself. My handwriting used to be great. Now, its just scribble. Constantly using computers, has made me lazy when I write. I still remember when I was at highschool, and our primary school teachers visited us for an orientation day for the next years students. My Grade Six teacher saw what I was writing, and she asked why I was writing like that. She said that my handwriting was a disgrace compared to what it used to be. I actually went back and found an old workbork from Grade Six, and she was right.

I tend to remember negative comments that people make about me. I hate receiving compliments. I don't know if its because I rarely give them, or because if I receive them I pick out the faults in them and have to disprove them. Its weird, but its one thing I can't do.

One thing I'm going to try and do is type some more deep and meaningful stuff here. Mainly with the stuff that is flying through my head at the moment. Expect it in the next couple of days. Lets see if this works...

*That wasn't meant to sound that bad, in general there are very few people that I completely trust. I don't open up to people. Its that simple. We may be best friends, but still there may be things that you don't know about me.

I have no motivation...

A post will be coming out in the next couple of days. At the moment, I really can't be bothered.

Just saw a thing on Channel Ten's news, and instantly thought I had to blog about it!

They were presenting results from a scientific thing ran in the U.S. comparing guys and girls brains. There were saying that chicks talk almost three times more than men everyday. Now I know that I talk for work, but I talk outside of work, and there a very rare times when I'm not talking. This would explain the huge phone bills, and the fact that I talk too fast. I think I might be talking to fast so I can fit more in, because I don't want to lose time for talking, I might think of something exciting to say.

They also said that a guy's brain uses double the power to think about sex. Now, I know that I'm a guy, but I don't think about it that much. Which is weird, but I just don't think about it as much as other guys do. They were saying that chicks use more of their brain to talk, so that's why they don't think much about sex.

That basically means, that I have a chick's brain and the reason why I don't think about sex is because I'm talking too much!

AdamMac
All talk, no action

I have my Christmas party on Friday night. It should be a ball! But it has a dress up theme, not compulsory, and I don't know what to do. I don't know whether or not to dress up as a someone or just turn up looking hot! The theme is 'Hollywood nights'.

At the moment, I'm thinking of just dressing up nice. Like shirt, dress pants etc. Pretending I've arrived on the red carpet. Its going to be the most easiest thing to do, and not going to involve a lot of effort. I could always just say that I'm going as AdamMac 'C Grade Personality, not that anyone would get that apart from the people who read this.

If I hired a costume and got really involved, I'd be a bit paranoid all night about wrecking the costume. Mainly because its free alcohol! And after last years, I think I need to know what my limits are. Last year it was a school theme. So I went in a blazer, white shirt, tie (complete with 'I Heart Boys' badge) and jeans. It was nice and simple. But pre-drinks then led to me having red hair! Yep, don't ask me how it happened, but when I woke up the next morning it was red!

Speaking of hair, I have no idea how to have my hair done for the night. Its gotten to the point where I hide it with my hat at the moment, just because there is nothing I can do with it. But I'm getting it cut on Friday, just before the party, so I need to make up my mind!! If I'm not feeling creative and can't think of what to do, I'll just do my regular cut-it-short-so-I-can-spike-it look.

So thats my newest dilemma. Well not really that major a dilemma, seeing that I have many others, but lets not talk about those!

AdamMac
Walking the Red Carpet like a PRO!

Over the last couple of years, I've received a lot of criticism in terms of the way I display my emotions. I shield them with layers and disguise my true feelings. Apparently, no one knows the real AdamMac. I have been told that I don't even know who the real me is. I think that's utter bullshit, I know perfectly well who I am. As for the rest of it, well I suppose its true. In some ways I can see that I'm like an onion, in terms of layers not how I make people cry*.

I've never been one to really display my emotions or tell people how I feel. I think I did it once before and was kinda let them with the whole experience, so I've just learnt not to do it. When I talk to some people though, they think that I'm opening up to them about certain things. Things that have happened in my life which I can easily tell people. The reason why I do this, is because I've de-sensitised that part of my life, so I don't see it as a big deal. People may think I've opened up heaps, but to me I haven't really said much. They then may think that they know heaps about me, but not really know much at all. I think being able to tell people these things, helps me delay having to open myself, a sort of defense mechanism.

Another thing people me is that there are a variety of different AdamMacs. Depending on the situation, I adapt to change the people around me, which apparently causes confusion for people trying to get to know me. This may be true for a couple of things, but I don't think its very true. These are the different types that I've recognised:

'MSN AdamMac'
I know I act differently on MSN. I think this happens with everyone though. We are able to hide ourselves behind our computer, and say things we probably wouldn't be able to say in real life. Apparently I'm also more witty on MSN?!? I don't really believe this, I think I'm even wittier in person.

'AdamMac@Work'
This one is similar to the MSN one. Mainly because I can act different when I'm talking to customers on the phone, because I have that protection of them not being able to see me. One thing that work has had an affect on me at work, is people's voices. I tend to visualise what people look like from the way they sound. I know it sounds weird, but I can judge a bit of a person by the way they sound.

'Softball AdamMac'
Probably one that a lot of people don't see. Mainly because the only people who see me play softball are the other softball players and family members. I think that when I play softball, I'm different to any of the other personalities. I get really involved, and the competitiveness comes out in me.

'Drunk AdamMac'
This is the most scariest one. If you wanna know any deep and meaningful stuff about me, you'll need to get me drunk first. I think I need to be so drunk, that I won't be able to remember saying it. I think one of the only ways that I will ever tell my deep dark secrets, is if I'm really drunk! And I'm talking so drunk that I would remember what I said the next morning!

So those are the sides I can think of. I'm sure that there is many more, and that I've only just scratched the surface, but its late and I wanna go to bed!

AdamMac
Layered.

*Although I do do that as well

Okay, I’m officially addicted to Poker. It’s rather sad really. When I get bored, I find myself playing online against random people all over the world. I’ve got four different programs on my computer, which with a separate account, to play on. I have also recently got myself a poker set, complete with dice and chips! Whenever people come over, the poker set gets whipped out and a quick game begins!

Now I’m not the greatest at it, but I have fun playing, so that’s all that matters. I love going All-In and winning people’s money, not the biggest fan of losing it though. I play with fake money, so mum don’t worry I’m not spending all my money on Texas Hold’em.

I don’t know what’s so addictive about it though. I think it helps fill my competitive needs. I love beating other people. I love testing peoples limits in how much they bet and then winning all their money from them. Its such a mind game, that’s it not only good to play, but fun to watch. I love watching the people play it on television. Because you get to see them crumble in front of you, and watch the other players triumphant.

But I don’t think I’m as good in person as I am online. I think I need my computer to be between me and the other players, so that they can’t see my face. Mainly because I’m not the best at bluffing, and its so much easier to bluff online! Anyway, I must be off, more poker to play.

AdamMac
Looking for a Pokerholics Anonymous.

Isn't it funny, that when you watch a television show, you can associate with the people in it. You can look at the show and think, that's exactly how I would react, or that's exactly like what I did. Have you ever watched a show, and had that feeling with all the main characters? I have.

When you watch something on television, you can judge it right away. You can think to yourself, that was really bad, why did he do that? But, in real life its not that easy. You can't judge your actions as soon as you do them. I think one of the main reasons why you can't do this in real life is because you don't get to see the full picture. You don't get to see how one small decision that you've made, has affected people's lives around you. Whereas in a television show, you can see it all.

The show that I was watching was Queer as Folk (US), typical I know! In the time of about two episodes, I was seeing some of the things I have done on screen, and it made me think about when I actually did them in real life. But I didn't stop there, I started placing other people in the show. I started taking characteristics I had seen in my friends, and then associated them with the characters in the show. It was turning into my own little version of Queer as Folk, with all my friends in it.

When I watched it and saw them doing the exact same thing I have done, it made me think about a lot of my actions over the last two years. It made me question whether or not my actions were correct. I know that in the last two years, I have done a couple of wrong things, and that I may have hurt some people, but its because of my own reasons. I'm slowly working on them, and hopefully, soon, I'll be able to figure out exactly why it happened.

I know that lately I've changed a fair bit. Even in the last two months. Basically, may main problem I had was when I would see someone, and they would get attached, in terms of really liking me, and wanting to take it further, I would push them away, and practically disappear! It explains my ever changing circle of friends. I know this sounds silly, but its just what I did. I don't know if this was because of personal commitment issues I have, or I just didn't like that person. I thought it was safe to say that I had changed a little bit recently, maybe I was a bit wrong. I stopped seeing someone a couple of weeks ago. I still wanted to remain friends, because I think he is a great guy. Usually, I wouldn't want this to happen, and would have just stopped talking to this person, but I still wanted to be friends with him.

Last night, on a normal conversation on MSN, he suggests we have 'a break'. He said it would be good for our friendship. I get a text message later that night saying he was only being stupid and didn't mean it. The thing is though, he would have had to have that thought running though his head for him to even mention it, meaning he had been thinking about it. It made me think, that maybe it wasn't just me pushing people away, but people also staying away from me.

I know it sounds stupid, but I started to think that maybe when people get close to me, they realise something about me that I haven't yet seen in myself, and it scares them away.

Anyway, I think I've gone too deep into one little issue and should just liven up! Enough of this deep and meaningful stuff, I don't usually do this!

In completely other news, 'A Forbidden Secret' is coming soon. Expect to see it early 2007!

AdamMac
Living vicariously through QAF

Someone posted this on a MySpace bulletin, thought I'd put it on here as well!

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

Some of the things mentioned above a quite sad. Mainly because they are all true. It's sad that I can name someone for nearly all of these things that have happened.

Will homophobia ever end? Lets hope so.

AdamMac
Out and Proud

I send out this text today:

'Describe me in 1 word, just 1! Send it to me and then send this text to 10 people and see how many strange things they think about u! Do reply its funny!'

THE RESPONSES:

1. Lesbian
2. Conceited... I'm guessing thats why you sent that message.
3. Adam
4. Funny
5. Work
6. Bitch
7. Weird Cool Stupid Awesome :P you get four words hehe
8. Amazing

Ok so number 5 and number 8 are from the same person, they just didn't understand the question :P

Wanna add to the list?? Comment...

AdamMac
1 word description is all he needs.

P.S. Yes I am aware not all 10 people replied!

I hate doing grocery shopping. Its one of those things that I truly loathe. I think its mainly because I'm too paranoid about what I'm buying and when people see what I have in my basket, they might judge me on it. I know it sounds very paranoid of me, but for some reason, every time I go shopping, I always feel like I'm being watched.

I think this paranoia stems from my inability to grocery shop. Its not like when I walk into a supermarket, I can't function, it's just that I don't really know what to buy. I know about the staples and stuff like that, i.e. Milk, Bread, Chocolate, but I don't know about the other stuff.

I don't cook much, and I think that may also be another one of my problems when it comes to grocery shopping. Instead of six thousand different fruits and veg in my basket, I have either apples or mandarins. Instead of different spices and powders, I have the Pasta and Sauces packets.

Another thing that annoys me when I go shopping, is when you finally finish and go to the checkout, you have to put everything on the conveyor belt. I get all confused, because I don't know if there is an order for everything to go on the belt, like certain foods being together etc. And they always seem to take forever to serve the person in front of me, so it feels like all my groceries are on the belt on display for an eternity. I think this is just my paranoia of not being able to buy the right things that makes it feel like an eternity, but it does seem quite long.

I really shouldn't say they aren't right things. I suppose what I buy isn't exactly the most healthy options, but its gets my by. Who cares if I've got a 5 pack of 2 minute noodles?

AdamMac
Looking into shopping online

It's very rare that I actually do something serious on here. It's on the rare occasion that something happens which provokes me to do a serious post about them, I think its only happened on here once before, Same Sex Marriage. Whenever a topic comes up in the news that in some way effects me quite a bit, I need to blog about it.

If you don't know what CTM means, then you either don't watch the news, or don't live in Melbourne. Basically it refers to an illegal DVD which was created in my home town. The DVD is called 'C*NT the movie'. It is basically a DVD whoch involves a bunch of teenage boys wreaking havoc to local property, and also committing sexual offences towards a young girl.

There were four students from my old school that were involved in the distrubution and the production of the movie, and their names have been passed onto the authorities. Out of over 1000 students, 4 of them were in some way involved with the DVD. Not even one percent of the student population were involved in it, yet the whole school has been affected by it.

Apparently kids from the school are being spat on, because they wear the school uniform. This is just down right crazy. The school is a good school. It's gone through a lot over the last couple of years, and its been able to get through them all. It had began to establish a good name for itself in the community, then these fuckwits create a DVD and bring its reputation down to the ground. I had someone at work ask me if I went to that school a couple of days ago, and they felt sorry for the current kids there at the moment, because it must be a good school if people like myself have come out of it.

Werribee Secondary College is a great school. It offers such a wide range of extra curricular activates and and has an excellent curriculum. I would honestly not be the type of person I am to today if I hadn't have gone to that school. I've learnt important life long lessons there, and I have such good memories of the place that I know I will cherish them for the rest of my life. The staff at the school do so much for their kids, and the students all respect that. Its unfair such a tragic event like this could tarnish such a good reputation that took so long to build.

The thing that annoys me the most about the movie is that the kids who made it feel no remorse at all. They think they've become somewhat heroes from it, and that just sickens me. They've changed their MySpace display names to contain 'CTM' to show people that they were involved in the DVD. It shouldn't be something that these kids should be proud of, yet something for them to be ashamed of. Not only have they shown that they are complete morons, but they've given Werribee and the high schools within it such bad names now.

I think all copies of the DVD's should be removed and destroyed, and the boys who had something to do with it severly punished.

If you wanna read more about it you can here.

Everyone has their own wishes, and by the way, mine isn't to become a punk rocker with flowers in my hair, I just really like that song! Some of my wishes haven't changed for a long while, and I don't think they will change for a while yet, but that doesn't stop me from making the same wish every birthday, every time I forward on a chain email, every time I see the first star each night. Do you do the same thing?? Has your birthday wish changed in the last couple of years??

I find it to be the same with my New Years resolutions. Every year I have at least two recurring things that I wanted resolved from the last few years. This either shows that I lack imagination and can never think of anything new, or I'm just really lazy and never complete my new year's resolutions. Just between me and you, I think its the latter one.

Is that the same reason why my wishes are the same every year?? Am I not putting enough effort into creating the right situation where they could come true? How much of a wish coming true is contributed to your own input?

My wishes are kinda typical. I think maybe everyone has the same type. I wish for lots of money, long-term relationship, happiness, etc. I kinda alternate between the three all the time. But those common wishes haven't changed in a long time.

Do you have wishes? What are they? World peace? Love? Money? Happiness? How long have you been wishing for the same thing, and when are we gonna realise that they may not come true?

I have a friend's 21st birthday party on Saturday night. Its being held at some bar in QV and I know its gonna be an awesome night! I'm really looking forward to it. The only thing that I'm worried about is the dress code. Now, I'm not the best with dress codes usually, the only ones I really know about are formal, whip out the suit, and casual, what I wear everyday! But the dress code for this party is smart casual.

Now my interpretation of smart casual is something that looks great, but not too over the top. So I know not to whip out the tuxedo, or the turn up in the moccasins. I think that it has to be somewhere between the two. By the way, I won't be turning up in a tuxedo and moccasins, even though that would be in between.

I asked some people at work what they thought I should wear, and most just said to wear a shirt and a good pair of jeans. Their justification of the whole thing was that the shirt was the smart bit and the jeans were the casual bit. I wanna know if that works vice versa as well though. What if I wore a t-shirt and dress pants? I've got the two, smart and casual, but apparently from the stupid looks I was getting from my colleagues, I figured that wasn't the best idea and just went back to my desk.

I'm going shopping tomorrow night, so I'll see if anything jumps out at me when I'm looking for stuff. I'll probably end up asking the sales staff what smart casual is, because I still have a vague idea, but don't wanna turn up too dressy, or under dressed!

AdamMac
Rummaging around in the closet.

The softball season has started again and it looks like the Knights are in for an interesting season.

Both the men and the women won their first game, with the women showing the competition that they are here to play. Ok, so the other team only had 7 players, and weren't that good, but they still showed them, good work girls!

The guys weren't as impressive with them only winning by a mere run, but I'm sure that the next game will hopefully be a bit different.

Now I've put another thing for you guys to look out for on the blog. On right hand side tool bar thingy, I've put the latest scores for the Western Knights. This will be updated later today, because I can't remember the score :P

I've also kept the dream diary up to date, and been analyzing some of the things in them, which is causing my head to go funny, so might stop that soon. The interpretation that is, not the writing my dreams down.

AdamMac
Back in the game

NB: Please be aware that AdamMac is really drunk, and any spelling or grammatical mistakes can be blamed on the alcohol!

I've just got home from celebrating clear test results with Carmella. She just got some stuff done and the results were in and she is fine, so what better way to celebrate than have a few beverages! Ok, so maybe not a few, but a lot :p

When I got there tonight, I was having a good time, I didn't know much people there, except for my mum, which is Carmella, who I'm her adopted son, if that makes sense! I was dancing away with her, having fun, until fat 1 and fat 2 arrived! Now for those who don't know who fat 1 and fat 2 are, ask me later when I'm sober and I'll tell you who they are!

Every time I see fat 1, I either want to cry or vomit! I don't know which, maybe vomit because I can't believe I wasted so much of my life on a fat piece of shit, remember I'm drunk so I can type these things :P But I seriously don't know what it is. Every time I see him, this anger builds up inside of me and I just wanna scream. Now I could scream and get away with it at Diva, hell people may think that I'm singing, and that could be funny, seeing that I don't sing :P

Now I know that he played a big part in my life, but fuck him! I can't stand him, he may have played that big part, but he sure knew how to fuck up my life! I'm not usually a shallow person, but I look at him and think, why? Why would I wanna get with a fat slob like him???

I think I've typed enough about him, hang on... I HATE HIM THE STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!!! OK, now I think I've typed enough :P

AdamMac
Drunk as a Skunk!

Over the last couple of days, I keep coming across this white powder. I had no idea what it was. It was starting to appear on my couch, my desk at work, my jeans, keys, wallet, etc. It was basically everywhere, and I had no idea what it was... Well that was until I opened my bag today.

I thought that I was turning into some kinda drug dealer at night, and when I woke up the next morning, I had forgotten about everything. That, or someone was breaking into my house, and doing drugs on my couch, and then as they were snorting this white powder, they coughed so it went everywhere. I know that last one is a bit extreme, in terms of details, and my imagination probably got the better of me, but I've been bored lately and my mind tends to wander.

It was when I opened up my bag today and noticed that the bottom of it was laced in this weird white powder, that I noticed what it was. I had put a tube of sherbet in my bag over the last couple of days, and it had some how burst, causing the sherbet to go everywhere. I can't believe that it took me that long to notice it. Seeing that I take my bag with me everywhere, hence the powder following me around.

As I was a bit excited about finally figuring out what it was, I had to tell people at work, and they kinda gave me weird looks, as if to say, 'Yes, Adam, I'm sure its only sherbet'. Now, surprisingly enough, this isn't the first time a place of work have accused me of drug using/dealing. I didn't/hadn't done drugs then, and can still safely say that I haven't done them since! I only have an addictive personality and hyper attitude, without having to add more to it by using some illegal substance.

After laughing at these accusations, I started to think about all the fun things I could do with a bag of white powder, yes the imagination has been working over time lately. I came up with a couple of things;

• Going into a supermarket and making sure that they check my bag as I leave, and throwing in the occasional head twitch here and there.
• Asking people if they can look after my bag for a minute, and then in public ask them to pull something out for me, like a wallet or something and wait for the reaction.
• Falling over in public and letting my bag open up on the floor, and then trying to cover it up and saying loudly, 'nothing to see here, nothing to see'.
• Going up to people at work, and whispering quietly if they want some of it.
• Walking around and continuously stick my finger in my bag and lick the white powder of my finger when people are looking.

As you can see, a bag full of white stuff could be lots of fun, especially if your imagination is getting a work out like mine is at the moment.

AdamMac
Never had so much fun with a bag full of white powder

Yesterday I was having a day with the girls. We started being all butch, watching the Grand Final and drinking beer, well I wasn't drinking because I had to drive, and they weren't really drinking beer... Pure Blonde is so not a beer :P Well, we started with good intentions, but then out come the Cleos, Cosmos and Vogues and we started talking about boys, clothes and this fucken hot pair of Dior boots*, and it all went girly from there. Our attempt at being boys kinda failed, with the finishing point being when we cracked out the Sex and the City DVDs.

There were four of us there, three of my best girlfriends and me! So with the four of us there, and watching the four girls on Sex and the City, we talked about which one of the four girls each of us were. Jess was Miranda, Jo was Charlotte and Meghan and myself were a mixture of Carrie and Samantha. Now apparently, I had to be part Samantha, seeing the number of people I have fooled around with. Now I personally don't think it is that many, but the other did, seeing that my number was a little bit bigger than all of theirs...

Now before you get the impression that I'm a big slut, which I'm not, I was actually quite surprised at my number, and mainly because I don't think that it was that many... I haven't had sex with all the people on my list, but have fooled around a bit. Being a gay man, I'm kinda proud of the fact that my number was quite low, compared to most people that I know. For example, I found out that one of my mates on Friday night, was on a goal to get with 10 guys in 10 nights, trying to out do his friend who had done 9!!! I can safely say that I'm nothing like that :P

Now I'm not going to tell you the number, nor am I going to tell you that if I worked it out as an average to since I've been out, I average more than 1 a month. And I'm definitely not going to tell you that my number is more than 20 times that of one of my friends.

In completely un-related news, I've started seeing someone. Well maybe not started, seeing that's its been over a month now, but just thought I should mention it. Its been a while since I've had a relationship, and I still feel a bit new to the whole thing, so that's kinda exciting. I still feel weird about the whole 'boyfriend' word thing. It'll take some getting used to, but I'm sure I will. And yes, this person is aware of my number :P

On the whole boyfriend knowing my number thing, it brought up how many they were on. Needless to say, my boyfriend is new to the whole gay world, his number is quite low, so I felt kinda weird telling him. I felt like when I told him, it made me look like some slut, which I'm completely not, and I thought that he might freak out and run away. But he knows I'm not one, as do all my friends, so it doesn't really bother me! Hell, I've only ever picked up at a club like twice! And that was only kissing them :P

Well I think I may have gone a bit too much into my personal life here, but meh! Whats your number? If you have a partner, do they know your number? Do you know their number?? Are you ashamed of it???

AdamMac
It's only a number

*Ok, so maybe I wouldn't wear them, not yet... I'm just being appreciative of some great designer footwear.

It's starting to get out of control. I have a constant need to play with it. No matter where I am, no matter what time it is, that need is always there. It's even starting to wreck havoc with my friendships, because people just can't look at me, because they're scared it that when they look at me, I might be playing with it again.

On Monday night, when I was under the influence of a little bit of alcohol, I was playing with it all the time. At the bar, in the car, no matter where I was, I was doing it. Even though everyone could see me, it still didn't stop me from doing it.

I'm also scared for my personal health. I'm scared that if I keep playing with it, I might hurt myself. I might make an even bigger hole in it than what there actually is . Ever since I've discovered it, I haven't been able to stop playing with it.

If anyone could give me any advice on how to stop playing with it, I'd love to hear it.

AdamMac
Can't stop playing with it

Ok, haven't posted in awhile, thats because this week has been a bit full on, what with Jo's surprise birthday party, and drunken adventures with Sue. So thats why no blog has come out lately. One will come out tonight though. I'm still doing the whol dream thing in the side bar, so you can always just come here everyday if you wanna see that.

Yes, I am aware that the side bar is down the bottom, trying to work out how to fix that :S If anyone knows, can you let me know please!!! It'll save me a bit of time!

Must be off to work!

AdamMac
Busy like a bee

Probably two of my least favourite people! Well some of them are quite nice, but the majority of them are just complete idiots, and make me want to cry sometimes. I think that they both have to go through some sort of egomaniac training before they can start.

The main reason why I hate taxi drivers is because they think they own the road! They think they can just create their own rules and take over. The worst time to ever hit the road is early in the morning. Mainly because they are like same sort of swarm, that take over. You see the yellow parasites all over the road, and its really annoying, if your coming home from going out, and keep getting cut in front of by them!

Another reason I'm not a fan of them is because some days they just hate me! I don't know why, but I can be standing on the side of St. Kilda, waiting for a taxi to come pick me up. Now its not like no taxis come past, shit loads of them do! In one night, I watched 8 taxis, yep that's right 8 taxis, drive straight past me. Some of them had the nerve to slow down, just to excite me a bit and then just keep going. Now I know I don't look like some hobo standing on the side of the road, and whenever I get a taxi, I always tip them, so why don't they just pick me up!!! I don't understand. Maybe there is some sort of taxi code that I have to learn to make them pull over, seeing that sitting my hand out doesn't seem to work.

Now its not only taxi drivers who ignore me as well. Tram drivers have developed a habit of it too. I'm usually quite fine with tram drivers, except over the last couple of weeks, they have began to annoy me. The main reason is because a couple of times, I've signalled them, and they signal back, and I'm like thank god, I've been waiting for ages, and the tram gets closer but doesn't slow down, and it just keeps going. It doesn't stop, it just keeps going and I'm left, usually in the cold, waiting for the next one. Now. I'm not sure if I'm just being stupid, but I thought the signal to the tram driver was for him to stop, not just a little hello greeting. If I put my arm out and nod at you, I would think that means your supposed to stop, not just nod back and keep going!!! When this happens, I usually get frustrated and in an act of protest I walk home!

Well I better be off soon, I have a tram to catch to work!

AdamMac
Anti-taxi

The last week has been a bit odd, I feel all cultured and what not. I've been to Chapel Off Chapel twice in the one week, and seen two different plays. I love seeing theatre stuff, but haven't seen anything in a while so seeing two things in the one week is kinda big for me :P

The first thing that I saw was the National Theatre Drama school's certificate 3 drama performance. It was their opening night so that was rather exciting. I went with Sue, I was her fill-in husband for the night, and as most outings with Sue I had an awesome time. The plays were great, and we got to talk with the director and the cast afterwards which was also exciting. It was my first time at Chapel Off Chapel so that in itself was also exciting.

The second thing I saw was The Last 5 Years. This show was awesome. I'm still in awe after going to it. It only starred two people, whose voices were magnificent, and the set was simple but effective. I'd never heard of it before, apparently it was big in the US a couple of years ago, and was told before I walked in what to expect. Basically the story is about a couple, hence the reason only two people on stage, and they tell the story of their 5 year relationship. Now you may think that that sounds absolutely boring and crap, but you're wrong. The reason why, well the girl (Cathy) starts at the end of the relationship, and the guy (Jamie) starts from the beginning. So they basically travel through the relationship, only crossing paths at the middle, and then going down their trail. It was great, but it played havoc on my emotions!! I was so confused, I was basically sitting there at the end, all happy because she was happy at the start of the relationship, but depressed because he was singing about the end of the relationship and was all sad. I didn't know which one to follow.

It was good to go and see something after so long. I think I was a bit scared to go, mainly because I've developed a rather bitchy attitude towards anything done on stage. I get very picky when I see something dodge, whether it be about the blocking, acting, sets, lighting, or music queues, and it tends to ruin the performance for me. I don't know why I get so bitchy, I think it may be because I was trained by a 'perfectionist' when I started in theatre, aka Reggie my theatre teacher! I think I've just developed a high standard in my head of all productions, and kinda like to think that little mistakes don't happen, or well shouldn't happen.

It can be a pain sometimes, being so picky. Mainly because if something dodgy happens, I tend to focus on that and not any of the good things and it wrecks the whole performance. For example, I recently saw a show the had really bad spot operators. They were so bad that they couldn't hit their targets when they had to light them, so they would end up having to move across the stage to find their target. It made me cringe every time they had to spot someone, because I would hate to think where they would start, and the sad thing is, is that I loved the show they were doing, but kinda feel bad about the show now after that.

I'm kinda glad I went though, apart from the fact that they were both great shows. I think it helped me realise that they are some really good stuff out there, and that I should go and see more stuff, look into more stuff happening in the area, and even possibly auditioning myself for something. I live in St Kilda, there should be shit loads of stuff going on :P

Well I must be off, theatre companies to find!

AdamMac
Thespian!

I found this video about one of the housemates from this years UK Big Brother! I'd seen a couple of episodes, and she was by far my favourite housemate! If you don't believe me, have a look at the below video, be aware that it does contain strong language and adult themes :P

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

If I was to get into Big Brother I think I would model myself on her, why?? everyone loves a true bitch! Ok well maybe I would be that girly and squeal that much, but I'd take her ability to say whatever she wants about people, and not care about the effects it may have!

AdamMac
Still thinking about becoming a housemate!

Last night I had a pretty weird dream. Well most nights I have pretty weird dreams, but this one was kinda freaky.

The Setting. A bar in Werribee, which consisted of a pool table, a tv, and a balcony. The time. Who knows, but it was at night!

Now that that's done, and you've got a bit of a sense of the dream, ie. location etc. let me tell you what happened. I rocked up with one of my friends, can't remember who it was, but that's not important, because when we got there all of the latest Big Brother cast members where there. Don't ask me why, but for some reason they were there. Out of the whole cast though, I can only remember two of them, because I became friends with them. Now, your probably sitting at home going, 'I bet he was friends with David!' but no I wasn't. The two people that I became friends with were Karen and Perry.

I have no idea why it was these two, but we became really good friends. To the point where Karen asked me to come back to her place for dvds. She even gave me a necklace, like a surfy kind of thing that was far too tight! And then at the end of the dream, it was me looking in the mirror and the necklace that she had given to me, made the skin peel around my neck! I know, freaky stuff!!

That was basically all I can remember from that dream. Most of the times I can't even remember the majority of my dreams. I remember one dream though, that I had a couple of years ago, well it was more of a recurring dream, because I had it a couple of times.

In this dream, I would be running down the main street of Werribee, being chased by some angry mob, you know with pitch forks and burning torches, led by one of the people who lived in my street. I would keep running, and then I would come to the railway crossing, which was always down, so I would have to jump the barrier, but when I jumped the barrier, I landed in some river! As soon as I was in the river, the angry mob was gone, and on the side of the river there was a big field, and for some reason there was always a softball carnival going on! Don't ask me why, but that's what happened. And around the field were tall fences, like a lion exhibit at the zoo...

I know I probably sound all crazy now, but thats the dream that I used to have. If any wants to analyze it go right ahead.

It's funny when I read that back just then, it made me think of some things that have happened in my past, and it kinda makes sense. Now I know that some people keep dream diaries, but my luck with diaries is always bad, so I'm planning to add something on the sidebar of the blog, where I'll put what my dream was every night. So what does this mean for you?? Well it means that even though there won't be a new post everyday, there will be a new 'dream entry' almost every day. What it means for me, well it means making me get up a little bit earlier each day to do a dream entry and try to maintain my blog a little bit more.

So enough with the ramblings, I'll work on that dream thing now, and it should be up in a couple of hours!

AdamMac
Letting people know what happens in his bed...

Just a quick update on the tongue...

Everything is going fine, only talking like 'Ca-na-da' boy a little bit now, enough to get by so yeah its all good. I think the main thing that annoys me the most is the fact that every time I put something in my mouth, I have to rinse it out with this pink stuff and then gargle, and then spit! Elegant, graceful stuff which I'm sure you all wanna know about, but its my blog and I'll talk about what I wanna talk about and you just read it! Hmmm, turned somewhat control freak there, soz!

Its made me realise though, just how much I put in my mouth. Oh my god, the following paragraph could take a turn for the worst, but please people, take your minds out of the gutter. Usually at work, I drink a couple of bottles of water, because I'm always sipping on a bottle between calls and such. But now, if I wanna do that, I have to be either constantly drinking water, so that I don't have to gargle, or gargle every half hour. Now this can be quite annoying, seeing that I was thinking of ways that this would work at work. I kinda have to put some of it in my mouth and then sit at my desk for like 20 seconds rinsing, and then go into the bathroom and spit... The only problem is that I then think people at work may think I have a slight problem, running to the toilet every half hour!!

I've only got a couple of days left on the pink stuff, that ends on Friday, and then I move onto Oral B!!! YAY!!!

So until then, I'll be equipped with my pink stuff, amazed at how many things go in my mouth!

AdamMac
Contemplating making a mouth diary, of all things going in :P

Just before you start to get the wrong idea, AdamMac has not turned Hetero, nor has he come down with Beaver Fever, had to throw in a Cho reference! The title of the post refers to my sleeping arragements on Saturday night, yes please keep in mind the above two comments!

I spent the weekend in Werribee, I went down on Saturday for the softball club's AGM, that's Annual General Meeting for those who don't know, and because I had training on Sunday and it was Father's Day, I figured it would be easier to crash there on Saturday night instead of driving back home. I'll talk about the AGM before I start on my encounter with Pussy!

The AGM was a let down, not a lot of people turned up, just the usual people who are there all the time, the same people who do everything for the club! A sort-of new committee was made, with some new additions and a bit of position swapping, and the coaches were elected for the team! Now for some exciting news, AdamMac is the assistant coach for the men's team. I'm also playing on the team so that should be interesting, another interesting thing is that my dad is the coach of the team and he is also playing, so basically both the coach and assistant coach are playing coaches!!

Another funny thing that happened at the AGM, well not funny for me, but funny for everyone else around me, was the fact that I was eating funny! Now I usually don't eat funny, its only because my tongue is the size of my foot at the moment and its hard to swallow and bite stuff! So I was sitting there trying out all different foods to see which ones I could easily eat. By the end of the night I was proud of the fact that I could put a whole biscuit in my mouth at once :)

So the sleeping arrangements at my parents house was in the loungeroom and this is where the pussy comes into play. Now, if anyone under the age of 15 is reading this, parental guidance is recommended for the following paragraph! Not really, just wanted to build up some suspense...

Basically while I was asleep, I had one cat on top of my blankets and the other one underneath them. Now these two cats aren't very fond of one another, so if either had found out that the other one was there, I'm sure I would have been in the middle of a cat fight! That what all the suspense was about, nothing exciting, sorry if I let anyone down!

Ummm then on sunday, training was boring, nothing really exciting... The only really exciting thing that happened on Sunday, well not exciting, but painful, was that my family made me eat roast for lunch. Now this would be fine, but if you remember from the top of the post, you may recall that my tongue was the size of a foot, and its hard to eat roast when you don't have the much room in your mouth and your trying to stuff things through the side of you mouth!

I can't believe it, two posts in the one day, aren't you all proud of me :)

AdamMac
Lover of pussy, well the animal kind :P

You may or may not have noticed but there are some slight changes to C Grade Personality. For starters, there is a new system for archiving, which is good because you can select a month and it tells you how many posts I've done that month, also a couple of little changes also made.

These changes were brought about by using the new blogger, which is awesome! Ok, sounding like a geek now, get over it :P It makes it easier to customise the layout of my blog, and lets me put other things on there now. Like from now on, I'll put each post into a catergory, so lets just say you were doing a project on all of AdamMac's theatre experience, which may be a high possiblity, and you could just click on the Theatre catergory and view all the blogs, I may go back and put every old post in a group, but it will take a lot of work :P

One of the main things I've noticed though, is the lack of postage that has been happening on this site! To tell you the honest truth, I was quite disappointed to see that in some months I had only done 2 posts!! Now from my point of view, I understand that I'm a busy person, but i realised how annoying it must be for readers to be checking a blog and never seeing posts there. So I must apologise to all you out there, and seeing that I've kinda got a bit of motivation towards blogging again, can't let the new comers post more than me :P, I think I'll be blogging a lot more frequent from now on!

On a slightly different note, I'm almost up to 100 friends on MySpace, so pretty excited!! If you haven't already added me, no it NOW!!!

Well, may look into putting the posts into catergories, or better yet, maybe a second post to happen today!!! I know, two in the one day, scary stuff!!!

AdamMac
Amused by little things!

Well my tongue has anyway!!

That's right, today AdamMac got a tongue piercing!! It was rather exciting and the lead up to it has made me feel kinda anti-climatic about the whole situation, because its been how long since I said I was gonna get it done!!!!

The actual piercing bit of it was fine. I went into this tiny little room, stuck my tongue out and then they stuck something through it. I didn't look, didn't want to see it :P The whole 'procedure' only lasted a couple of minutes, so that was also quite smooth!

Apparently I have a great tongue for piercing, or well that was what my piercer said, hehehe I can now say 'my piercer'. But I don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing!?!? Was he saying I have some sort of fat tongue or something?? I don't know, and to think about it could lower my self esteem more, so lets leave it at that :P

I hurts a little bit now, not a lot, but still enough for me to occasionally wince. I can talk, well I can talk if I talk slowly, so in a way I kinda have a speech problem, I feel like that kid in the Simpsons who comes from Ca-na-da!

Looking forward to it being all recovered and everything though, when that happens I'll be all excited!!!

A lot of people are asking me why I got it, and to tell you the truth, I have no idea... I just wanted something different, I have no piercings or tattoos, so thought it was finally time to get something done!!

Anyway, I must be off, must go rinse my mouth out with pink stuff!!!

AdamMac
Now comes complete with tongue piercing

Just thought I'd update everyone on some recent news with AdamMac. He has a new phone, yeppo, a brand spanking new Nokia 6280! Its awesome, it has everything a boy could ever want and then some... Ranging from 2 MegaPixel camera, to awesome slidey thingy, the Nokia 6280 is the complete package! Hey, maybe I should go into advertising... And another thing, be prepared for a post with a difference soon...

This week has also been my alcoholic week for the last couple of months. What I like to do, just to keep my body on its toes, is to have a couple of months of not a lot of drinking, and then just go to town for a full week. Well, in this case its only been three days, but still, that's more than 1, more than 2 even :P And I don't want you all out there thinking that I've got some sort of calendar marked with the days I have to drink, because I don't. The main reason why I drank this week is because I had an RnR, function for work, on Wednesday and I wanted to build up a kind of resistance to alcohol, seeing that at the function its free booze :P

So Monday night, I was down at the Prince, which consisted of $1.50 pots!! Now, this place was packed, but I didn't know anyone else there, well except for the guy that I went with, but I just felt out of place... Maybe if I went there with a massive group of people, it would be cool?? Suppose there is only one way to find out!!

Tuesday night was spent at a work mate's place, drinking some red that had been in my cupboard and needed to be drank. That was a fun night, which didn't finish till the wee hours of the morning, and I surprisingly didn't have to suffer the consequences on Wednesday, i.e. massive hangover!!!

Wednesday night, as I mentioned early, was the RnR. I'm just gonna say some key points that I remember from the night:

• Sumo suits, and me winning both times against Kelly
• Playing DDR and winning, against Kelly
• Playing the running tied to a wall to see how far you can go before bouncing back game
• Drinking disgusting white, so having to move onto beer
• Playing an inflatable guitar on stage to Kylie Minogue, waiting for the guitar solo
• Getting a tattoo, ok so not a real one, but a good temp one
• Drunken phone call to Sue asking how to Step, ball change and then trying to do it at the tram stop, followed by a couple of slides, and fan kicks.

That pretty much sums up the last week, well since Monday anyway...

As I said at the start, something exciting, hopefully, should be happening very soon on here, so you'll have stay tuned, hopefully by tonight or tomorrow morning!

AdamMac
Looking for an A.A. sign up sheet

Ok, so maybe its been a tad bit too long since my last post. Like over a week!! I feel like its been like a year since my last post! Like I think of things to post about, but then I just forget them when I have to post. And then when I remember them, I just can't get motivated to do a post about them, and try to do something funny!!

A couple of interesting things have happened to me, had the musical, had a Face2Face thing where I met customers, gotten drunk a couple of times, all fun times! But really nothing that has struck me as needing to do a post!

I'll try and think of some things to write about, but just can't be bothered at the moment!

Till then, I'll be on MySpace, damn you and you addictivenes!!!

A.Mac
Lazy

Ok, I didn't want to do it, I was trying to fight the urges and the temptations, but couldn't resist, I've done it... Now the owner of a MySpace! Yes I know, just like my iPod buy, its just another way of me conforming to the masses, but who really cares :P

I didn't really know what it was all about when I first signed up for it, I think the thing that made me do it was because I was so annoyed at getting those emails saying "So and So wants you to join to MySpace". So, I eventually gave in and did it.

At first I was afraid, I was petrified, ok so I promise I won't do that again, sorry couldn't resist :P, but after using it I'm kinda liking it. Found a couple of people that I haven't spoken to in like FOREVER! Like people who I went to school with, and seeing that I finished Year 12 three years ago, OMG! I so didn't want to write that, do you know who old I feel now :(

Another great thing on the site is the ability to search for people, and add them as a friend! I feel quite happy that Gretel Killeen and Pink are my friends, ok so maybe its not them, but I don't care, I still feel special!! I still want more friends though, so if you have one, add me!! That way it says we are friends, and like yeah :P

I suppose that if you are going to add me, you should know what the site is...

My Friday night was lots of fun, well I'm sure it was, if only I could remember any of it. Hang on, I do remember some of it, but not a lot...

I remember going to work, which was rather exciting, seeing that I have all this week off annual leave. So its like a mini holiday, except the furthest I'm actually going to get from home is Werribee, seeing that I'm gonna be there basically all week. I'm helping out at my old high school for their musical, do it every year and have a great time!

Remember having dinner, and then picking up some people I hadn't seen for a while for pre-drinks at my place. This is where it becomes a little bit fuzzy. I think the main reason why it gets fuzzy here is because this is when I started drinking. Now I usually don't drink much, I do admit that I have my moments where I become a bit of an alcho, but not very often. I remember Brendan playing EyeToy and making a fool of himself, and Ash speaking to people on MSN and pretending to be me, btw if you spoke to me on Friday night on MSN at about 9:30-10:30 it wasn't me... SORRY!

Now this is where I get a bit confused, seeing that I can't remember a lot after this... Now its not that I don't have a good memory, because I usually do, it feels like I've fallen into some black hole and can't remember anything from it! I know we where at Xchange, but no matter how hard I try, I can't remember getting there, can't remember getting in, nothing! I was later informed that we took a taxi, but I can't even remember leaving the house.

A couple of things flashback from the night. I remember some of the drag show, remember pole-dancing on the podium with a chick called Nardia, who she was I have no idea, but she was cool. I remember seeing the ATM with a temporary out of service sign on it, and then later when it was working I was rather excited. I remember leaving X when they closed and then went to Diva, but then went home. I remember the taxi ride home.

Now obviously there are some things that I can and can't remember, but the one thing that is annoying me the most is the things that I'm not sure if they happened, or if I just imagined them. I remember having conversations with people but not 100% sure if they are true are not. And if they were just simple things I would usually just ask the person, but in this case I'm a bit scared to, because it seems so far-fetched that I'm not sure if its true or not, and I might offend the person if they didn't say it! What do I do?

I'm not the type of person who likes to be out of control in a situation. So as you can imagine, Friday night, even though it was fun at the time, and I'm sure I had an awesome time, I feel bad because I have no idea what I did. Another thing is that I had a couple of friends there, that I didn't know were going to be there, so when they started talking to me on MSN the next day, I was like, how would you know, you weren't there?!? And this gets people offended because they apparenlty had full on conversations with me, which just confuses me!

This type of alcoholic induced memory loss has only happened to me once before, but it was okay, seeing that I was at home by myself, so no-one else could see me! I think that maybe I should learn from both of these experiences and maybe slow down my alcohol consumption, seeing that the first time I drank a bottle and a half of wine by myself in about an hour and a half, and on friday night it was half a bottle of straight vodka in about two hours! Maybe my new motto in life should be, everything in moderation :P

So, readers out there, if you were at Xchange on Friday night and saw me, I'm trying to fill in the blanks of what happened, so comment if you were there and tell me what I did, the good and the bad!

aDAMmAC
Sufferer of alcoholic induced memory loss

There seems to come a time, every couple of months where I don't blog for a while. Its not because I'm so sick that I can't make it to the computer, its because I have nothing to write about it!! Its a bad case of blogger's block!!

I jump on the computer and stare blankly at the create new post page... Its really weird, like I think of things to write during the day, but when it comes to crunch time, I blank out!! Its really bad!!

Anyway, enough boring typing about my inability to perform under pressure, OMG! that can so be taken the wrong way.... For the record, I don't usually crack under pressure, only when it comes to blogging...

I should leave this before I make it worse for myself!

Till a post pops in my head

A.Mac
Blank

I finally have a little puppy... I finally have someone I can talk to, someone who can listen to all of problems, someone who will always be there beside, my very own man's best friend!!! I have my very own little iDog!!!

He is absolutely gorgeous, he dances, has flashing lights on him and is just awesome... Seeing that I can't have real pets in my apartment, he is the best substitute. I could have gone out and bought like a stuffed animal or something, but it wouldn't be the same, a stuffed animal can't shake his head from side to side, or even play music for me! Whereas my little iDog can!

Not only is he a great groover, but he also has a great fashion sense. Ok, so maybe because he is a little robot he can't, but that won't stop me from dressing him up :P But for the record, I didn't go out and buy him a separate little outfit, it came with him... On these cold winter nights, I can sleep safely at night knowing that he won't go cold, because he is rugged out in his own winter outfit, beanies, booties, scarf, jacket and ear warmers. And whats best is that they are all purple!!

I was speaking to JoJo about him before and she brought up a very interesting topic of pet etiquette. I hadn't really thought about it. She basically mentioned that I was his dad, seeing that whenever someone has a pet it is considered their own little baby! So I'm now looking at him as a sort of test, to see whether or not I would make a good dad. So far he is really happy, he is flashing bright which means I'm giving it enough attention and "feeding" it enough!

Now with any son, I need a name.. Something that people won't be able to turn into cruel nicknames, something cute and something that reflects him.... So his name is... iBeau!

Another goal that I have is to turn him gay... I know this may seem wrong, but well I think its the way he has to be!! He's luckier than me already, only be 'alive' for a day now and he's already got an iBoyfriend... He's name is iDol and he lives in Albury, and I'm sure they are gonna have lots of iPuppies :P Nah, seriously, I think if I play enough camp music through him he will turn gay. Seeing that he has 7 different spots that can flash on his face, in all the colours of the rainbow, I think its more than a coincidence. And just to make sure that people know about him, he is now sporting a hot "I Love Boys" badge on his beanie...


I think he is the perfect substitute for a pet, except maybe for one thing... And that is that I can't hug him :( So maybe thats the only thing a stuffed toy has on him, but believe, he makes up for the things he lacks!!

Well me and iBeau must be off...

A.Mac & iBeau
New Best Friends

This photo was taken only about an hour ago. Anyway, that's what the finished product looks like, very pretty when hanging on stage in darkness. But as I'm sure your all away, any form of beauty has its costs.

We thought the star curtain was finished. We had finished with the star curtain, until we saw what it looked like on stage, we weren't happy with the fact that you could see lines and it didn't look like random stars. So to fix this problem, why not add more fairly lights! So we did! Today we added about 600 fairy lights onto it. That was 2 sets of 300 fairy lights!!! Before I go any further into todays efforts, I might just explain how the star curtain is made.

Basically you have a massive piece of fabric, then you sew sets of fairy lights into it, in random fashion and make sure there are all in place. Then, you place another piece of fabric, the same size on top of these fairy lights, and then push the fairy lights through the holes. Well not push them through, but burn a hole through the fabric with a soldering iron, and then hot glue them into place. Now this is done for every SINGLE fairy light. Before today, there was about 1200-1400 fairy lights already attached to the star curtain.

Anyway back to today's efforts. Now, this star curtain was really only a two person job, so Reggie, fabulous ex theatre teacher, and I were the ones on the mission of completing the curtain, by adding an extra 600 fairy lights. In total, it took us about 7 hours to complete the job. So that meant that I was on my hands and knees, with my arse in the air for 7 HOURS! Thats the longest time I've ever been in that position and hopefully will remain to be the longest time I will be in that position. By the end of it, I was in quite a bit of pain, and it was a bit hard to be able to stand up again.

At least I've mastered the art of handling hot tools, now thats a selling point for myself if I hadn't heard one before :P I was in charge of the soldering iron and of the hot glue gun. So we would solder iron a set of lights and then glue them down. Now with hot tools, comes the lovely experience of burns!!! But to make things more fun, we decided to play a game with it and turn it into a competition. We were basically counting the number of times, we burnt ourselves, or were burnt by one another. Well, I couldn't be burnt by Reg, seeing that she was the one with the hands under the fabric, and I was the one poking the holes with the soldering iron! Needless to say, Reg won, or would you call it winning???, with 5 burns to 4. I liked my one of placing the hand into hot glue, after just doing it, that will be a memorable experience.

I don't think that it would have taken so long if we weren't working with such temperamental equipment. For starters, the soldering iron was being more of a bitch than what I am.... The star curtain, because it is so big, has 4 panels in it, and one of the panels of fabric is so strong that its hard to put holes in it, and for the reason the iron stopped whenever we got like midway through it. So we had to turn to other alternatives, for example, using a screw to poke holes with. That was extremely fun! The fairy lights were also being extremely painful. Mainly because if one of the bulbs blow, than the whole bank that they are on go out, so sometimes you may have strands of like 15 lights all go out, and you have to test each one to find out which one is the dud one. You can see from the picture on the left how big this curtain is, thats reggie doing some sewing, and you can just imagine how angry you would get when a bunch of lights don't work!
Anyway, I tired, I need my beauty sleep, I'm sure a lot of other funny things happened, but I can't remember them... I really need to sleep because I sense a cold coming on and I don't want to get sick!!

A.Mac
Good with Hot Tools

Introducing the latest C Grade Personality....

... I'm going to disappear!!

Well not completely disappear, but for the next couple of days, I won't be blogging, and I won't be on MSN... This is not by choice, but by the hands of my DSL connection which HATES me!!! But I have been assured that the connection should be fixed by late Wednesday evening, fingers are so crossed right now!!! :P

Anyway, in the mean time, I so don't know what I'm going to do in the wee hours of the morning, might have to take up Big Brother again, or maybe start to fix up "Who wants to be a C Grade Personality?", because it basically flopped hardcore... Anyway, some hardcore followup needs to happen with that... Mainly the winner, "Princess October", given her due spotlight here :P

Anyway, while I'm gone, don't miss me, but wait with anticipation, for what magical transformations will follow when I come back on-line...

Until then, just say the magic word... UMMM... "PEANUTS!!!"

Cheers,

Mr Mac
Future Magician

In case you may or may not have noticed, AdamMac has kinda disappeared, what from MSN, blogger and other internet commitments I have... Well that is because his internet is being a bitch. Basically its all connected but something is fucking up, and it is pissing me off!!! I have to call DSL support and get some help, because its driving me crazy not having net access....

Anyway, that hasn't been the reason why I havent blogged in a while. The main reason is because I feel I'm suffering something that can only be described as "Blogger's Block". Which I know sounds really sad, but its true. Like my last post was well and truly a while ago. I think the only reason why I'm blogging is because I thought that work was supposed to start at 8am!! Boy!! Was I wrong!! Thats why I'm blogging, nothing better to do...

Over the last couple of weeks, I've gotten a few more addictions, well not addictions, because I haven't been needing to do them all the time, but have developed some new loves, one of which being Big Brother UK!! I've watched bits of pieces and from what I've seen, its awesome. They have more twists and more interesting housemates, and a couple of the formalities, like nominations and evictions are a little bit different, so thats all good. All in all, its really good...

I was thinking of doing something similiar to what Skanky Jo did, sorry you'll always be skanky to me :P, where she posted her goals for the future, and the things that she wanted to do, but when I thought about it, I don't really know what I wanna do, so that isn't going to be fun. One thing I know that I want to do, is to go overseas.

For some reasons, the majority of my friends are going overseas at the moment, or intend to by the end of the year. It makes me so jealous, seeing that the only place I have been overseas is NZ and that was when I was 12. I wanna get away from it all, I need a holiday, but one thing is holding me back.. MONEY!!! I can't afford a h0liday. I know this is my own fault, because basically I live by myself in St Kilda, so majority of my pay goes to rent, but I'm at the point where I don't care where I go, it doesn't have to be overseas, anywhere in Australia would be fine!! The last time I went interstate was ages ago, like we are talking years, and not just 2 or 3, but like 5 or 6!!!! Even if I did have the money, I think I still probably wouldn't go, because I don't know who I would go with.

Its my birthday soon... I'm turing 21! I still can't believe it. I don't feel like I should be turning 21, it just seems wrong. I can't tell people that I'm 21, because I don't feel like. I still feel like I'm young for some reason. I don't know what it is but for some reason, I don't feel in my 20's. I still feel like I've only just turned 18, not 3 years older than that. I was looking at some photos of my times at school, thanks SkankyJo, and it kinda hit me a little bit that I was older, but not a lot. I look different, mainly older and a bit skinner, but apart from that, thats the only real difference. I know it may sound weird, but how do I turn 21?? Is there something that I must do beforehand. Like I know that I turn 21 on the 10th of July, but how do I feel like a 21 year old???? I feel like I've missed some rite of passage somewhere and am stuck being young.

This year is my third year out of high school, and to think that if I had stayed at uni, I would be completing my Bachelor of Arts degree. Sometimes I see dropping uni as a big mistake, but other times I feel like it was the best thing I have done. I've looked back at some choices I've made in my life and trying to see how it has affected me. Obviously, if I hadn't dropped out of uni, I would still probably be at home, and would be spending more time with my family, my little sister wouldn't mistaken me for Captain Feathersword and I would more than likely still be at my old job. Would I have liked that path more than the one I'm currently on at the moment?? Or is this the path that I should be taking?? Theres no way for me to go back, I'm aware of this, the only thing I can keep doing is walking down the path that I've chosen and what for my desk fork in the road. But how long will that take?? And what will it be??

I know I've talked about being single in previous posts, or maybe even hinted at it a little bit, but I figured seeing that I'm going into details about my life at the moment, that I would go into it here. Yes I'm single! I've been single for a while now. Maybe too long, but I know for that I only have myself to blame. I know that they are a lot of people out there, and that all I have to do is go out there and I will find someone, but something is holding me back for some reason. I think the main reason is that I'm not confident in myself enough to be willing to find someone, to be willing to open up to new people. Thats why I tend to not go out there and find new people, but to go out there and stay with my friends, which is another totally different point all together. Another thing is that I can't find time to meet people... I always tend to be too busy, or there is something going on and it just doesn't seem to happen. A lot of people say that if you worry about finding someone you never will, but if you don't you will find someone! I don't know how this works, because its hard to get the notion out of your head that you don't want to find someone.

I was talking about friends earlier and how they are a huge part in my life. I look at my current friendship circle, and realise how important the people in it are, which makes me angry! Now that may seem like a funny thing to say, but my friends have stuck by me through a lot and I have been quite bad to some of them. I feel angry, because people have been so nice to me, yet I have been horrible in return. I know that I went through a stage about a year ago, where I may have hurt people, or removed myself from some people. I do apologise to those people and are thankful that you are still my friends. I know that I've been a bitch to everyone, I don't know why I have done this, but for some reason it tends to happen, and I'm glad that my friends have stuck by me and not left me, without you guys I would be lost. I've made some horrible mistakes in terms of choosing whom my friends are, and hopefully I've learnt from those experiences.

Well, I gone on so much in this post, and can't believe I've written as much as I have!

Hope you enjoyed the little adventure through the thinkings of AdamMac :P

Cheers,

AdamMac
Open for Inspection.

Well, songs can be really reflective of who we are... Or they can just be fun to listen to...

At the moment I'm addicted to Wicked. Its basically about the Witches in Wizard of Oz, really awesome!!!

So here are some random lyrics :P

• Good news! She's dead! The Witch of the West is dead! The wickedest witch there ever was The enemy of all of us here in Oz Is Dead! And Goodness knows The Wicked's lives are lonely Goodness knows The Wicked die alone It just shows when you're Wicked You're left only On your own
• When I meet the Wizard Once I prove my worth When I meet the Wizard What I've waited for since...since birth! And with all his Wizard wisdom By my looks, he won't be blinded Do you think the Wizard is... dumb? Or like Munchkins, so small-minded? No! He'll say to me: "I see who you truly are A girl on whom I can rely!" And that's how we'll begin The Wizard and I... And I'll stand there with the Wizard Feeling things I've never felt And though I'd never show it I'll be so happy, I could melt And so it will be For the rest of my life And I'll want nothing else 'til I die Held in such high esteem When people see me, they will scream For half of Oz's fav'rite team: The Wizard and I!
• lets just say I loathe it all. Every little trait however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl, with simple utter loathing theres a strange exilhiration in such total detestation. It's so pure so strong though i do admit it came on fast still i do believe that it can last and i will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long
• WonderfulThey called me "Wonderful"So I said "Wonderful" - if you insistI will be "Wonderful"And they said "Wonderful"Believe me, it's hard to resist'Cause it feels wonderfulThey think I'm wonderfulHey, look who's wonderful -This corn-fed hickWho said: "It might be keenTo build a town of green
• Ev'ry day, more wicked!Ev'ry day, the terror grows!All of Oz is ever on alert!That's the way with Wicked - Spreading fear where e'er she goesSeeking out new victims she can hurt!
• whenever i see someone less fortunate than i, and let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than i? my tender heart tends to start to bleed. and when someone needs a makeover, i simply have to take over! i know i know exactly what they need! and even in your case, though it's the toughest case i've yet to face, don't worry, i'm determined to succeed! follow my lead, and yes indeed, you will be... POPULAR! you're gonna be popular! i'll teach you the propper ploys, when you talk to boys, little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh! i'll show you what shoes to wear! how to fix your hair! everthing that really counts to be... POPULAR! i'll help you be popular! you'll hang with the right cohorts, you'll be good at sports, know the slang you've got to know. so let's start, 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go! don't be offended by my frank analysis, think of it as personality dialysis, now that i've chosen to become a pal, a sister and advisor, there's nobody wiser! not when it comes to... POPULAR! i know about popular. and with an assist from me, to be who you'll be, instead of dreary who you were...uh, are. there's nothing that can stop you, from becoming popular... lar... la la, la la! we're gonna make you pop-u-lar! when i see depressing creatures, with unprepossessing features, i remind them on their own behalf to - think - of celebrated heads of state, or specially great communicators! did they have brains or knowledge? don't make me laugh! they were POPULAR! please! it's all about popular. it's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed, so it's very shrewd to be, very very popular like ME!
• No good deed goes unpunished no act of charity goes unresented no good deed goes unpunished that's my new creed my road of good intentions lead where such roads always lead no good deed goes unpunished, No good deed goes unpunished all helpful urges should be circumvented no good deed goes unpunished sure I ment well well look at what well ment did all right enough so be it so be it then let all OZ be agreed i'm wicked through and through since i can not succeed Fiyero saving you I promise no good deed will I attempt to do again ever again no good deed will I do again!
• I've heard it saidThat people come into our lives for a reasonBringing something we must learnAnd we are ledTo those who help us most to growIf we let themAnd we help them in returnWell, I don't know if I believe that's trueBut I know I'm who I am todayBecause I knew youLike a comet pulled from orbitAs it passes a sunLike a stream that meets a boulderHalfway through the woodWho can say if I've been changed for the better?But because I knew youI have been changed for good, It well may beThat we will never meet againIn this lifetimeSo let me say before we partSo much of me Is made of what I learned from youYou'll be with meLike a handprint on my heartAnd now whatever way our stories endI know you have re-written mineBy being my friend...
• I'm through accepting limits 'Cuz someone says they're so Some things I cannot change But 'till I try, I'll never know Too long I've been afraid of Losing love - I guess I have lost Well, if that's love It comes at much too high a cost I'd sooner buy Defying gravity Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity And you can't pull me down... So if you care to find me Look to the western sky As someone told me lately - Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly And if I'm flying solo At least I'm flying free To those who'd ground me Take a message back from me - Tell them how I Am defying gravity! I'm flying high Defying gravity! And soon I'll match them in renown And nobody in all of Oz No wizard that there is or was Is ever gonna bring me down!

There you go... Now go buy the album :P

OK, so this post is just lyrics, I can't be bothered doing anything else :P