One + 1 = Thr3e

Over the last couple of years, I've received a lot of criticism in terms of the way I display my emotions. I shield them with layers and disguise my true feelings. Apparently, no one knows the real AdamMac. I have been told that I don't even know who the real me is. I think that's utter bullshit, I know perfectly well who I am. As for the rest of it, well I suppose its true. In some ways I can see that I'm like an onion, in terms of layers not how I make people cry*.

I've never been one to really display my emotions or tell people how I feel. I think I did it once before and was kinda let them with the whole experience, so I've just learnt not to do it. When I talk to some people though, they think that I'm opening up to them about certain things. Things that have happened in my life which I can easily tell people. The reason why I do this, is because I've de-sensitised that part of my life, so I don't see it as a big deal. People may think I've opened up heaps, but to me I haven't really said much. They then may think that they know heaps about me, but not really know much at all. I think being able to tell people these things, helps me delay having to open myself, a sort of defense mechanism.

Another thing people me is that there are a variety of different AdamMacs. Depending on the situation, I adapt to change the people around me, which apparently causes confusion for people trying to get to know me. This may be true for a couple of things, but I don't think its very true. These are the different types that I've recognised:

'MSN AdamMac'
I know I act differently on MSN. I think this happens with everyone though. We are able to hide ourselves behind our computer, and say things we probably wouldn't be able to say in real life. Apparently I'm also more witty on MSN?!? I don't really believe this, I think I'm even wittier in person.

'AdamMac@Work'
This one is similar to the MSN one. Mainly because I can act different when I'm talking to customers on the phone, because I have that protection of them not being able to see me. One thing that work has had an affect on me at work, is people's voices. I tend to visualise what people look like from the way they sound. I know it sounds weird, but I can judge a bit of a person by the way they sound.

'Softball AdamMac'
Probably one that a lot of people don't see. Mainly because the only people who see me play softball are the other softball players and family members. I think that when I play softball, I'm different to any of the other personalities. I get really involved, and the competitiveness comes out in me.

'Drunk AdamMac'
This is the most scariest one. If you wanna know any deep and meaningful stuff about me, you'll need to get me drunk first. I think I need to be so drunk, that I won't be able to remember saying it. I think one of the only ways that I will ever tell my deep dark secrets, is if I'm really drunk! And I'm talking so drunk that I would remember what I said the next morning!

So those are the sides I can think of. I'm sure that there is many more, and that I've only just scratched the surface, but its late and I wanna go to bed!

AdamMac
Layered.

*Although I do do that as well