Dilemma

I need help! Usually I'm not the first one to stand up and say that I need help, but its starting to hit me pretty hard. And for all those people at work, its not because I resigned, its for more reasons than that, that I can cope with.

You see, over the past couple of months, I must admit, I have changed... For the best, or maybe for the worst, I am not sure. My circle of friends, social hangouts, and likes and dislikes are changing, I will admit that. But the only reason why this is happened, is because I'm growing up, trying to be more mature, trying to get an understanding on life!

Now I've mentioned a dilemma, and that I need help. But I've also mentioned that I have a new circle of friends. Doesn't this mean I have people to go to... Well, not exactly. You see, I'm having dilemmas, with both aspects of my life, with both groups of friends. And its hard to go to one group for advice and then the other for advice as well. And its even harder when one group doesn't really care or understand, so they can't really give advice!

Now this one may seem a bit confusing to some, to others it might be as clear as rain... I'm sorry to those confused, but this is a way to get some of these feelings out!

There are some people in my life, one in particular lately, who I will turn to with anything, well say anything random too... you know who you are, and I must thank you... Because you have stood by me, through this whole stage of my life! And because of that, I would consider you to be one of my best friends. Other people who I thought I could turn to, have turned away, or not fully understood what I'm trying to say. And people may see me turning into a bitch around certain people, or may even blog about it, but if you don't understand the story behind, please stay out of it... This is something which other people shouldn't get involved in...

As for my dilemma??? Well what do I do?? At the moment, I'm thinking of starting a new blog, a diary blog so to speak... I won't link to it, and if other people come across, feel free to read it, but please don't let others know about it, or link to it. As it is a secret diary, please have respect...

I think that if I do this, I will be able to talk freely about anything, and have total random people read it, and it will hopefully take a load of my back!!!

Adam Mac

 

5 Comments:

  1. Anonymous said...
    6:08 pm  
    Sounds to me like your real dilemma is being honest to both groups of friends and with yourself.
    AdamMac said...
    11:09 pm  
    Anonymous, all I can say is that I have been complete and utterly honest with myself as of late... I'm just waiting for others to be more accepting... This post was in no way a personal attack on anyone! It was just a way for me to get my feelings out at the moment... If people take this the wrong way, well, sorry you've read too deep into it! I understand everyone has their own problems, and I'm not trying to make the world revolve around myself! I'm not even saying that I can't turn to people, I can, its just on certain issues, I find it hard to speak to certain people, people who I considered good friends,because maybe they aren't accepting, or maybe their don't understand... Look I'm not sure... But I'm sure of one thing, people have blown this way out of proportion, and I can safely say I'm not one of them!
    Anonymous said...
    5:02 pm  
    Seems to me that you rely too heavily on the advice of others. If you are truly trying to grow up, have the grace to accept changes in yourself, accept that others will not always agree with you, and get over it! That's what makes life truly interesting - people all with different views, feelings, vibes, etc. Stop pouring your heart out to others, and live! The first step towards having people love you is to love yourself.
    AdamMac said...
    5:26 pm  
    Ok, this has gone on for far too long... For starters, I'm fine with who I am at the moment. I might be going through a rough patch! But I will get through it, as I have gotten through many rough patches before... As for me not loving myself?!? Bullshit! I love myself, I share the same policy, how can you love others without loving yourself!
    I have lived, I have accepted changes within myself, but I find it dishearting, when others can't accept change, espcially people to which whom I felt close to... People who I thought would understand, but clearly I was wrong! The main reason I did this post was to get some of my feelings out, as I said before...
    Sure I can turn to people on other issues, and I do...
    Maybe, just maybe, Anonymous is right, maybe I should understand that people aren't accepting, but if people can't accept certain things about my life, I'm not sure if I can be accepting in return...
    As for me living more... As of late, I've done a hell of a lot of living, its just nice sometimes to be able to share that with others, which maybe, I shouldn't do??
    Anonymous said...
    7:21 pm  
    its fair enuff to be going thru a rough patch. its also fair enuff to be questioning your own actions and those of the ppl around you. Friends are accepting but u need to give them a chance. that said, dont feel like you need their approval. and about sharing your life with your friends: dont cut them out. u might not share everything but keep them in the loop. trust me babe, lack of communication can cause problems that no one wants or needs. miss ya.

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