One + 1 = Thr3e

Internet working at home, one problem, dads who don't like children!! Dads put an eternal ban on my internet usage... why?? I don't know!

Its now very depressing to know that I can't blog something long, because of work and such, but I feel so out of the loop. Usual, my 2am MSN conversations with people all over the world make me feel loved, but I've turned into one of those people who now only communicate via e-mail and sms! I've lost communication! No longer can I sit and laugh with people, I have to wait till I get their emails and then laugh by myself! :(

So I do feel bad if people out there are feeling like I don't love them, I do... maybe not you!, but I'm not avoiding anyone, except... well I can't say!!, but I do love ya all heaps!!

If you wanna know what the great Adam Mac is up to, read other people's blogs, sometimes I get a mention!!

Hopefully, a nice long blog will appear soon, probably about driving, clubbing, or whats happening this Saturday night!!!

What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains?
Patty O'Furniture.

YES!! I'm still alive, still kicking and having fun! But my lovely internet is still down, so I'm sitting and waiting for it to magically appear, so I can post something of half decent quality!

Big weekend just passed, went out, had fun, but now that its over, I'm so confused.

These past few weeks have been quite interesting in the land of Adam Mac. Meeting new people, exploring new places, being a grade A bitch, reuniting friendships, and having fun. But, now it seems that choices have to be made, Adam Mac must start to grow up! He must no longer dwell on the past and look towards the future, in a couple of months, I will be 20... thats right 20!! No longer a teenager, no longer able to get away with murder! Certain things must be done!

Will I survive these radical new changes?? Or will I crumple into a big mess?? You'll find out soon!

Why does Father Time wear bandages?
Because day breaks and night falls.

With the internet down at home, its becoming increasingly difficult to post nice long things on topics, so when it comes to lunchtime, I'm like, I don't have enough time to post!!

Lots has been happening in the land of Adam Mac, some good and some bad! The good, going out more, having a lot more fun, meeting awesomely fantastic people, and driving heaps. The bad, well... I don't wanna go into it!

Massive Apology: Timmotheus, I may have said some things which could be seen as hurtful and idiotic, I apologize massively, hence the reason this is called a massive apology!! Please understand that was I was saying was coming from a tired person about to fall asleep!

Till next time my little cherubs, the internet company is sending out a new modem!!!, have fun!

Why did the dinosaur cross the road??
It was the chicken's day off!!!

As promised an awesome post is here!! I sacrificed lunch today for you people, even though I had a disgusting Hungry breakfast. Maybe to do with the fact that I had just finished swimming and my body doesn't like swimming at 6am in the morning!!

Singlitis

Being single or attached? To be in a relationship or to be by yourself? Questions many people must ask themselves numerous times a day. It's a mindset that has been developed over centuries of social propaganda forced by society. You're not someone unless you're with someone else. To this, I say bullshit, a person's personality doesn't change if they enter a relationship, and if it does, they are clearly not in a long-lasting relationship anyway, how can you play a "character" in a relationship, maintaining it 24/7?? Enough about my complaints against social norms, this post is all about the highly contagious epidemic, Singlitis. We will be analyzing the symptoms, long term effects, and possible remedies.

According to the AdamMacictionary:

Singlitis- (pronounced single-it is) recurring phase in a person's life, where they are no longer in a committed relationship.

Singlitis can come down on anyone as quickly as a flash flood. You can one day be in a perfectly good relationship, then the next day comes along and you are no longer in one! Depending on the person, Singlitis can be a devastating stage in life, or a perfectly normal one, sometimes great. There is no standard length of time for Singlitis, with cases ranging from a couple of hours, to a couple of years.

A person usually doesn't suffer from Singlitis until they reach their mid-teenage years. The reason, it is at this time that people are heavily subjected to society's influence, so that they believe if they aren't in a relationship then they don't exist.

Cases of Singlitis can range from extreme to mild, depending on the person's circumstances. If a persona has just left a relationship, the case of Singlitis can usually be very severe, otherwise, if it has been going on for a while, then the case usually less extreme, as the person tends to get used to it.

Before I go anymore into the description of Singlitis, I think it is better if we look at the birth of Singlitis and give people a brief history, so you can understand it a bit more!

Depending on what you believe, in terms of creationism, Singlitis has varying starting points. According to the bible, Singlitis starts with Adam & Eve, the first couple of the world. Notice how neither of them could live without tone another, making it perfectly normal for them to live together, which made it perfectly normal for the rest of the world to follow. Do a quick job to contemporary popular culture, and soap, tabloid magazines, and celebrities have reinforced this concept of Singlitis. Soap operas display lovely happy couples and sad twisted single maniacs. Tabloid magazines always portray different celebrities, who are single, in different relationships, even if they might be happy being single.

So, how can you tell if you're suffering from Singlitis, well the main symptom is being single, really?? YES!!!, but if you are in a relationship, you cant ell if you are slowly catching Singlitis. The signs to Singlitis are:
· Your nights are spent sleeping, rather then going out, and talking on the phone and MSN.
· You start to check people out more often when you are with your other half.
· You wake up in the morning and you're by yourself.
· You start receiving notes rather then phone calls.
· You start to remember what your friend's look like.

Are you a long-term sufferer of Singlitis?? Think that being single isn't that bad?? Think again... Singlitis may seem safe and not very dangerous, but sometimes it can have devastating effects on people. It has been known that some people have even resorted to self-re-creation, meaning redoing their whole life, just so they can start again. Have you ever thought of the financial costs of this? And for what, so you can forget the past, find someone new and hopefully leave singledom forever? Just remember, you found someone in the first place, why not try and be yourself again??

We've discussed the symptoms and effects of singlitis, but what about those people who don't want to be single anymore? What can they do?? Well, there is a solution to the majority of problems, but as the case with many, when some solutions happen they could cause more problems.

The first step to overcoming your Singlitis is to make first contact. Now this can either be done by you making the first move, or by letting the other person know that they can make the move and that you are interested. The move itself would usually be dancing on the dancefloor closely, giving out a phone number, speaking to one another etc. When first contact has been made, it's the first big leap over the hurdle called Singlitis. But, there is still a long way to go!

When first contact has been made, what next?? Do you try and further it on to something else?? How can you tell if the other person is interested?? What I they just wanna stay friends?? This whole dilemma has emerged. For starters, you were faced with Singlitis. Now to get over that, you need to become a bloody mind reader! But don't be afraid, it's not that difficult. The only problem is that one of you must make the first move again, you must be brave enough to take it to a higher level. What the worst that could happen?? They might leave you, and you will have to stay single forever?? Or they could still be your friend?? There are so many questions relating to this whole dilemma, that you are probably better not to think about it, so stop reading!!! Only joking, or am I?? Anyway, basically after the first two moves have been made, you can virtually say farewell Singlitis, have a nice day!

The main things to remember, is that being single is not the end of the world, to change it, just get some guts! Have some fun and enjoy yourself!!

Remember, you have to love yourself, before you can love another!!

Dr Adam Mac
Single Specialist

JOKE!!!!

Email from the Skanky One:

Heys ppls!!!
Mark this date down. Hope you havent forgotten. On Thurs the 21st of this month, yes ppls, next Thurs, we have the taping of some brand spanking new show 2 go 2! You all better be going.
Its at 6:20 til 9:00, so i was thinkin get there past 5:30...
CONDITIONS: Attire is smart casual. No stripes, polka dots (DAMN!), checks (that means no lumberjack shirts Starks!), or shiny fabrics (thats you Louie, leave em at home!).
DISCLAIMER: I do not promise that
1) We will actually get in. Its a first come, first served kind of system, so we should get there heaps early. Even though we will look like tools standin there bored and prob cold and hungry, if we get in, it's na na nanana to the rest who dont. And since I finish uni at 3:30, i will go get munchies to keep us amused.
2)We will enjoy the show and have a good time. It may be a shit arse show, which may be the lamest thing we will ever see, but on the other hand, it may be brilliant. As I dont actually know what we have let ourselves in for, I say that we make our own fun, cheer the loudest, and just hav a ball (not enough to get us kicked out....although I suppose if its that bad a show, we could try....anyone feel like streaking??)
3) In the event that we either dont get in, or get kicked out (my bet is with Louie streaking), we may as well go 2 a pub or sumthin, and spend a few hrs in da city just bumming around, or if anyone has a better idea, do tell.
So, in the event that things do not go as planned, I take absolutely no responsibility. You have all been warned. In fact, when I first mentioned this to you, I steted the conditions under which this once in a lifetime opportunity was to occur. So, no bitching, no whinging, and Louie, if you are prepared to join me, I will gladly flash the security guards to get us in. Boys, leave your clothes on, ok?
Neways, if i dont hear from you, which I'm sure I will cos I'm actually stalking each and every one of you (btw, Louie, luv da undies...u know, da ones you wore that Sunday night *wink, wink*), i will assume that youre okay with the plans.
Cheers
Jo

Why did I post this?? Well, just to show what a crazy bunch of people my friends are!

Singlitis is on its way, just being proofread at the moment... Must say thanks to Timmotheus for reading it at 3am Sunday morning!

WOW! Haven't realised how long its been, sorry everyone... I still love you all, some more than others, yes I'm speaking to YOU!, no not you, the person behind you!

Awesome weekend just passed, can't go into much detail, but for a sober one, it was great. Maybe if I had of had a bit of alcohol, it could have been ever better!

Love ya heaps,

Adam "The Bitch" Mac

A guy walked into a bar, it hurt.

Following common trends, my internet has decided to hate me again, so blogging won't be as frequent as I would like it to be! But I will still blog, so don't leave me!! Or I'll cry, that isn't supposed to tempt you to leave by the way!! GRRR!!!

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion, that after the recent closure of the Feature Updates, they are gonna be back! I figured you out there, want to read something entertaining, informative, exciting... Why are you still here??? Seriously, feature updates are back, I'm not setting a specific time for them, so just keep checking!! Expect posts regarding comments made by you guys!!

So my next feature update will be "Singlitis", which is in regards to LouLou's comment, and the current state of singleness in the world! We will be exploring both the good and the bad of the single world! I know that Debbie The Bloody has done this already, but mine will be more focused on being single, and ways this can change...

Stay tuned: Singlitis

[Insert Bad Joke Here]

It seems that my stupidity and big mouth have got me in trouble recently. Therefore, this post is a list of apologies I would like to give out:

Bri- I'm so, so, so, sorry. I was only mucking around and I hope that I didn't offend you. You know I muck around heaps, and you will be getting that all page soon!!! Plus many, many more emails!

LouLou- Sorry for ignoring you and not speaking to you. I don't do it on purpose! But I feel bad cause it led you to do a blog post about it! SORRY!!!

Beckz- Sorry for not coming out with you recently but the Hole??? Come on!! Only joking!! BTW, congrats on the BF!!

Meghan B.- Sorry for not getting my license quick enough!! But, I shall drive you where ever you wanna go! Just excuse the bad parking, and sense of direction!

Skanky Jo- Sorry for continuously annoying you at work! I don't mean to do it, but its fun. Also sorry for cryptic messages in the middle of the night, and no answer till the next day!

Timmotheus- Sorry for busting your toe yesterday at the plaza. I hope it gets better! Sorry for displaying really bad driving skills, it seriously wasn't a red light and my parking was straight, well between the lines anyway!, and sorry for taking you into the city, to meet an awesome band, and then not meet them coz its their week off!

Mum- Sorry for taking your car all the time!!

As you can see, I have to make a lot of apologies. I'm sure there is even more, but I can't say them here, without either tainting my name, sorry kittens!, or affecting other people's lifes!

My next post will be a bit different, but you'll soon find out about it!

Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon?
He wanted to see stars during the day.

Howdy people... I must say that as of late, my inspiration for blogging has been very strange. I get some ideas that I think can work, and then some things that well, wouldn't work! After speaking to a couple of people, I've come to realise that my blog is very self centered, so why not make it more!!! YAY!!!

I figured that you out there, only get to find out stuff about me that I say, so, I thought I'd take a chance and let anyone "Ask Adam Mac". Yep, you can ask me anything, just post the comment, and if its a good question, the answer might turn into a whole new post!!

Yeah, so ask me anything... General Knowledge, help with homework, personal stuff, whatever... I'm waiting...

Why do girls like guys who wear shirts with eight buttons?
They fascinate.

I really need to go to the gym.

Ever since softball finished, with the disappointing loss of not one but two grand finals, I've started to get lazy. My exercise is cruising around the plaza, and taking late night strolls to the supermarkets with strangers!

And then it makes me think, if I'm single and going to the gym, what luck have I got, if I'm not going to the gym!! It actually started to frighten me, and I taking the whole "I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life" outlook. So I'm beginning to frighten myself into returning to that dreaded place, no not the Tudor, the gym!

Its not that dreaded, its just that I don't wanna go by myself, seeing that I'll probably get intimated by all the macho men, and run out of the gym squealing like a girl, okay so maybe I'm going a bit overboard, or maybe I'm not, I'll leave that up to your imaginations! Anyway, its safer to go to the gym with a friend anyway!

Or maybe I can try something different, I've already done Yoga. I walk quite a bit, not usually as slow as I was tonight, but I was with good company, so it was better to walk slow!

Anyway, I better do something or I will be destined to live in a house all by myself, full of cats which I would control to take over the world, "insert-evil-cackle-here"... See, I'm taking this whole frightening myself thing very seriously!!

If you have any suggestions on activities I could do, or any tips on the whole not being single thing... COMMENT!!!

I recently went to a seafood disco, and pulled a mussell.

Please Note: The following post contains extreme coarse language, and makes Adam Mac sound like a complete maniac!

Fuck You, you stupid piece of shit! This is directed at the person who has been pranking my phone for the last two nights straight. I don't know who you are, because you are too gutless to tell me who the fuck you are! But for someone to constantly ring someone, with a private number, and then not speak when you answer the phone, FUCK HEADS!

The only reason why I really get worked up by this is because I was having a really awesome week, and it had to end that way. And because I was out having a good time with my friends.

The fact that people can be so fucken horrible, really pisses me off!! So all I have to say to you is... FUCK YOU!!!

Thanks to the fuckhead who poured some drink all over my car while it was parked outside the pub last night! I got to spend today cleaning the car, inside and out!

It was a lovely sight washing the car, I had it parked out the back, it was bright and sunny, and there was me in me boardies washing the car, hoping for a tan, did it happen... NO!!! I'll just have to try harder!!

Anyway, thanks again to the idiot, may karma come back and bite you on the arse!

What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
My pop is bigger than your pop.

Well, well, well... After a great day yesterday, today rears its ugly head and all hell breaks loose!

Join me as I look back on what happened today...

• Get a call from work saying that I'm no longer required, and basically to fuck off! Thanks a lot!
• Call university to start course again, apparently I've been terminated from their files and I can't go back.
• Drop in on the high school to discuss Stage Managering the musical and told that I'm no longer needed because they want to give it to a better applicant, but I'm still wanted to build set at 3am in the morning!
• Decide to go cruising in mum's car to chill out, only to crash into a pole, right out the front of the Werribee Police station... Now, no car and no license!!!
• Get home and realize that I locked my keys in my room, and having no other spare set, meant I had to break down my door, which I can't put back up!!
• School holidays start today, to celebrate, the family is going to Queensland, which I'm not allowed to attend because there is no room!!!
• My friend said the best thing for me to do is to colour my hair an outrageous colour, she's a hairdresser... Now, after an hour of cuts and colours, I've got a funny green colour, she tried to bleach it, and a bowl cut!

Think my day could get any worse???? Well think again. After todays events there is only one thing to say:

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APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!

What did the lightbulb say to its mother?
I wuv you watts and watts.