One + 1 = Thr3e

As promised, here is a post about my sister's 18th birthday celebration. To make things more fun, I've split it into two bits, before and after... ENJOY!

BEFORE

Setting Up: With dad recently leaving the hospital, on Friday night, and seeing that he is on crutches with a massive cast on his ankle, it's a bit hard for him to move around... So, me and mum did a lot of the outside setting up, which we are now banned from doing... Why you ask...

• Taking balloons outside to hang up, so me and mum thought we would take all of them outside and just put them on the ground, yet as they hit the grass it sounded like a machine gun was going off with all the popping. We thought it was funny, but dad didn't, seeing that he was the lucky one who blew them all up, and now had to blow up another bag!
• With us both being artistic designers, or we thought, we spend ages discussing the placement of certain items, banners, streamers, etc., much to the dislike of dad who said put up the bloody things up and shut up!
• When I work, I like to have the music blaring, and due to mum's request of Gwen, it had to happen. So instead of working, me and my mum were grooving to the music! So a lot of work wasn't happening, and we got in trouble, by who I wonder...
• Now in this dotpoint, it is actually mum who gets banned! So, when hanging up banners, I believe it is better to see the banner, not what is holding it up. So I delicately placed the masking tape behind the banners, and mum decided to put half the masking tape on the banner and the other half on the wall. Needless to say, you could tell which half I put up, and which half mum put up!
• Balloons hating us so much that when we walked out into the backyard, they would pop when we looked at them... Damn you balloons... GRRRRRR!!!

By the end of it, me and mum were well and truly over it!!!

Softball-

Now a common activity in this house is softball, hence the reason why all my Saturdays are full of softball and nothing else! This subject has nothing to do with the partae, but I just thought I'd tell everyone about the awesome "tip-toe" double play, and fantastic playing of shortstop! Needless to say, we won!

Alcohol Shopping-

Before any partae, you must always be prepared! So I went with the lovely Lauren, supreme hairdresser and future wife, to go get some alcohol! It was an eventful trip, with lots of surprising things happening, which sadly i can't discuss here!

Now the party is happening, well not now, but in this post it is! But for a change I'm not gonna talk about it, just the things that have come out of it!

AFTER

1. SKUNT! The new word use it. Sitting around, we started talking about what the term for a male skank is. Sadly no-one could think of one, except for Lauren. And so SKUNT is the new word... use it! Also, I'll just add my suggestion, manker, short for mega wanker, I'll be using it, so you should too!
2. Broken bones, okay so maybe not bones but ligaments, which is close enough! The birthday girl, while doing the limbo, "Ah Ah Limbo", crumpled to the ground in a laughing mess, only to discover, this morning, that she has done something horribly wrong to it! Congrats must go out, because she still soldiered on and enjoyed her celebration!
3. Lack of pizza. Very disappointed that after ordering 16 pizzas, no of which are left here now! I was looking forward to my cold pizza this morning but I was let down!!
4. Lack of sleep... Now I piked it, and went to bed at about 1:30 because I have a big two days planned. But that wasn't helped by people cleaning up this morning and banging on my walls, to "clean" them... Ha very funny! Thank you all!
5. Cruiser love. Last night continued my love for cruisers, especially Pineapple and Blueberry. They are awesome, mostly because they gave me a green tongue. I didn't have a lot of drinks, because as of late, I'm well and truly over it!
6. D&M, thankful to the great D&M's that come out of parties. The person knows who I'm talking about, and I'm very grateful!

Overall, a great time was had! Not really much more to say! Hope you enjoyed...

BTW, each week, I'm gonna have a feature update. The feature update is gonna about something other than myself! I'll still update little posts about whats going on in my life, but the main one will be the feature post! I'll even research for it. I'm trying to cut down on the size of posts, so there will be one big one a week! Look at the "Stay Tuned" section for more info...

Stay tuned: The creation of a mega-bitch!

A deer, a skunk, and a duck went to the grocery store. When they were ready to check out, the deer didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a scent, so they put it all on the duck's bill.

How many life changing experiences can one person have in their lifetime??

Sitting in the car going to work in the morning, I thought about all things I can post about! I know it sounds sad, but at 6am in the morning, your mind tends to wander. So this thought came into my head... as well as many others, which I have saved in my phone, so expect posts later!

Anyway, lots of places, usually camps and holidays, promote their services as a life changing experience. I wanna know, how many times can one person's life be changed in their life time...

At the moment, I've done three things, which have all been marketed as being life changing experiences, and all three have effected my life in some sort of way.

I feel thankfull for all these things, but it makes me question the reasoning behind calling it life changing! Everything that you do in life is bound to change your life in some way, thats why I don't like people saying that it changed your life... I don't know, I'm just rambling on at the moment so I better stop!

Wow! I can't believe I just posted on nothing!! Hope you enjoyed! Send me an e-mail about anything, I'd love to hear what you have to say!

Also, in the last post, it made me look like a total couch potato... I don't watch all those shows, just interested in them... Had to clear that up!

A cabbage, a faucet, and a tomato had a race. The cabbage was ahead, the faucet was running, and the tomato tried to catch up.

Nothing has happened at the moment. Just trying to convince people to start blogging!

SYN is about to enter its final week for the summer grid, so tune into all the shows, I'm sure they are gonna be doing exciting things! Also, next block, I may be hosting a J-Pop show, Tuesday Nights, I'm not sure of the time, 7:30 I think. It's Emlyn's show, so if I'm not on it, you can still listen to him!

Thats about it lately...

Oh, maybe I should mention the fact that at the moment I'm on trial for a full-time job! GO ME!!! But thats only a little thing to worry about! Also, that I'm doing driving lessons, Watch out, Adam Mac is getting behind the wheel and hitting the road! But they are just small minor things

Until next time, keep working, keep partaeing and HAVE FUN!!!

BTW, talking about partaes, it's my sister's 18th on Sat, so expect the post early Sunday morning!

Okay, so the joke is a bit longer than the post, but its really bad, so I had to put it on the site!

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife and arranging to have her killed.
A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure, who went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid in part up front. The man opened up his wallet and displayed the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Safeway grocery store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
Unknown to Artie, the entire proceeding were captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband.
And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared: "Artie chokes two for a dollar at Safeway."

I love my television... I have just been sitting and waiting for the ratings season to begin, so I can sit down and relax and watch all my favourite TV shows, and some new ones to begin. In this post, I will update you on my current favs, and ones I'm looking forward to...

Desperate Housewives

Okay, I was addicted to this show before it even started. I read all about it and thought, what a bloody good idea for a show, similar to the show that I have made up, but more on that later! For those who don't know the storyline, you must be living under a rock!, it is about a bunch of housewives who all have secrets to tell, and those secrets are told by another housewife, who killed herself in the first episode!!
Adam Mac's Verdict: 4½ out of 5 remotes

Lost

I was very, very disappointed in this one... I read about it and thought, okay it sounds okay, but it depends on what they do with it. And they did the most disappointing thing.. They look like they are going in a sci-fi sort of storyline, and I'm very angry. I was thinking, if a big dinosaur or a big robot comes out, I'm throwing the remote at the TV! But, I must watch the next couple of episodes, so I can see what the hell it is.
Adam Mac's Verdict: 1½ out of 5 remotes

The Apprentice

An oldy but a goody. It starts tonight, so I'm staying up for it. Always a good show, a show with bitchy backstabbing is always good to me!
Adam Mac's Verdict: 3 out of 5 remotes

X- Factor

I haven't watched it, but read about it and I'm impressed. I was gonna stay away from it, thinking oh my god its another Popstars, but it sounds interesting... So, I'm gonna tune in...
Adam Mac's Verdict: 2½ out of 5 remotes

The Biggest Loser

I love this show, its on at the moment, and I'm turning around going, "What happened?"... A show which mixes Survivor and weight loss is always good. Fat people bitching about fat people... always a winner!
Adam Mac's Verdict: 4 out of 5 remotes

The Amazing Race

Another oldy but a goody. Fantastic show, great concept, but it was hurt by a bad timeslot, GRRR Channel 7, I really wanna be a contestant on this show!
Adam Mac's Verdict: 5 out of 5 remotes

My Restaurant Rules

Even with Dicko, I will still watch this. Not only is Dicko disturbing, but I got in a conversation with someone about how each contestant looks like other contestants in other reality TV shows... Good concept, and it will be better this year, with less renovation shown on telly and more dilemmas and bitchiness to be shown!
Adam Mac's Verdict: 4 out of 5 remotes

Dancing with the Stars

I only caught the end of this last year, but I was quickly addicted. I'm a bit scared with the whole Nicki Webster thing, but that is why remotes are made! Should be a good one to watch!
Adam Mac's Verdict: 2 out of 5 remotes

Survivor

Yet again, another oldy but a goody! After how many seasons and its still going strong!
Adam Mac's Verdict: 5 out of 5 remotes

Big Brother

A definite viewing option. What more can I say!!!
Adam Mac's Verdict: 5 out of 5 remotes

Looking back at this, it looks like I watch a lot of telly, which is true. And it may look like I rushed it, but for the ones that are on all the time, you know how they work. Expect updates, when these shows get interesting, because I like to analyze them, and point out the stupid people!

A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right.

I have just discovered a new love, the Thorpedo bottle...

Okay, so when Thorpie brought out a new water, I instantly thought, here we go, another celebrity endorsed crappy product! But I was surprisingly wrong. A fellow workmate recently discovered the bottle and I now know why she was so excited about it.

For starters, the bottles don't drip if you put them upside down. They have this suction thing so it only comes out when you suck on it... So it was great in my softball bag on Saturday, because it didn't leak if the cap came undone. Also, I'm sure that everyone at softball is well and truly over the fact that it doesn't leak, seeing that I thought it was my duty to tell EVERYONE about this cool new bottle!

Thats enough about Thorpedo... Go out and buy the bottle yourself to know what I'm talking about... I recommend the Orange flavour!

A dentist found something wrong with one of his patients. The upper plate that had been put in earlier was corroding. "What have you been eating?" the dentists asked the man.
"All I can think of is that about three months ago my wife made some asparagus and put Hollandaise sauce on it. I loved it so much, I put it on everything now."
"That's the problem," the dentist said, frowning. "Hollandaise sauce contains lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."
"Why chrome?"
"It's simple. Everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

"I'm sexy. I'm cute, I'm popular to boot, I'm bitching, Great Hair, The boys all like to stare"....


Again, not on drugs or alcohol, but excited at the fact that I now own Bring It On on DVD... Now before you start thinking what the hell, let me explain....

There used to be this little thing at my old high school called Rock Eisteddfod. I only did it in my last year, but when I do something I give 110%... I helped with paperwork, built sets at 3am on a Saturday night, rehearsed and danced my arse off. Ever since, I have been thinking about themes for Rocka, for both Secondary and Primary, I also help out at my brother's primary school- my old one!... So one day, I got the idea for a Bring It On theme. So I thought I'd go out and buy it on DVD...

Little did I know, in the whole of Wyndham, Bring It On is no where. Its not at any of the shops at the Werribee Plaza, not at any video stores, to rent or buy, its not anywhere... So I found it increasingly painful to walk into a shop and ask about it, because everyone thought they were being helpful, by saying "Have you tried here?", "Yes, Not there".... I got very sick and tired of the same thing.

Now it wasn't just the fact that I couldn't find it anywhere, but it began to haunt me. No, not nightmares, but everywhere I went, I would see something related to Bring It On... Mainly its sequel, Bring It On Again. For starters, I wasn't even aware that there was a sequel, but it is everywhere. I would look at the spines of DVD's, and see the Bring It On title, and get my hopes up and then be brought back to Earth with a crashing jolt when I saw the word Again! It wasn't only the sequel that haunted me... When I walked into video stores, I would look at the TV and an ad for Kirsten Dunst would be on... and they would talk about her role in Bring It On, and show a bit of it!

But finally, after weeks of searching through discount buckets and endless shelves of DVD's it made an appearance, at Melbourne Central... But one small problem, I had no money, so I had to stand there with it in my hand, put it back and walk away... A very sad day indeed... But today I went back there, found it in my hiding spot, where I left it last time, and bought it! As soon as I got home, it got put in the DVD player and was played for the very first time!

This was just a little saga that all my friends knew about, and found it amusing, so I thought I had better blog it!

Why don't matches play softball?
One strike, and they're out.

Okay, as your reading the title of the post, your probably thinking what the hell is he on, and hopefully Adam Mac hasn't decided to blog when he's drunk AGAIN!

Well, I'm not under the influence, I just thought it would be amusing to add different initials to the end of my name. Like how people have MP at the end of their name. And yes, all these initials have meaning...

I'll let you sit there and think about what all these things mean, and if you want to have a guess, feel free to comment at the end of this post.

Speaking of comments, I recently received one from Bec, about how I don't find them interesting because I never talk about my random adventures at the Tudor. Now for all those people who don't know, the Tudor is a hole. A big black hole full of lots of drunk old people! I have never seen a DJ who looks like she could be my grandmother, or heard one cranking up the Boney M!!! I go there because I know of a couple of people there, and I find it amusing to laugh at everyone!

I usually go on a Friday night every once and a while, and I go with Bec and her brother, Matt. Before we go, I go to their house and we find out what we are going to do for the night. It's always good to have a mission before leaving the house. Last week, it was to find the short haired chick so Bec could bash her.

Now it is also on Friday nights, that I adopt the role of Personal Assistant to the lovely Bec. I pick up my phone and dial her friends, and let them know about the important meetings I have booked in for them. Or in other words, get your arse to the Tudor now! Also when I'm on the phone, I need to be a tad bit bitchy, yes sometimes I can be bitchy!, and I control the conversations. Needless to say that I can't really remember a conversation where I have said "goodbye", a simple hanging up of the phone is enough, isn't it? Also, just because people talk, doesn't mean you have to listen... Just leave the phone on the table when it sounds like they are about to start telling you about their life story, pick it up regularly and say "Really?", "You don't say", "That's unbelievable" and "I agree".

Well, back to last week. Bec was on a mission, and as a dedicated Personal Assistant, I felt that I too would join the mission. So, armed with a photo, I went around asking people if they knew this person. Personally, I would have rathered standing on the table and screamed out... "Has anyone seen a stupid skanky mole with short hair who my friend wants to bash?", but apparently that isn't very good communicational skills and its very embarrassing, for my friends, personally I couldn't give a rat's arse!

Sadly, we didn't find the short haired slut, but there is always next time!

Mahatma Gandhi was a peculiar person. He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. He often went on hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed very bad breath. He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.