Just saw a thing on Channel Ten's news, and instantly thought I had to blog about it!
They were presenting results from a scientific thing ran in the U.S. comparing guys and girls brains. There were saying that chicks talk almost three times more than men everyday. Now I know that I talk for work, but I talk outside of work, and there a very rare times when I'm not talking. This would explain the huge phone bills, and the fact that I talk too fast. I think I might be talking to fast so I can fit more in, because I don't want to lose time for talking, I might think of something exciting to say.
They also said that a guy's brain uses double the power to think about sex. Now, I know that I'm a guy, but I don't think about it that much. Which is weird, but I just don't think about it as much as other guys do. They were saying that chicks use more of their brain to talk, so that's why they don't think much about sex.
That basically means, that I have a chick's brain and the reason why I don't think about sex is because I'm talking too much!
AdamMac
All talk, no action
I have my Christmas party on Friday night. It should be a ball! But it has a dress up theme, not compulsory, and I don't know what to do. I don't know whether or not to dress up as a someone or just turn up looking hot! The theme is 'Hollywood nights'.
At the moment, I'm thinking of just dressing up nice. Like shirt, dress pants etc. Pretending I've arrived on the red carpet. Its going to be the most easiest thing to do, and not going to involve a lot of effort. I could always just say that I'm going as AdamMac 'C Grade Personality, not that anyone would get that apart from the people who read this.
If I hired a costume and got really involved, I'd be a bit paranoid all night about wrecking the costume. Mainly because its free alcohol! And after last years, I think I need to know what my limits are. Last year it was a school theme. So I went in a blazer, white shirt, tie (complete with 'I Heart Boys' badge) and jeans. It was nice and simple. But pre-drinks then led to me having red hair! Yep, don't ask me how it happened, but when I woke up the next morning it was red!
Speaking of hair, I have no idea how to have my hair done for the night. Its gotten to the point where I hide it with my hat at the moment, just because there is nothing I can do with it. But I'm getting it cut on Friday, just before the party, so I need to make up my mind!! If I'm not feeling creative and can't think of what to do, I'll just do my regular cut-it-short-so-I-can-spike-it look.
So thats my newest dilemma. Well not really that major a dilemma, seeing that I have many others, but lets not talk about those!
AdamMac
Walking the Red Carpet like a PRO!
Over the last couple of years, I've received a lot of criticism in terms of the way I display my emotions. I shield them with layers and disguise my true feelings. Apparently, no one knows the real AdamMac. I have been told that I don't even know who the real me is. I think that's utter bullshit, I know perfectly well who I am. As for the rest of it, well I suppose its true. In some ways I can see that I'm like an onion, in terms of layers not how I make people cry*.
I've never been one to really display my emotions or tell people how I feel. I think I did it once before and was kinda let them with the whole experience, so I've just learnt not to do it. When I talk to some people though, they think that I'm opening up to them about certain things. Things that have happened in my life which I can easily tell people. The reason why I do this, is because I've de-sensitised that part of my life, so I don't see it as a big deal. People may think I've opened up heaps, but to me I haven't really said much. They then may think that they know heaps about me, but not really know much at all. I think being able to tell people these things, helps me delay having to open myself, a sort of defense mechanism.
Another thing people me is that there are a variety of different AdamMacs. Depending on the situation, I adapt to change the people around me, which apparently causes confusion for people trying to get to know me. This may be true for a couple of things, but I don't think its very true. These are the different types that I've recognised:
'MSN AdamMac'
I know I act differently on MSN. I think this happens with everyone though. We are able to hide ourselves behind our computer, and say things we probably wouldn't be able to say in real life. Apparently I'm also more witty on MSN?!? I don't really believe this, I think I'm even wittier in person.
'AdamMac@Work'
This one is similar to the MSN one. Mainly because I can act different when I'm talking to customers on the phone, because I have that protection of them not being able to see me. One thing that work has had an affect on me at work, is people's voices. I tend to visualise what people look like from the way they sound. I know it sounds weird, but I can judge a bit of a person by the way they sound.
'Softball AdamMac'
Probably one that a lot of people don't see. Mainly because the only people who see me play softball are the other softball players and family members. I think that when I play softball, I'm different to any of the other personalities. I get really involved, and the competitiveness comes out in me.
'Drunk AdamMac'
This is the most scariest one. If you wanna know any deep and meaningful stuff about me, you'll need to get me drunk first. I think I need to be so drunk, that I won't be able to remember saying it. I think one of the only ways that I will ever tell my deep dark secrets, is if I'm really drunk! And I'm talking so drunk that I would remember what I said the next morning!
So those are the sides I can think of. I'm sure that there is many more, and that I've only just scratched the surface, but its late and I wanna go to bed!
AdamMac
Layered.
*Although I do do that as well
Okay, I’m officially addicted to Poker. It’s rather sad really. When I get bored, I find myself playing online against random people all over the world. I’ve got four different programs on my computer, which with a separate account, to play on. I have also recently got myself a poker set, complete with dice and chips! Whenever people come over, the poker set gets whipped out and a quick game begins!
Now I’m not the greatest at it, but I have fun playing, so that’s all that matters. I love going All-In and winning people’s money, not the biggest fan of losing it though. I play with fake money, so mum don’t worry I’m not spending all my money on Texas Hold’em.
I don’t know what’s so addictive about it though. I think it helps fill my competitive needs. I love beating other people. I love testing peoples limits in how much they bet and then winning all their money from them. Its such a mind game, that’s it not only good to play, but fun to watch. I love watching the people play it on television. Because you get to see them crumble in front of you, and watch the other players triumphant.
But I don’t think I’m as good in person as I am online. I think I need my computer to be between me and the other players, so that they can’t see my face. Mainly because I’m not the best at bluffing, and its so much easier to bluff online! Anyway, I must be off, more poker to play.
AdamMac
Looking for a Pokerholics Anonymous.
Isn't it funny, that when you watch a television show, you can associate with the people in it. You can look at the show and think, that's exactly how I would react, or that's exactly like what I did. Have you ever watched a show, and had that feeling with all the main characters? I have.
When you watch something on television, you can judge it right away. You can think to yourself, that was really bad, why did he do that? But, in real life its not that easy. You can't judge your actions as soon as you do them. I think one of the main reasons why you can't do this in real life is because you don't get to see the full picture. You don't get to see how one small decision that you've made, has affected people's lives around you. Whereas in a television show, you can see it all.
The show that I was watching was Queer as Folk (US), typical I know! In the time of about two episodes, I was seeing some of the things I have done on screen, and it made me think about when I actually did them in real life. But I didn't stop there, I started placing other people in the show. I started taking characteristics I had seen in my friends, and then associated them with the characters in the show. It was turning into my own little version of Queer as Folk, with all my friends in it.
When I watched it and saw them doing the exact same thing I have done, it made me think about a lot of my actions over the last two years. It made me question whether or not my actions were correct. I know that in the last two years, I have done a couple of wrong things, and that I may have hurt some people, but its because of my own reasons. I'm slowly working on them, and hopefully, soon, I'll be able to figure out exactly why it happened.
I know that lately I've changed a fair bit. Even in the last two months. Basically, may main problem I had was when I would see someone, and they would get attached, in terms of really liking me, and wanting to take it further, I would push them away, and practically disappear! It explains my ever changing circle of friends. I know this sounds silly, but its just what I did. I don't know if this was because of personal commitment issues I have, or I just didn't like that person. I thought it was safe to say that I had changed a little bit recently, maybe I was a bit wrong. I stopped seeing someone a couple of weeks ago. I still wanted to remain friends, because I think he is a great guy. Usually, I wouldn't want this to happen, and would have just stopped talking to this person, but I still wanted to be friends with him.
Last night, on a normal conversation on MSN, he suggests we have 'a break'. He said it would be good for our friendship. I get a text message later that night saying he was only being stupid and didn't mean it. The thing is though, he would have had to have that thought running though his head for him to even mention it, meaning he had been thinking about it. It made me think, that maybe it wasn't just me pushing people away, but people also staying away from me.
I know it sounds stupid, but I started to think that maybe when people get close to me, they realise something about me that I haven't yet seen in myself, and it scares them away.
Anyway, I think I've gone too deep into one little issue and should just liven up! Enough of this deep and meaningful stuff, I don't usually do this!
In completely other news, 'A Forbidden Secret' is coming soon. Expect to see it early 2007!
AdamMac
Living vicariously through QAF
Someone posted this on a MySpace bulletin, thought I'd put it on here as well!I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
Some of the things mentioned above a quite sad. Mainly because they are all true. It's sad that I can name someone for nearly all of these things that have happened.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
Will homophobia ever end? Lets hope so.
AdamMac
Out and Proud
'Describe me in 1 word, just 1! Send it to me and then send this text to 10 people and see how many strange things they think about u! Do reply its funny!'THE RESPONSES:
- Lesbian
- Conceited... I'm guessing thats why you sent that message.
- Adam
- Funny
- Work
- Bitch
- Weird Cool Stupid Awesome :P you get four words hehe
- Amazing
Wanna add to the list?? Comment...
AdamMac
1 word description is all he needs.
P.S. Yes I am aware not all 10 people replied!
I hate doing grocery shopping. Its one of those things that I truly loathe. I think its mainly because I'm too paranoid about what I'm buying and when people see what I have in my basket, they might judge me on it. I know it sounds very paranoid of me, but for some reason, every time I go shopping, I always feel like I'm being watched.
I think this paranoia stems from my inability to grocery shop. Its not like when I walk into a supermarket, I can't function, it's just that I don't really know what to buy. I know about the staples and stuff like that, i.e. Milk, Bread, Chocolate, but I don't know about the other stuff.
I don't cook much, and I think that may also be another one of my problems when it comes to grocery shopping. Instead of six thousand different fruits and veg in my basket, I have either apples or mandarins. Instead of different spices and powders, I have the Pasta and Sauces packets.
Another thing that annoys me when I go shopping, is when you finally finish and go to the checkout, you have to put everything on the conveyor belt. I get all confused, because I don't know if there is an order for everything to go on the belt, like certain foods being together etc. And they always seem to take forever to serve the person in front of me, so it feels like all my groceries are on the belt on display for an eternity. I think this is just my paranoia of not being able to buy the right things that makes it feel like an eternity, but it does seem quite long.
I really shouldn't say they aren't right things. I suppose what I buy isn't exactly the most healthy options, but its gets my by. Who cares if I've got a 5 pack of 2 minute noodles?
AdamMac
Looking into shopping online