Don't you hate it when you leave a pub/club and you have that ringing in your ears for days to come... Well, if you see me in the next couple of days, expect a lot of "Huh? What did you say?"...
Stay Tuned: Musical Eras of a Personal Life!
What did the alien say to the gardener?
Take me to your weeder.
Filed: Drunk
NB: Please excuse the random comments, my sister likes to input from her bed... Her comments are in Quotation marks, and put in when she said so!
Once again, my Friday night adventures have returned. After about three weeks of vowing never to go there again, I succumbed to my friends, Matty and Beckz, and returned to the hole of the universe... The Tudor!
Now I know that I have slammed this place lots of times before, on and off the blog... but I have to. Its a hole, a sad place where I only go to laugh, "I need to go toilet", at the other people that turn up. It also makes me feel good, seeing that there are a lot of ugly people there, making me feel a lot better!
On a Friday night, they swap between having a dj and a live band! None of which are very special.. The dj looks like shes been taken out of the retirement village for the night, and the band sounded like they didn't know what instruments they were playing let alone know what the song was... They were nothing compared to the great Inferno, but we'll get into that later!
The place has an entrance cut-off time of 1am, which is surprising, because you'd think a place like that would need all the customers they can get! Sadly, I left the place at 1am, can you tell I was disappointed!, so I didn't get to see all the sad happenings, what I saw was enough anyway... And if I had of stayed there, I would have had to drink more, which would have made me waste a lot of money. Maybe that's how they make money, make the venue, band and dj crappy, and people drink more to forget the place they are in! What a brilliant marketing scheme: The more you drink, the better this place becomes!
The dj was old. She has possibly never heard any remakes of songs, maybe that's why she was playing the originals, like car wash! Thriller only works in a packed out venue, where people are having fun, and the sound system is good... Hence the reason, "Dad's not using his crutch anymore", it didn't work there!! And just a quick note if your reading, its probably not a good idea to repeat songs that the band just played!
Speaking of the band. They were called Gravity, which I thought was a very good name for them... Seeing that fact they would probably never make it to the top, because something was holding them back, gravity maybe. They were just more proof, "I got Vodka chocolates", that no-one can sing Jessie's Girl or 500 miles like Inferno, Burke in particular! The band was another reason I left. I already heard them kill Gwen and Franz, if I had of heard Maroon 5 or Missy, people would have died!
Thats enough about the crappy place, so lets move on to another... Now I'm not gonna name names, but people who know me, will know what place I'm talking about. Lets call them Healthy's for the sake of not getting sued! I usually go to this place for my late night hungry fixes, both drunk and sober! But all of the sudden, "My foot is purple", they have gone healthy... So the greasy fixes aren't there...
Also, I was attacked by the famous Loz, who didn't like me spreading our personal words on the internet. She wasn't a fan, "I need a higher chair", and has posted nasty comments! Also someone else who is not a fan, Matty, who has started a blog just to beat me, don't believe me, see his profile, and the subtle, yes matty you spell it this way, attacks in his post...
Till next time...
Stay Tuned: Musical Eras of a Personal Life!
One day, this king decided to go hunting. So he gathered up his entourage of servants and went trekking into the woods, in search of deer. After searching for a while, he heard some rustling in the bushes nearby. He drew his rifle and aimed at the bush, when, all of a sudden, a man came running out, yelling, "Don't shoot! Don't shoot! I'm not a deer!" The king shot him dead.
After a little while, one of the king's servants finally gathered up enough courage to ask the king, "Sire, why did you shoot that man? He said he wasn't a deer!"
The king replied, "Oh! I thought he said he was a deer!"
This is the very first feature update... Brought to you by Adam Mac:
The Creation of a Mega-Bitch
As you are all probably aware. I would class myself as a bloody good bitch. This has come from the many years of working in the theatre, dealing with little pieces of shits, and well, just being myself. Now you may think that a guy cannot be a bitch, but they can, and they can sometimes be the best type. In this post, I analyze the different types of bitches, from movies, television, and literature... Take the best elements and join them together, to make a MEGA bitch.
Now there are your classic bitches that everyone loves to hate, but nearly all of them have had some flaw, which is usually a strong point of another bitch. This is what gave me the thought on creating a mega-bitch, by taking those strong points and putting them together. But to do this, I would have to find a lot of materials. So, yours truly, hit the movies, books and television, in search of some of our greatest bitches. Instead of structuring this post in terms of movies etc. I'm going to analyze the different types of bitches, and the qualities and attributes and tell you who possessed these.
The rich bitch, daddy's little girl etc. who owns everything in the world, and if she doesn't own it, she could easily buy it with daddy's credit card. She lives in the big house, has a room that is probably the size of my house, and is usually also the toast of the school. She is the one who is most likely to become the Homecoming Queen, and be attached to the token jock. Now this may sound totally American, but I'm looking at this from the movie point of view, and there hasn't been a lot of Australian movies on the topic, I can only think of Looking For Alibrandi. Anyway, classic examples of these bitches are the main bitch in Mean Girls, Carly from Looking for Alibrandi, the red headed chick in Clueless, the tv series, etc. The most powerful thing that this type of bitch has got is money, which in turn buys her power. But the things she is lacking is a sense of normal, which can hit hard and affect the quality of her bitching power, when she loses that money.
The bitch with the mouth, is one of the most powerful bitches, as she can stand up for what she wants, and doesn't give a shit about what people think around her. Her goal is to get what she wants and she is not scared to challenge anyone who gets in her way. Her ability to kick arse verbally, destroys her challengers, by turning them into a blubbery mess. This is the type of bitch who has no friends, as she will usually turn on them. Her strength is that she can get what she wants, but she will have no-one to share the glory with. The best example of this type of bitch is Big Red, from Bring It On. Best quote to describe her "...I'm still Big Red!". This may have no meaning by itself, but the fact that she pushes someone out of the way and stills the limelight is.
The backstabbing bitch. This is the cunning and devious one. She plans her attacks all the through, and like the bitch with the mouth, she doesn't care who she takes out. This is the type of bitch who has plenty of friends, but that could change as soon as they find out what she is really like. She gets the goss on her friends, and if one of them back-fires or if she wants to have a bit of fun, she turns on them. The hand with the knife goes up and stabs her friends in the back, when they have no chance to defend themselves. Now, it may not always be the bitch putting in the knife, but she has the ability to manipulate others and make them do the dirty work. This is usually done by some form of blackmail. This bitch knows that she is in control of any situation, and if she isn't she can easily detract attention from herself, by sacrificing one of her friends. One of the best bitches at this is the legendly Richard Hatch, Survivor. Who was a massive backstabber, but he did it to get to his million dollars.
The bitch who doesn't know she is a bitch. Now this one is a tricky one. This type of person is incapable of seeing that they are a bitch, and will not accept the fact that they are one. She hurts her friends without knowing it, and well basically there is nothing good about this type of bitch. She would quickly lose all of her friends and be left alone, for something she isn't’t aware is going on. The way that this bitch would lose he friends is that she might accidentally let things slip, which she has been told in secret. The can sometimes be the best type of bitch, but it is a dangerous one to master. For this type of bitch to succeeded she needs to wake up and smell the roses, and realize what a bitch she is. Sometimes, the best bitch is one that knows they are one.
The drunk bitch. This bitch only comes out when one has had a tad bit too many to drink. The best thing about this bitch is that because she doesn't vent her bitchiness regularly, when she is drunk, it comes out all at once, creating a massive explosion of bitchy comments that she has bottled up for awhile! Now if this type of person bitched during the day, she wouldn't need the massive outbursts and would save a lot of friends. Sometimes, bitching in moderation is a good thing.
The army of skanks, possibly the best description for the group of wannabe bitches. Now this is taken out of Mean Girls, and it described the group of people who surrounded the bitches, in other terms, bitch groupies. This are the type of people that can either make or break a bitch, depending on the type of bitch that they have around them! This little posse tries in vain to become the central bitch, and if the middle bitch is not aware of her "friends" they could come back and bite them on the arse! Like in Mean Girls, where when they cracked the army of skanks, the central bitch was taken down by her own kind. The skanks constant need to become the central bitch is their biggest issue, because they start to fight one another, which can lead to nasty public displays, which aren't good for any respectable bitch.
The Innocent looking bitch. This is a dangerous combination. A sweet profile with a rotten core. This bitch has the ability to disguise herself as a total sweetheart, and confuse others into her false identity. She is able to bitch, but then withdraw into her secret disguise, leaving none the wiser. And when people discover her secret, they aren't able to prove anything, because no-one will believe them. The classic example is Professor Umbridge, and Reverend Lovejoy's daughter. It helps this bitch if they come from a respectable background and have a good upbringing.
The Mega-Bitch! The top of the list. This one is a combination of all the above. She is able to lie, backstab and destroy reputations in a single smile. Her ability to think of quick returns leaves her challenges dead in their tracks before they can begin! She aligns herself with a group of friends who are unable to see the truth, and will risk their lives to save their reps, who can be seen with a mega-bitch! Walking down the corridor of her school, people make way, and other bitches sit there and admire her work! She has the mouth and determination to do anything, and will get anything she wants. She comes from a rich upbringing, owning anything ever made. She sets the trends at school! She walks with style. The girls want to be her, and the guys want to have her. She is a bitch and she knows it!
As you can see there are many different types of bitches, not so straightforward after all. Which one are you? I'd love to hear your comments!
Stay Tuned: Musical Eras of a Personal Life!
Another poor soul worked at a company making blankets. He lost his job when the company folded.
Filed: Feature
Yes tonight is Thursday, yes I promised that the feature update would be Thursday... but due to family members in the hospital... it is currently not happening... So it is now an update on my sister...
As you all know, she hurt her knee. After having an MRI, the doctor told her to see a specialist, which she saw and booked her into the hospital for an operation, this morning!
She was supposed to have a small operation called a scope thingy, which would insert the screws... BUT, because of major damage, she had to have her knee opened up, and the screws inserted that way...
Let's just say that she will be in the hospital for a bit, and she won't be able to work for a month!
Stay Tuned: The Belated The Creation of a Mega-Bitch
What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
They have the same middle name!
Okay, its February 14th, and that means only one thing... Just another sad reminder that I am single! I don't really care, but I can't believe the effort that people go to for such a manufactured day! $9.20 for a line in the paper... and yet people still spend the money. I do not know why, what if the person doesn't see it... well I guess its the thought that counts! But I suppose that some people want to show they feelings for other people (excuse me while I run to the toilet and vomit!!!)
This is is probably making me sound like a cruel heartless prick, but that's not true. (some people might disagree, screw you!) I have feelings, I just don't think that you should have to show them more on one day than any other day. I show my feelings toward people everyday of the year, not just on the one!
I love it how couples who have been together for awhile, decide not to get each other anything, when you know that they will. What's the point of saying your not going to get each other something, it wouldn't be a surprise if you got something, but it would be one hell of a surprise if you didn't. Just tell people, here we go, another Valentine's Day, time for me to buy you something that you will probably only use once!
Now this might be the sad cynical bitch in me talking, but I don't care. Valentine's Day is HIGHLY over-rated! Just another marketing scheme by big evil corporations, like Hallmark! Damn you Hallmark, don't you get enough money from your birthday cards, get well cards? But you still have to pick on the insecurity of people to make more money!! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Anyway, I gotta go, for Valentine's Day, I'm spending it with one of my first loves, the television set! CRAP! Desperate Housewives is starting!
Stay Tuned: The Creation of a Mega-Bitch
Where does the catcher sit for dinner?
Behind the plate.
Okay, an update on my sister. She hasn't torn any ligaments, she had the MRI scan this morning. Instead she has broken the back of her knee cap. This happened because:
- When she fell from doing the Limbo, she dislocated her knee.
- When she got back up from the ground, she popped her knee back in.
- In doing this, she has broken the back of her knee cap, and will probably need screws put in.
She is seeing a specialist soon, and at the moment she is on crutches. But as you know from the previous post, dad is also on crutches, hence the title of this post being, "House of Invalids".
In the more recent past, my mum has broken her toe, my brother has broken his finger, then you have dad and Rachael, so according to my brother, I'm apparently next in line... Lucky Me! I'm hoping for a good injury, if there is such a thing.
At the moment I'm currently at work on lunch, having just spent my whole morning at a graveyard at SYN, but I'm still soldiering on... Just wait till my driving lesson tonight...
Also, another quick thing, the feature post I have been plugging for a while, will happen on Thursday nights, so expect one every Thursday night... It may be early or late, so check on Fridays!
Stay Tuned: The Creation of a mega-bitch!
Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground?
Well, Well, Well
Filed: Family
Okay, so I get home from softball, and the first thing I think to do is to check my blog, its still here so I'm happy! I don't know where it could have gone, but meh!
Next thing, was to add a picture on to my profile, so you all know what I look like out there! Such a trauma, it took me forever, but I did it... As you can see.
Also I decided to add a thing in the content bar thingy, about the latest softball updates... As you can see, both the men and the women won, we were unstoppable today! As we are everyday.
Just a quick note, the men won 12-0, a massive win!
Stay Tuned: The creation of a mega-bitch!
Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.