For starters, the actors are usually always bad, the story lines are worse, and the overall quality of them suck. They always consist of a full on sex scene, which I only think perpetuates the fact that with gay guys the only thing they really want is sex, and are incapable of having a serious relationship. And the L word is usually said at the beginning of the relationship.
It makes me think. Why do gay relationships always start off so fast that they are practically married after a week, and why is sex such a major impact on them? You rarely see straight love stories, where the couple have had sex the first night, and then the next day they are planning to move in together, and are taking one another to meet the parents. Are they only portraying gay relationships like this because thats the way they really are?
Every relationship, straight or gay, has the honeymoon period at the start. Everything is perfect, you love the other person so much, and then after a while you just get used to it. If its the right person than everything that seems to fall into place, if not then you start to find things wrong with them. Then those things are just magnified until you can't do it anymore and you leave. Well I think thats what happens to me.
Maybe I'm just annoyed that even movies feel the need to make sure that a gay love story and a straight love story be completely different. Shouldn't they be portrayed the same, or am I living in some sort of fantasy world, distancing myself from the reality of what a gay relationship really is.
Maybe thats why I'm still single, I'm waiting for a love story to happen like 'Serendipity', but maybe that only happens to straight people.
Pictures from my sister's 21st.
Ignore the date on same, they are from my sister's camera, which for some reason thought we were in 2005, but we really were in the 80s :P
Today has been spent preparing for the party that is going to happen tonight. Over 5 hours of non-stop 80s music is lined up, with heaps of alcohol and food. So it should be a fun night. Now just counting down the hours till I can start drinking. Whats a respectable time to start consuming shit loads of booze?
Work has been pretty interesting, I move to a new store on Friday, completely brand new, being built as we speak, and in three months if all goes to plan, then I'll be moving up the retail ladder. Very exciting indeed. I do have to drive a bit, and I'm gonna miss the girls I'm working with at the moment, but I need to make some sacrifices if I wanna move up.
Had a couple of more sleepless nights, this time over something different, but as usual I'm not ready to talk about that stuff on here.
Anyway, I gotta go...
Hmmm... Midday can't be too early :P
Me in prep. I had just been run over by a group of kids on bicycles. I had totally forget about it until I saw the photo..jpg)
I've shown a couple of people this photo, and they can't believe how much I've changed. I don't think I've changed that much. Well apart from the fact that I'm older. Still, whenever I look in the mirror, I still don't see an adult staring back at me, but still some young kid. Makes me wonder if people perceive me like that too?
Sad thing is, when I look at this photo, it makes me only wanna go back to being this young kid again, and to not have to worry about anything, except for a group of kids on bikes.
A thing in the past is slowly starting to catch up with me. Well not that much in the past, but still last year was a little while ago.
Don't you hate it, when you realize too late that you had something really good, and no matter how hard you try to get it back you can't? I had something really good. Perhaps even too good, and I took it for granted. Its gone now, and it wasn't until recently that I've actually started missing it. I think its because I'm being faced with a situation which could potentially replace it.
Problem is, I don't think I can replace it. I don't really wanna lose those memories that I have, and don't think that I could even have better ones. It just sucks. Maybe I'm letting it get to my head just a little bit too much, but when you've had such strong feelings, its kinda hard to let them go. I can't turn them off like they are some sort of light switch.
So now I'm lost. I think I need to talk to people for help in trying to figure out what to do next. Only problem is, that if I open up to people and tell them what I think, they usually tend to laugh it off and think I'm joking. I've been putting up the facade of being a happy-go-lucky guy for a while now, and people don't really that take me that seriously. Do I have to do a total revamp of my character to get people to take me seriously? Only problem is that it opens me up to getting hurt again, which has been the major reason for me keeping my emotions kept away.
Do I attempt to replace this empty feeling? All I know is that if I could turn back time and stop certain things from happening, and not take things for granted, I would be a very happy person indeed.
I really need to sort this out. I'm sick of waking in the middle of the night, having the same thoughts running a marathon in my head. And is it sad, that even though it happened ages ago, I've only shed proper tears for it recently?
:(
An 18th Dress Up Party - Come as a Musical Character
Why else would I be wearing short shorts, pink stockings and eyeliner Only could mean that it was dress up party. If you were wondering what I'm dressed up as, I'm a bohemian from 'We Will Rock You!'.
It was a good night. I had a lot of fun dressing up, as I hadn't done that for awhile, and it was good to be a bit creative for once. My costumer was created in the last hour before the party. As per usual, I left it to the last minute, but I was pretty happy with the end result.
One bad thing about the night, was that I ended up in the spa, and I know some people have some photos, so slightly scared that that might come back to haunt me.
New Years Eve 07/08
Spent it with the girls, which is something I hadn't done for a couple of years. It was my first New Years since coming out to everyone that I hadn't spent it in a fag club. Kinda glad that I didn't end up there.
Started off with a quiet dinner at Becs, I baked a cake which I was quite proud of, even though the icing on it was a tad bit impromptu, but I still thought it tasted nice. Who know that something good could come out of something wrong happening. Semi impressed by my cooking abilities.
I was already drunk on the train ride there, so that was a lot of fun. A bit squished to get St Kilda on public transport, but once we got there I couldn't be happier we were there. It wasn't too packed and it was filled with some pretty cool people.
The night was full of heaps of shots and too much alcohol. With some people being kicked out and vomiting on the side of the street. Quite note, it wasn't me!
Also exciting at the promise that was made, so lets see how the next twelve months go.
They can't be any worse than the last twelve.