One + 1 = Thr3e

A thing in the past is slowly starting to catch up with me. Well not that much in the past, but still last year was a little while ago.

Don't you hate it, when you realize too late that you had something really good, and no matter how hard you try to get it back you can't? I had something really good. Perhaps even too good, and I took it for granted. Its gone now, and it wasn't until recently that I've actually started missing it. I think its because I'm being faced with a situation which could potentially replace it.

Problem is, I don't think I can replace it. I don't really wanna lose those memories that I have, and don't think that I could even have better ones. It just sucks. Maybe I'm letting it get to my head just a little bit too much, but when you've had such strong feelings, its kinda hard to let them go. I can't turn them off like they are some sort of light switch.

So now I'm lost. I think I need to talk to people for help in trying to figure out what to do next. Only problem is, that if I open up to people and tell them what I think, they usually tend to laugh it off and think I'm joking. I've been putting up the facade of being a happy-go-lucky guy for a while now, and people don't really that take me that seriously. Do I have to do a total revamp of my character to get people to take me seriously? Only problem is that it opens me up to getting hurt again, which has been the major reason for me keeping my emotions kept away.

Do I attempt to replace this empty feeling? All I know is that if I could turn back time and stop certain things from happening, and not take things for granted, I would be a very happy person indeed.

I really need to sort this out. I'm sick of waking in the middle of the night, having the same thoughts running a marathon in my head. And is it sad, that even though it happened ages ago, I've only shed proper tears for it recently?

:(