Okay, so Big Brother is back again. I did the ritual bitch session with my mum on the opening night. We did the whole, what is Gretel wearing? How on earth did that person get into Big Brother? Whose the fag? How's in the relationships?
I knew that I would get depressed watching it. Mainly because I had told myself that this year I was going to audition, I even got dressed and ready to go. But like most things, I chickened out and didn't go. So I sat and watched BB tonight and thought to myself, that could have been me...
I don't know if I would have made it through the audition process though. I'm hoping that they audition next year, if they do then I'll have to go, and I'll make sure that I get someone else to come with me so that I have to go...
Anyway, I don't know who I'm a fan of so far, no-one has really stuck out. I don't think I like any of them. :( I suppose we will just have to wait and see...
I knew it wouldn't take that long. I've unblocked. I feel the urge to blog again. How lucky for you all. A fair bit has happened since I got the blog. One of the thoughts that I've had running through my head is the one that I blogged about during the break, and its not what everyone thinks it refers to, but something else.
The past weekend was really fun. I had an awesome time. Paid for it today though, having spent the majority of the day in bed because I couldn't be bothered doing anything. This is what happened on my weekend, if you hold your mouse of the picture it gives you a quick description of whats
Caught up with the lovely Jo and Lou for some frolicking in the city. Got tempted by the lights of a pretty ferris wheel and were terrified when Louie thought it would be funny to rock the carriage. Also were the victim of a line pusher-iner who jumped the line by threatening to ask for a refund! I hate old people. Then met Meghan B. and saw Fuse. Drank lots of alcohol and had fun at Crown with builders tape.
Saturday Night
Went to B's 30th birthday party. It was a dress-up party, where everyone had to go as something starting with the letter B. Had heaps of fun and it just proves that you don't need alcohol to have fun. Had a ball dancing up a storm with my mum, and getting dressed up. I put the camp in Boot Camp instructor.
Do you ever feel like you are hanging on to something in the hope that it real return to how you remember it? Over the last couple of weeks I've started to realize that I do this with a lot of things.
Last night it hit me, and it hit me hard. I can't keep hoping that things well go back to how they were, how I want them to be. People move on, things change. I'm starting to learn that I can't change it.
I realized when I first moved out of home that I had a problem with hanging on to things. I'm a hoarder. The amount of crap that I had was ridiculous. It was rather scary. Things from primary school that I had made, or even wrote. I had saved old diaries, old school books.
Its not only at home where I do this, but also at work. I have every diary that I have ever used at work. I still have my training folder, complete with all the drawings I did in it and notes that I had wrote. I also have some writing pads that I use during calls in my drawers. I finally got rid of some of them, but it took some time.
Its a problem that I have, I'll openly admit it. But I need to do something about it, and with some things at the moment, I need to realize that I can't go back to what I want, I need to either get used to it, or leave it. Its a decision I don't want to have to make, but I think it made itself last night.
AdamMac