One + 1 = Thr3e

Apparently they can save your life, but they can also make you look like shit!!!

On a recent Peel Saturday night adventure, where else would I be on a Saturday night??? It was about 6:30, and I was making my way home, and started to feel a bit sleepy... Noticed that my car was slightly moving to the right when I didn't want it to... Noticed that my head was getting sore from hitting the steering wheel, okay so thats a lie but it just reminded me of a funny story; sitting on the train on the way to work, this guy was sitting in the bunch of seats in front of me, and do you know when people start to fall asleep, and their heads straight slowly falling forward, well this guy was doing that. But he musn't have been really tired, coz he'd snap out of it, and then start doing it again. I started to ignore it, and read my book, when all of a sudden, I hear this massively loud bang!! It was the guy in front of me, he had hit his head on the next set of chairs in front of him... He looked around and had this massive red mark on his forehead, which leads me to another funny story, but if I go into that, it will just lead into another story, and another... Just a couple of words to jog some of your memories, LouLou's in particalur. Practice History Exam!!

Anyway back to the original story! I pulled over at the servo/KFC near the westgate... pulled over and fell asleep.... 3 HOURS LATER!! I woke up!! I looked like I had woken from the dead!!! My hair was like it is when you wake up, boofy, I was a faint pale white, and I was all sweaty, because it was very hot in my car... Needless to say, it may have saved my life, but it didn't look like it if someone had of come past...

Note to self, no 15 powernaps if I'm on the way to somewhere, only on the way home!!! Unless maybe if I'm going to a fancy dress party, and I'm planning on looking like a zombie!

OMG!!!! It's been over a month since my last post!! Can you believe it?? Well, yes I can! The tale of the disappearing blogger was fun, but I'm over it, so make up the endings yourself, sorry but can't be fucked!!

So many things to talk about, so little time!!! I don't really know what to talk about, which isn't like me, because, well, if you know me, you know that all I ever do is talk, and talk, and talk, and well you get the idea!!! Of course I should love to talk, look at what my current occupation is, spending all day talking on the phone... with a headset!! You know the ones from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, one of those!!! So exciting!!

I think another thing I haven't done on this blog is talk about one of the biggest things that has happened to me over the last year!!! That being my coming out, so to speak, or in otherwise, letting people know that I'm gay!!

There was a bit of drama when I first came out, but hopefully I think that that should all be over now, if you read back through a couple of my blogs, you may be able to pick this up... I don't think I've actually taken the time on my blog to say... I'M GAY!!! But there, now thats sorted out, I wanna give everyone a quick little introduction to the gay world!!!

Adam Mac introduces the Gay World:

Where to start from?? So many things could be covered... Anyone's who has watched Queer As Folk, will know a bit about the gay world, and anyone who hasn't, well I've got the first two seasons of the UK version on DVD if you wanna come and watch them with me!

The People:

Before I start talking about the gay world I think that I should talk a bit about the different type of people that inhabit this little world. There a quite a lot of different types of people, for starters you have your lesbians and gay guys, and you may even have a couple of bi-people as well, and there seems to be a growing amount of straight people attending gay clubs, which I'll get into later. Now in the straight catergory, the main type of people that you have who are straight are females, which hang around gay guys, also know as a "Fag Hag" or a "Bangle". A classic example of a fag hag is Grace out of Will & Grace. You also sometimes have a couple of straight guys there, who are brought along by the bangles, and they usually have a good time as well. The next group I'll cover are the lesbians. Now, before all you straight guys out there go "YAY!! Lesbians", I wanna let you know that they aren't all glamourous and gorgeous in real life. The ones that the straight guys are in love with are known as "Lipstick Lesbians". Now the lipsticks are the types of girls who you wouldn't know are lesbians if you saw them on the street. The look after themselves, they wear make-up and they are somewhat good looking... Okay maybe fucken hot, but I don't pay that much attention!! Now the oppposite to the lipstick is the "Bull Dike", which doesn't sound pretty, but thats mainly because they aren't. These are the types of lesbians who aren't attractive, and they usually have shaved heads, and yeah... as I said, not pretty!!! But credit to them, for having the guts to shave their heads, I know for one that I couldn't do it!!! Now the last bit of people that inhabit this magically place, are the gay guys themselves. They these guys can be put into a lot of smaller sub-catergories. There are the nice, normal decent ones, the old fat ones, the drag queens, the drug fucks, the sluts and the queens. Now each of the is a bit different, but all have the same in common, they are gay! I won't go into much detail about them now, but just letting you know what the other types are, as I'm going to go into a bit more in the next couple of sections of this post.

Rivarly Fags Vs Dikes:

It's a long standing battle, Lesbians VS Poofters. I think this was brought into the public by a Will & Grace episode, where Jack has to try and work with the lesbians to present a presentation to a bunch of police officers. Now some people when seeing this may have thought that it was a bit extreme, but you know what, its like that, if not worse! I don't know what it is, but I think for some reason each thinks that they are more important then the other, and one is more homosexual then the other, I don't know. I haven't really coped the whole lesbian hating me thing, except for once, when a group of friends and myself were walking back to our car from Peel, and then as we were getting closer to Glassy, a bunch of dikes, took much pleasure in asking, "How was your night at the Peel, girls?" Now I was fairly new at the stage so didn't reply, but a the people I were with, took this like a bull seeing a red flag and the bitchiness happened. Before you get the wrong idea about this whole lesbian VS gay guys things, the majority of fighting is done via bitchy comments, the hair pulling and the scratching happens later. Only joking, its mainly a non-violent battle, so there is no need to be scared if you see a gay guy starting on a lesbian, the only protectional advice I could offer you is to maybe block your ears!!

The Clubs:

Majority of gay clubs are located on Commercial Rd. Which is basically the gay capital of Melbourne. But there are a couple of other clubs located around Melbourne. The main about the clubs, just like anywhere, is that it doesn't matter what type of place it is, but if you have a big group of people, then its always fun. Or even if your there with one friend, you'll still have a good time!! I'll give you a quick description of each of this places and the types of things that they offer.
Diva: Diva is a small little club on Commercial Rd. Diva is fun, its more of an older place, like the people in there are a bit older, but its still fun. You can dance on the bar, or even on the stage there. It is a 2 level establishment, with the upstairs area being open mainly on Fridays and Saturdays. Majority of the nights, you'll find a drag show, except for at the moments on Thursday night, its Gay Idol. The wildcard show is next Thursday, in case any of you are interested. Now another thing about Diva, its the place where I met my Aunty. Well not my real Aunty but by drag Aunty Ally. You can see her and Maddison on a Wednesday nite!!! The type of music played there is mainly 80's, 90's and today! All your faggy classics, Y.M.C.A. NO COVER CHARGE!!
XChange: XChange is mainly for the younger guys, and its quite a cool place to go. I've only been there twice and one of the times I was there, I was so drunk I can't remember a lot of it, so I can't really make judgements on the place. Its also on Commercial Rd. One of the good things about X is that on Saturday nights, Hi-5 (the drag show, not the kids show) is on. Its really, really, good. One more bit of advice, the lights in there are mainly the flurorescent lights, so wearing white colours will make you stand out more!! I think that they play new stuff but not really sure. COVER CHARGE!!
Market: On Commercial Rd, never been there so can't really talk about it. Mainly a dance place. COVER CHARGE!!
Peel: Probablly my favourite of all the gay clubs, why?? because its so slutty!! Now, before you get the wrong idea, I don't go slutting myself around Peel, I like it coz I can laugh at other people trying to do it! Drag shows are every Wednesday and Sunday and this place is open till dawn, I think! Or at least I know I've been there till dawn for a couple of weeks!! They play awesome music, mainly pop, but a bit from the past and a bit from the present. So much fun. Just be warned that you can't wear open toed shoes!!! The Peel is in collingwood, on the corner or Peel St, and Wellington St. NO COVER CHARGE!!

That about sums up a bit about the gay world! I know its not a lot and there is so much that I haven't covered, but at least I posted!!!

Gay clubbing is fun, and I think that everyone should do it at least once!! So, I'm usually there most weekends, I go with a straight girl-friend, so if you wanna come, or organise a big group, let me know!!!

Cheers

Adam Mac