One + 1 = Thr3e

It's the end...

2009-09-15T22:36:00.002+10:00

Time to close down this blog.... Think its come to the point where i can't really add anymore to this, so time to start off afresh.

So closing down this chapter of my life, so I can move on with the next.

Cheers,

AdamMac

UncleMac

2009-02-09T14:54:00.003+11:00

Hmmmm a picture is worth a thousand words, isn't it?

09

2009-01-01T22:20:00.003+11:00

So it's been a while since my last post. Well almost six months now. Surprisingly a lot has changed. Whether it be for good that is yet to be seen.

I have a new job, moved away from the pharmacy and now working in clothing retail. Completely different and absolutely loving it. Long hours but its with good people so it's all good. Also working back in the city, so that's a bit different, seeing that we have heaps of customers coming in.

On the boy front, well lets not even talk about this. I will briefly sum up on here that I'm single and can't see that changing anytime soon. I feel that I've lost quite a few connections to the 'gay world' and finding it hard to even fit in anymore. I feel awkward when I go out, mainly because I don't have that many people to go out with anymore.

I've learnt that in the past three weeks, I've invested so much time in believing things about certain people and taking certain things for granted. I've learnt that I don't treat people correctly and as a result have lost some pretty close friendships and am slowly paying the price for it. I assumed that I could just manipulate things to how I wanted them to be and sadly learnt that I really can't do that. Manipulate probably isn't the best word to use, well not manipulate people, but try and plan a future without really consulting other people. This probably makes no sense and paints me as the evil person, but at the moment I just need to get it out.

My mum is concerned that I'm spending too much time alone. I'm finding too much solitude in my books, so all I end up doing is working and then coming home and lying in bed and reading. It helps me escape from having to deal with certain situations. But found that with no reading to do, I just start to sleep. Work has gotten me quite busy as well that I have no time to think about stuff while at work, so I don't really give myself a chance to deal with all situations.

As for my blog, it was something I loved t0 do, something that I would always be happy to add to, but lately I've found that with any writing I've chosen to do, the audience was never quite right. I wanted to be able to vent and write everything that I could on here, but I was scared that it would hurt people's feelings, or that what I was written could be misunderstood.

I think in 09 I need to be more open with feelings, because the more I've kept them inside, the more negative effect they seem to have on me. I also promise that I'll try and keep a more upbeat tone on the page, seeing that I don't wanna be known as some sort of emo kid on here. And being 23, I don't think that I can be really classified as a kid anymore.

Another Day

2008-07-16T20:03:00.001+10:00

I turned 23. No idea what to say about it really. Haven't really organised anything and don't really feel the need to anymore. Went out with some of the girls on the Thursday. Went out fagging on Saturday night, which I was really looking forward to doing. Thankfully some people turned up that I knew, otherwise that could have been pretty depressing.

Well now I just got to wait for next year.

Positive Outlook

2008-06-30T17:08:00.001+10:00

I need to change my outlook. I've been thinking very negatively lately, and need to change that around. Although its a little easier to do than say. And with all the stuff thats been happening lately, I feel like I'm just getting engulfed in it.

Had a couple of days off work so its been good just to relax and do nothing at home. Although I really need to get some stuff organised because I'm sick of having done nothing to show for my day.

So many things to talk about, but I don't think that I can yet. Maybe one day soon.

Verging on tears

2008-06-18T21:19:00.002+10:00

Almost broke down today. Middle of the store. But managed to keep that normal 'adammac' attitude going. Don't think anyone noticed.

Lost.

2008-06-16T15:04:00.002+10:00

Everyone has to make some pretty big decisions in their life. These reflect on the type of person that we are, and where we want to go in life. Have you ever felt like everything was going fine, and then all of a sudden it all becomes fuzzy? You lose track of that clear path that you were traveling on, and feel like you are just walking through thick fog.

I thought that all the choices that I've made up until now were quite good. I thought my path, albeit a bit long, was clear. I knew what I wanted to know, and I thought I was on the track to get there. Now its feels like the mother of all fog has decided to just follow me around all day and rain on my parade.

I just wish that I could start all over again. Go back in time and change a couple of decisions that I made. Why can't we just have the option of starting again? Starting afresh. I think all the consequences from my choices are just hitting me now, rather than being affected by them when they happened. Like they've all snowballed together and have decided to hit me now.

Sadly I feel like I'm going nowhere, that the fog is just growing darker and darker, and there is no calm blue sky on the horizon.

The List.

2008-06-09T17:02:00.002+10:00

Cold hearted.
Emotionally retarded.
Relationship-phobe.
Fucked in the head.
Incapable of feelings.
Anti-romantic.
Single and lonely forever.
Detached.
Heartbreaker.
Headfucker.
Guarded.

Have I forgotten anything?

By the way, these are just ways I've been described in the last couple of months.

33 Days.

2008-06-05T20:11:00.002+10:00

Long absence. Been working like crazy. Ummm also started writing. I know its not my thing, but had an idea come into my head, and the only way to clear it is to type it or write it out. Still in the beginning stages, but kinda excited on the way things are panning out.

Work has kinda taken out a lot out of me. But I'm still loving every bit of it. Couldn't be more excited, and actually enjoy going to work everyday. The people are awesome, and yeah.

This week has been pretty crappy, probably one of the worst weeks I've had this year. It just seems that the bad news just doesn't stop coming. Well fingers crossed that it does, otherwise I don't know what I'd do.

...

2008-05-04T11:20:00.002+10:00

Its a good thing tears never show in the pouring rain
As if a good thing ever could make up for all the pain
There'll be no last chance, I promise to never mess it up again
Just a sweet pain of watching your back as you walk
As I watching you walk away

And now you're gone, there's like an echo in my head
And I remember every word you said

...

His way with words...

2008-04-05T21:11:00.002+11:00

Slight addiction is happening at the moment. Addicted to his writing. Can't seem to get enough of it. The wit, humour and social commentary is awe inspiring.

I'd already had a taste of it, but it didn't really grab me like it has now. To the point where I finish one book, that same day another is purchased. And I'm not reading them slow or anything. Becoming one slightly expensive habit. Fortunately, he doesn't have that many books.

Talking about Ben Elton. Dead Famous is hilarious and one of the best whodunits out there! And it mixed my two loves; Big Brother and a mystery thriller. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.

... has got me wanting more

Changing a tyre is bad enough...

2008-03-27T08:27:00.002+11:00

Driving home on Wednesday night after work was just like a normal drive home. I was just about to pull onto the Western Ring Road, had my tunes pumping - I think it was Janet Jackson Rock With U - and heard this weird sound coming from behind me. I turned back, thinking that it was a truck that was riding my arse, like they always do on the roads, but I was wrong.

The sound got louder, and I started to lose control of the steering, so I did what any sensible driver would do, kept driving. Now honestly if you believe that I'm very disappointed at your current views of me! The first thing I did was pull over. Switched on my hazards, and put Janet on pause. Got out of my car, and noticed that my back tyre was smoking, not a good sign. It had blown, so I wasn't a happy chappy.

I then had to sort through my boot to get my spare out, and the jack thing. After a couple of frantic phone calls to the folks, getting a quick refresher in tyre changing, I was right. Had a little trouble loosing the bolts, but thats mainly because I'm weak and have little upper body strength. But after a while, and some helpful hints from mum, it was done.

Now I would have been fine with changing the tyre under normal circumstances, but no, someone out there obviously hates me. It was pouring down, trucks were flying past spraying water all over me, and I was kneeling on the side of a highway. I was also in my adorable work uniform, so the first thing I did was change out of that, seeing I didn't want it to get permanent black marks on it. So I was standing in the rain for about 15 minutes, in a bright yellow singlet and black pants. At least people would have been able to see me. I later found a shirt in my car, and quickly put that on, so I wasn't going to die of pneumonia.

It also crossed my mind what would happen if someone had of pulled over to help. Would my knight in shining armor come to my rescue? Fix my car and then whisk me away in his car to his mansion and then go on a tour around the world in his private yet. Clearly that didn't happen, but a boy can still dream. I wouldn't if someone had of pulled over, would I have politely asked them to leave as I was right, even though clearly for the first fifteen minutes, I looked like a total goose trying to loosen the bolts. I still think I would have asked them to leave.

I think that changing the tyre was my way of proving to myself, that I was actual capable to doing something somewhat 'manly' by myself. So I'm glad I managed to accomplish my goal, even though it took a little bit longer than expected, but still it was raining and I was soaking wet, so give me some credit.

... even when its pouring down and you're soaking wet and never done it before!

Chocolate; my best friend...

2008-03-24T17:20:00.005+11:00

Chocolate is great. Chocolate is evil. I have many a great memories of chocolate, but I also have many bad memories about chocolate. With Easter just comes even more chocolate than you can imagine. My worst experience with chocolate probably came a couple of weeks ago though.

I had had a pretty big night out. It was my first night out in a while, and I had a bit to drink. I was my usual happy self. I had been dancing like a knob on stage, stumbling around the club looking for the people that I had rocked up with. A typical drunken adammac night.

When I got home, I thought that the best thing that I could do was get some chocolate and eat it before I fell asleep. Boy was I wrong.

I grabbed five chomp bars, my eyes were clearly bigger than my stomach. Went upstairs and jumped into bed. Only to fall asleep before even eating the first one. Now all of them were out of the wrappers as we currently have a 5 kilo bag of them at our house. Don't ask why, its better not to know...

As you can imagine, my body heat mixed with the heat of my room, made the chocolate melt. When I woke up in the morning, I was covered in chocolate as was my bedspread. Now I'm not usually one to complain about being covered in chocolate, but only when there is someone else there to lick it off. Sadly there was no one else here.

All that was there was my seedy hungover, waking up to find a mysterious brown substance all over my body and my sheets. You an only imagine the first thing I thought.

... and my worst enemy!

Words...

2008-03-15T19:39:00.004+11:00

I'm not a victim of clichés
I don't believe in soul mates
Happy endings only one
I met you and all that changed
I had a taste and you're still sitting on the tip of my tongue

You were mine
Somewhere in time
I'll look for you first
In my next life

There's always one that gets away
The one that sneaks up on you that slips away
In a closed off corner of my heart
I'll always see your face

The one that got away

... are sometimes the only way to show emotion

Love at first sight...

2008-03-13T19:14:00.003+11:00

I'm in love. I stumbled across a YouTube account, where the guy is a video DJ. Basically making megamixes for certain artists. Not only do they mix the music but also the video from the certain music clips that that artists has. My favourite would probably have to be the Janet Jackson one, and the Rihanna one.

Check out his account and see for yourself. He has done some for other artists as well!

Enjoy.

...and sound!

Common Courtesy...

2008-03-13T18:42:00.003+11:00

With the new job, comes the drive that I have to do every morning. I don't mind it, I like to drive, apart from the fact that I still haven't gotten my CD player replaced. It just means now that I have to listen to my music on my mobile, not an issue. The thing that probably irritates me the most, is the attitude of people on the road.

I'm sure that I've talked about how I've wanted to change the typical signals that drivers use on here, but I can't remember which post it was on. But there is really no need to try and do that anymore, seeing that no one uses signals anymore.

I see it as only polite to signal thanks when someone lets you merge into their lane. A simple acknowledgment would be nice. Just a little thing to say thanks. That never happens anymore, it seems the only signals that people know how to make, are the 'what-the-hell-are-you-doing' arm lifty up thing, and the traditional bird.

Its just a little thing that irritates me on my drive to work, so if you are on the road don't forget to signal a little sign of thanks, it will brighten up that persons day.

... is non existent!

When you wake up...

2008-03-03T07:59:00.003+11:00

My dreams have been so vivid lately. Not only that, but I've been able to recall what they were about quite easily. Usually its quite the opposite. I never remember what they are, and if I do, it might be once every couple of months.

I used to think that I wasn't really a dreamer. I've always heard that its people with a huge imagination that always dream. I think in part that is true, but majority of dreams are based on something that has happened and putting a slight twist on it. When I was younger, I had such a great imagination, I could enter a whole other world instantly, and jump backwards and forwards. I remember stories that I would write about, and things that I would do which would help prepare to dream that night.

My imagination then helped me escape from everything. Not that there was really anything I needed to escape from. I think moving schools so early into prep made me feel isolated. I remember at the new school, when we were sitting on the floor, I would make a pretend moat around myself. Anyway, enough about my insecurities of a child, this post was supposed to be about my dreams.

It's pretty weird with the dreams I've had lately. They've all felt so real. When I've tried to recall them, I'm been able to do with ease. The freakiest dream I've had was where I got killed.

I was driving out of a car park from work one late night, and I as I was going to leave the underground car park, the guys surrounded the car. Then all of a sudden I heard a gun shot, heard the window of the driver's seat smash, and felt the sharp pain in my temple as the bullet entered my skull. My one and only reaction, was to send a text message, with my phone which was in my left hand. I was writing a message to my mum, 'I love you', but died before I had the chance to send it. The weird thing was, was I could feel everything like I was observing it, and picturing how it felt like. Feeling the bullet enter me, and losing all sense of feelings, having everything drain away from me.

Like I said before, it all felt like it was real. Mainly because everything in this dream was real. It was my car that I was in. I had my current phone, my mum names was stored as it is now*. I recognised the car park as the one at highpoint. That could be the only thing that doesn't make it real. Seeing that I don't work at highpoint. But everything else was completely accurate.

I wonder what the next couple of nights will bring.

*Private joke between me and mum.

... it's all back to normal again.

Fact or Fiction...

2008-02-28T07:30:00.000+11:00

... confusion of reality and fantasy!

Call me a sadist, or someone who can't dream, but it is really beginning to annoy me how some gay movies are just so fake and unrealistic.

For starters, the actors are usually always bad, the story lines are worse, and the overall quality of them suck. They always consist of a full on sex scene, which I only think perpetuates the fact that with gay guys the only thing they really want is sex, and are incapable of having a serious relationship. And the L word is usually said at the beginning of the relationship.

It makes me think. Why do gay relationships always start off so fast that they are practically married after a week, and why is sex such a major impact on them? You rarely see straight love stories, where the couple have had sex the first night, and then the next day they are planning to move in together, and are taking one another to meet the parents. Are they only portraying gay relationships like this because thats the way they really are?

Every relationship, straight or gay, has the honeymoon period at the start. Everything is perfect, you love the other person so much, and then after a while you just get used to it. If its the right person than everything that seems to fall into place, if not then you start to find things wrong with them. Then those things are just magnified until you can't do it anymore and you leave. Well I think thats what happens to me.

Maybe I'm just annoyed that even movies feel the need to make sure that a gay love story and a straight love story be completely different. Shouldn't they be portrayed the same, or am I living in some sort of fantasy world, distancing myself from the reality of what a gay relationship really is.

Maybe thats why I'm still single, I'm waiting for a love story to happen like 'Serendipity', but maybe that only happens to straight people.

Photo Evidence...

2008-02-21T20:24:00.002+11:00

Yes I'm a drunk.
Pictures from my sister's 21st.
Ignore the date on same, they are from my sister's camera, which for some reason thought we were in 2005, but we really were in the 80s :P

It's time to begin...

2008-02-16T12:08:00.002+11:00

Today has been spent preparing for the party that is going to happen tonight. Over 5 hours of non-stop 80s music is lined up, with heaps of alcohol and food. So it should be a fun night. Now just counting down the hours till I can start drinking. Whats a respectable time to start consuming shit loads of booze?

Work has been pretty interesting, I move to a new store on Friday, completely brand new, being built as we speak, and in three months if all goes to plan, then I'll be moving up the retail ladder. Very exciting indeed. I do have to drive a bit, and I'm gonna miss the girls I'm working with at the moment, but I need to make some sacrifices if I wanna move up.

Had a couple of more sleepless nights, this time over something different, but as usual I'm not ready to talk about that stuff on here.

Anyway, I gotta go...

Hmmm... Midday can't be too early :P

I'm bringing 80's back...

2008-02-07T20:23:00.000+11:00

Disclaimer: Video contains short shorts, leggings and headband. Also keep in mind that this is a costume, not my everyday wear... I'm not THAT gay...

Also keep in mind the shorts were bought to match my sister's top, and thats the only reason why I'm getting so into it, for my sister!

Changed?

2008-02-06T08:18:00.000+11:00

Me in prep. I had just been run over by a group of kids on bicycles. I had totally forget about it until I saw the photo.

I've shown a couple of people this photo, and they can't believe how much I've changed. I don't think I've changed that much. Well apart from the fact that I'm older. Still, whenever I look in the mirror, I still don't see an adult staring back at me, but still some young kid. Makes me wonder if people perceive me like that too?

Sad thing is, when I look at this photo, it makes me only wanna go back to being this young kid again, and to not have to worry about anything, except for a group of kids on bikes.

Can you miss something enough that you can't replace it?

2008-01-30T18:21:00.002+11:00

A thing in the past is slowly starting to catch up with me. Well not that much in the past, but still last year was a little while ago.

Don't you hate it, when you realize too late that you had something really good, and no matter how hard you try to get it back you can't? I had something really good. Perhaps even too good, and I took it for granted. Its gone now, and it wasn't until recently that I've actually started missing it. I think its because I'm being faced with a situation which could potentially replace it.

Problem is, I don't think I can replace it. I don't really wanna lose those memories that I have, and don't think that I could even have better ones. It just sucks. Maybe I'm letting it get to my head just a little bit too much, but when you've had such strong feelings, its kinda hard to let them go. I can't turn them off like they are some sort of light switch.

So now I'm lost. I think I need to talk to people for help in trying to figure out what to do next. Only problem is, that if I open up to people and tell them what I think, they usually tend to laugh it off and think I'm joking. I've been putting up the facade of being a happy-go-lucky guy for a while now, and people don't really that take me that seriously. Do I have to do a total revamp of my character to get people to take me seriously? Only problem is that it opens me up to getting hurt again, which has been the major reason for me keeping my emotions kept away.

Do I attempt to replace this empty feeling? All I know is that if I could turn back time and stop certain things from happening, and not take things for granted, I would be a very happy person indeed.

I really need to sort this out. I'm sick of waking in the middle of the night, having the same thoughts running a marathon in my head. And is it sad, that even though it happened ages ago, I've only shed proper tears for it recently?

:(

Two big nights to end the year...

2008-01-22T18:24:00.000+11:00

An 18th Dress Up Party - Come as a Musical Character
Why else would I be wearing short shorts, pink stockings and eyeliner Only could mean that it was dress up party. If you were wondering what I'm dressed up as, I'm a bohemian from 'We Will Rock You!'.
It was a good night. I had a lot of fun dressing up, as I hadn't done that for awhile, and it was good to be a bit creative for once. My costumer was created in the last hour before the party. As per usual, I left it to the last minute, but I was pretty happy with the end result.
One bad thing about the night, was that I ended up in the spa, and I know some people have some photos, so slightly scared that that might come back to haunt me.

New Years Eve 07/08
Spent it with the girls, which is something I hadn't done for a couple of years. It was my first New Years since coming out to everyone that I hadn't spent it in a fag club. Kinda glad that I didn't end up there.
Started off with a quiet dinner at Becs, I baked a cake which I was quite proud of, even though the icing on it was a tad bit impromptu, but I still thought it tasted nice. Who know that something good could come out of something wrong happening. Semi impressed by my cooking abilities.
I was already drunk on the train ride there, so that was a lot of fun. A bit squished to get St Kilda on public transport, but once we got there I couldn't be happier we were there. It wasn't too packed and it was filled with some pretty cool people.
The night was full of heaps of shots and too much alcohol. With some people being kicked out and vomiting on the side of the street. Quite note, it wasn't me!
Also exciting at the promise that was made, so lets see how the next twelve months go.

They can't be any worse than the last twelve.

I'm back.

2008-01-12T09:46:00.000+11:00

Break over. Online again.

Things changed.

New appreciations. Less dependencies.

New goals. Different direction. More realistic.
Delay study. Welcome travel.

People missed. Deeper friendships. Missed memories. Missed emotions.
Regret decisions. No closure.

New Blog. New Name. New Layout. New Feel. New Everything.

:)

2007-12-08T10:06:00.000+11:00

Things are getting quite good.

Moved out of the house. Yes it was a bit early then the lease, and yes I'm gonna be out of pocket a little bit, but at least I'll have my freedom back and feel welcome in the home I live in. I'm glad other people are stoked at my apparent stupidity though.

The unpacking is being tedious, but that was to be expected. Loving the fact that my housemates share a common love for my favourite wine and dvds. Maybe thats the reason why its taking so long to unpack.

Have also started seeing someone. Well not started, its been a couple of weeks now and we are official, so I pretty much should say I have a boyfriend (still trying to get used to that). He is great, heaps in common, and I enjoy spending time with him, so woohoo!

Work is work. Who knew working retail could be so fun!

Only really had one piece of bad news during the week, but trying to come to grips with that. Hating the fact that my dream for my future is getting flaunted in front of my face, but I'm sure that in 12 months time it will all be good. Well fingers crossed anyway.

Still no internet connection at home, me being lazy and can't be arsed getting it connected. But will have it up and running shortly.

Can we learn from the past?

2007-12-01T07:03:00.000+11:00

Remember this?

Well the six months are up. I received it a couple of days ago, and I did anything but laugh. I thought it would be funny, for me to go back and read about it, but sadly, I think I barely managed to smile reading it.

Seeing that I had it on public, I might as well show you all what I wrote to myself 6 months ago.

Dear AdamMac,

Well in a couple of days I start my very new job, seeing thats its only a secondment for 6 months, I'll wonder if I'm still going to be in this position after the six months?? Will I have moved up or forced to go back down???

I'm so nervous about starting the new job! I'm scared that systems won't be ready, and I'll have no idea what I'm talking about... I met my team today for the first time, so it should be heaps of fun.

I'm gonna miss the road so much! I feel like its become a part of me, and I don't want to miss anyone in it....

Are you still with him*? We fight occasionally, but hopefully its still good, or has something else happened and are you seeing someone else... It must also be close to your lease running out. Have you resolved all your issues? Is everything good now?? Where are you going to move too?? The city still, possibly with friends, or out to the burbs??

Don't forget about your dog named Patchy, oh and do you still keep in contact with Patchy from the US?

Whats your love life like? Did he threaten with flowers like that dream of yours? Or with chocolate??

Has Rachael moved out yet? How are mum and dad going??? Are you a gym bunny too, probably with a tan and everything...

Well I hope all is well, and don't forget the old AdamMac, scared of change, typing away in his bed! Do you still have a blog?

Cheers,

You 6 months ago!

By the way, I removed the name into be nice and stuff like that.

What do you think. I read back and think of all the things that have happened in the last 6 months. I've changed a bit as a person, and I know that the next 12 months is really going to be shaping the way that I am in the future. And I must admit it, I'm slightly scared.

Alcoholic?

2007-11-27T20:40:00.000+11:00

I recently did a quiz on here, which was to see whether or not I was an alcoholic. Now I don’t think I am. Mainly for the fact that I don’t feel the need to crack open a can in the morning. Some may see that my need to drink sometimes can be a tad on the alcoholic side, seeing that in the past couple of months, if something has happened, than I’ve turned to the friends, hit the clubs and down the drinks. I think that sometimes it’s what some people do to deal with issues, so its not really an alcoholic trait.

I recently also got asked on by one of my friends whether or not all of my pictures have some sort of alcoholic drink in them. The only reason why it may look like this is because Jo usually becomes a photo whore when we go out. And when we go out, we usually drink.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t need to drink when I go out to have a good time. I’ve gone out plenty of times and not drunk and had a ball. I think that after a couple of drinks, I lose a couple of inhibitions and may be a little bit more fun.

But I think thats the same with everyone really.

Loss

2007-11-18T21:35:00.000+11:00

I’ve had my first loss of someone in what I would call me immediate family. My childhood pet, my tabby cat, was hit by a car and had to be put down today.

Seeing that I don’t live at home anymore, it wasn’t until I went to go baby-sit my little brother and sister that I found out. No one was home, so I waited to get home, and when they got home, mum had red eyes and it was quite clear that she had been crying. In her hands was a pink blanket that had been folded over a couple of times. I had no idea what was going on, and asked mum what had happening.

All she had to say was Tabby, and I knew exactly what had happened. Apparently she had been hit by a car, and she had gone under the house because she was sore, and when cats get hurt badly, they tend to want to be alone. Mum found her this morning, and all she was doing was crying. They had no other choice to put her down.

When mum first said it, it didn’t really sink in. I’ve been extremely lucky when it comes to deaths in my family, I only really remember one, and that was my nan. It was the first funeral I ever had to attend for a family member, and I never wanted to do it again.

Tabby was my favourite cat. I grew up with her. When I used to live at home, Tabby would sleep in my bed, either at my feet, or she would sometimes manage to sneak under the blankets and sleep right next to me. She was affectionate and would always come to you and brush against your leg, or just fall to sleep in her lap.

She was old and she had been through so much. She had lived a long life, and deserved to die a more dignified death. To be hit by a car is just tragic, we always thought that she was going to die of old age. I always thought she was going to be around. Whenever I would visit the family, I would always see Tabby. Whenever I would stay at the house, Tabby would always sleep with me. She was just a part of this house, and she always will be.

I will always miss you Tabby.

Who needs more sex?

2007-11-10T09:18:00.000+11:00

One of my latest facebook addictions has been an application called ‘No Mercy’. Where basically you get asked a questions, and given two friends, one of which you have to pick that fits the question most, and the best thing about it is that it is all anonymous! The other good thing about it is that it is pretty harsh and bitchy questions. For example, who would you push off a cliff, and who do you hate more? Now the title of the post should make a little more sense.

Apparently, amongst my friends, I need more sex. What’s even better, in the whole facebook community, I’m ranked at 8^th for most votes on needing more sex. Now seeing that for more clueless I’m ranked 207,349^th, I'm pretty high up there. As you can imagine, I’m not that excited about it. I knew already that that was the case, but now I have my friend’s opinions to back it up as well and all of Facebook know about it now.

I've always wanted to be able to just go out and pick up, and have wondered what it would be like. Never have I put it into practice though*. I'm still proud of the fact that I've never taken a random home, or gone home with one.

But it's not only facebook which highlights the fact that I need more sex. At my place of work, I regularly have school kids come in and buying packets of condoms. Yes, I just said packets, yesterday I had a year 10 kid come in and he bought two packets. I'm hoping that they are only buying them to blow up and mess around with, not actually use them to mess around!

So its nice to know, that everywhere around me, there are signs that I need more sex!

*Read about someone who has, here.

AdamMac is Le Tanned

2007-11-05T22:18:00.000+11:00

I was sick of being pale and white. I was sick of looking like a ghost in some of the photos that were taken of me and my friends. So I decided to do something about it.

First it started off with some fake tan. I think this was one of the biggest mistakes that I could have made. Instead of turning a lovely tanned colour, I went a slightly orange colour. Which was mainly highlighted by the extra orange bits between my fingers and on my ankles. Lets just say after that experience, I was staying away from fake tan for a very long time.

Next came the solarium, which I had been saying I would go to for a long time, but never really got around to doing it. Finally the wife took me with her, and from that day on I was hooked. My goal was to be brown before my birthday, so I went quite regularly and was actually surprised at how tanned I was starting to look.

Because I was so white, at the start, they weren't sure how many minutes I should be going in for at a time, so I started going for only 4 minutes, just to see if I burnt or had a reaction or something like that. Needless to say, I didn't have one, and I started going in for longer sessions. Now I go in for like 10 minutes at a time.

Due to my previous experiences with fake tan, see above, I held off from using any sort of bronzer or tingle cream while using the solarium. Then one day, one of the girls asked why I was just using the normal one, and she managed to convince me to try one with a bronzer in it. Thankfully there was no orange marks on me, so I continue to use it.

I haven't been in a couple of weeks, and I think thats why I've become a bit stressed lately. Going to the solarium makes me feel all relaxed, because it forces me to chill out for at least the 10 minutes. So when I go, its not really just for the tan, but also my own mental wellbeing*.

Because I haven't been in a couple of weeks, I've lost my tan line. I was pretty devastated when I saw that. So I'm going back tomorrow morning. Below is some pictures of me before and after. Obviously the ones on the left are pre-solarium, and the ones on the right are after.

*As you can tell, I've tried to justify my solarium addiction, even though it probably isn't true!

I'm not a Spectator

2007-11-04T08:39:00.000+11:00

Softball is something thats in my blood. All my family play, and I can remember playing it ever since I can remember anything! This year I decided to take the year off from playing and I'm just coaching the women's team. Yesterday was going to be the first game that I had watched the men play this season, without actually playing myself.

The game started and a couple of minutes in, I noticed that an A Grade Men's game didn't have a line umpire. Now I haven't umpired for ages, and I knew the umpire doing the game, so I figured that I would go help them out. Not because I'm a nice caring person, but because I couldn't stand to watch them play, if I wasn't on the field. I knew that if I watched, I would wanna play, and I didn't want to test my already failing self control. So I then picked up a clicker and went and umpired the men's game.

I must admit though, that I did catch a couple of glimpses of the game while I was line umpiring, but tried very hard to ignore it. Well I'm about five weeks in, so lets hope I can last the next 15 or so. Whenever I am near softball, this evil competitive gene comes out, so I just gotta try and keep that for the women's game and hopefully it will go away for the mens.

As for the women's team, we are traveling along quite smoothly. Ok, so I might stop being modest for a second... We are DOMINATING! So far we haven't dropped a game yet, and as of last week, so not including yesterday's win, 10-5, we are on drop of the ladder with 1000%. With a whooping 40 points for and 4 points against. But its still early in on the season, we've still got a long way to go until we go for the flag!

I'll keep you all updated on the progress of my self control, and women's winning spree.

Smile

2007-11-02T08:39:00.000+11:00

I got slightly embarrassed yesterday. While serving a customer, when I gave her her change, she said to me that I have a good smile, and that it was good to see people smiling for a chance. Needless to say, I went slightly red, sheepishly said thank you, and became over self conscious of my smile from that second on.

I didn't know what to make of it. Was she trying to say I had something in my teeth in a polite bitchy kind of way? Was she trying to say that maybe I'm smiling too much and look retarded? Or maybe she was actually being sincere and did mean it. Seeing that I didn't chase the woman down and ask her why she said it, I'll never know what she meant by it.

I kinda think that she was referring to the over-smiling. Working in retail, I pretty much have a smile on my face all day. That way when you greet people they feel happier, and when you smile it creates a more happier environment.

But now I'm paranoid that I'm smiling too much! Is it possible for someone to smile too much?

The Fourth Installment

2007-11-01T07:39:00.000+11:00

I went and saw Saw IV the other day. Thankfully I didn't almost vomit like I did in the third one. My mind is still being made up as to what I thought of it. I think I need to go see it again, as there was got a lot to take in in this one.

Something that I've always liked about the Saw movies is that there is minimal characters and a smart twist at the end of the movie, that leaves you sitting in shock. With this movie, you still left the movie in shock, but I found that they had a few too many characters, or characters that were very similar, because I remember spending half the time going, hang on who was that guy. And just like with all the others, they reference the previous movies, so now I want to go back and watch them again, to see anything that I've missed.

The gore level in this one, isn't as extreme as the previous one. This one focuses more on Jigsaw. I've made the next bit white, as it is a spoiler for Saw III, so if you haven't seen it, don't highlight this bit. The movie starts where the third one ended, with the death of Jigsaw. Just when you think that because he and his apprentice Amanda are dead, that no more traps would happen, think again!

Overall, I thought the movie was pretty good, and if they make another one, than I'll be seeing that, but I think before I go see the next one, I'm gonna have to watch the previous ones a couple more times. Even if it means having to have a vomit bag next to me when I watch the third one again.

Nicknames.

2007-10-29T21:02:00.000+11:00

I give everyone nicknames. No matter who you are, no matter the relationship you have with me, you will have a nickname. I even give nicknames to people who don't even know me. Sometimes the people I give nicknames to, don't even know that I've given them one. This is usually done so that I can talk about that person with my friends, and people listening in don't know who I am talking about.

The latest nickname that I gave out was to Red Bull Guy (or RBG for short). RBG works near my work and comes in every so often and buys red bull. Now he is one of the most attractive guys that I have seen. There is just something about him, and for some reason, my gaydar picked up funny vibes from him. Now I thought that this guy was too hot to be gay, but I don't know if I was imagined it or not, but he was always smiling at me and stuff like that. So my first crush in a long time was born.

Now me being the shy person that I am, I was too scared to talk to him. I would serve him, and then he would walk out, and I would go up to one of the girls and tell them that RBG was just in. Which would usually then have me explaining to the girls who RBG was, because with nicknames I usually just make them up, not tell anyone but expect them to know who I'm talking about.

Anyway, I finally found out about RBG's sexuality on the weekend, when I saw him out at a local club, pashing someone who I assume is his girlfriend. At first he walked in, and they weren't walking close together, so I assumed sisters or something, but with the dirty dancing and the tonsil hockey that occured later on in the night, I'm assuming/hoping it wasn't a family member! So the likelihood of AdamMac and RBG being together is extremely slim, but I'm sure I'll get over it.

I'm really glad as well that the store use nicknames or the people we work with, and the known thieves that enter the store. Our common thieves are bag lady and mole face. So whenever they come in, everyone has to keep an eye on them, and you hear us whispering between the aisles, 'mole face again'.

One mistake that one of my fellow colleagues made, was telling me a nickname that I could call her, as her name is really weird to pronounce. So I proceeded to call her that nickname throughout the day. At the end of the day though, she came up to me and told me that she wasn't comfortable with me calling her that name. I'm sorry, but if you tell me to call you Hooters, than you must be silly to not think that I wouldn't take up the opportunity. I have since stopped.

Do you commonly use nicknames?

Pills?

2007-10-15T13:27:00.000+10:00

Theres got to be something about my appearance that I need to change. It's happening just a little bit too often for my liking. Every time I go out I get asked if I have any pills, or know where to find them.

To set the record straight, which I think I have done on this blog about 3 or 4 times, I don't take drugs. I never have, and it looks like I never will. I'm the type of person that is naturally energetic and I'm actually scared of how hyper I would be if I did take something. Could you imagine it? I would literally be bouncing off walls, floors and ceilings.

I don't know what it is that make people ask though. Maybe I act like I'm on something. Maybe its because I usually have a bottle of water on me when I'm driving, and people think its to keep me hydrated because of the drugs I'm. Maybe I look like a dealer.

Or maybe I'm just over-reacting and wanted to talk about drugs again on my blog. I like that one, so lets stick with that.

Ice Ice Baby

2007-10-14T19:54:00.000+10:00

Did something a little bit different on Friday night. It was Bec's birthday so we all went out to Chill On, Ice Bar.

It was a really good night, something different for a change. It was really cool to be inside this bar that was made completely out of ice. Although it did get a bit cold, you get supplied with warm clothes before you go in.

It was also funny reading all the different rules about the place, thanks Jo for making sure that everyone was aware that I understood the rule "No Licking the Furniture", it's great to know you've got my best interests at heart.

I don't know if I'd go again, it seems to be a one-off experience, but the Funk bar above it was pretty good as well. Well, anywhere that has a disco ball in the shape of a human torso wins my vote.
After that we went out to a bar in the city called Bond Lounge. I'd never been there before, but I used to work opposite it, so I always used to think what type of place is inside. Honestly, it doesn't look crash hot from the outside, the saying don't judge a book by its cover comes to mind though. Inside was awesome. The interior design of the place as impressive, the bar staff were awesome, and the music was pretty good as well. It was a pity that there wasn't that many people there though, because that place looked like it would go off!

Loss...

2007-10-10T21:58:00.000+10:00

Yesterday was not the best day.

I went and saw The Seeker which I thought looked really good. Even though it did seem like a bit of cross between Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings, I still wanted to see it. I was pretty disappointed with it. The acting was horrible, as were some of the shots during the film. I have never wanted to leave during a movie before, while there was that one time during Saw 3 when I thought I was going to vomit but thats a whole other story. So I sat there for what felt like an eternity and painlessly endured it.

To make matters worse, when I left the cinemas I pulled my iPod out of pocket and found that I had accidentally broken it. Sometime during the one and a half hours I wasted watching that film, I had leaned against my pocket and inadvertently smashed the screen. Now my iPod still works, its just that I don't have a screen anymore. It makes it a bit hard to pick a song, and to see what song is playing, but it still works nonetheless.

Being the optimistic *cough cough* person that I am, I have still managed to see this bad situation in a good light. I think that this will give me the opportunity to regain my love for songs that were on my iPod but I never really listened too. I'm sure a lot of people are the same. Whenever they add a new album, that album is almost constantly played, and all the other couple of thousand of songs are neglected. So I figured that if I couldn't pick what I was listening to, I would just have it on random and listen to everything.

After 24 hours I realised two things about myself. The first is that I have a really unique selection of music. The second is that I have really bad taste in music. Well not bad, but rather embarrassing to other people. It's a collection of musicals, camp classics, gay icons, new pop/R 'n B and the occasional cover band rock song. Sometimes even I found myself getting embarrassed whenever a certain song came on, and wanted to be able to see the screen so I could make sure the next one wasn't as bad, in case anyone around me could hear it.

All the more reason why I need to buy a new one. Oh and I saw that at J.B. the new 4 GB Nano was marked down from $199 to $197! It must be a sign!!

Kids?

2007-10-04T21:42:00.000+10:00

I recently got asked if I wanted kids. Now this question is usually really easy for some people to answer but for me, and other people in my situation, it can be a bit hard. When I got asked, it made me wonder heaps about it, so I thought I would blog my feelings on the situation.

For starters, I am aware that I can't have kids naturally with my partner. Unless in the future, they make a way to have a baby without needing a woman or a test-tube, but the likelihood of that is very slim. The fact that I can't do this, is a major deterrent in wanting to have kids. Mainly because the child would only be a biological part of one of its parents. This could lead to arguments in the future as to who the real parent is, etc.

I also don't want to bring a child up in an environment where the child would be affected. Not because I would be a bad father, but because it the child had two dads, in current society, the likelihood of a child getting picked on it at school would be high. I don't want a child to be segregated in school for something that they have no control over, and something that isn't their fault.

I thought maybe raising a kid on my own. This would mean that I would instantly be single forever, seeing that I'm sure there isn't a lot of guys that would want to hook up with someone with a kid. Maybe if I was a married straight guy, and the other guy enjoyed that kind of thing, but I think for a single gay guy raising a child of their own would have slim pickings.

But before thinking about how to raise the child, I need to think about how I'm going to 'make' it, so to speak. If I was with someone, would be play rock-paper-scissors to find out who gets to be the 'real' father? Do we both contribute and see who is the fastest? Do we use some random woman that we don't even know? Use a best girlfriend? Do I adopt?

So many different things that need to be considered. Before you start thinking that I've lost my mind, I don't intend on running out and adopting children. Its just one of the many things that run through my head, and I figure its better to let them out here, then to leave them in there.

I think kids would be nice in the future, at the moment I don't see it as a possibility though.

One Night Only!

2007-10-03T14:01:00.000+10:00

That is all I ask for...

Is it too much to ask for?

ONE NIGHT!

Coming in Loud and Clear

2007-09-28T09:57:00.000+10:00

Or should that be proud and queer?

Over the last week or so, I've gotten the same type of feedback from people that I've recently met. People who have never heard of or met AdamMac before, and their reactions were exactly the same.

Apparently I'm really loud. I've known for a while that I'm loud, outspoken, and bitchy, but I didn't think that it would make someone base their whole first opinion on me. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating just a little bit, of course I knew someone would.

Its just the type of person that I am. Loud and in your face. I don't usually hold back when discussing something that I'm passionate about, and if you get me worked up, be prepared for good debate. Although I admit that I'm pretty bitchy, I know this, sometimes its done on purpose whereas other times it just happens. I also have to admit that sometimes I hold back in what I want to say. Sometimes I wish I could just say stuff to get it off my chest, but I think too much about what may happen if I say it, people getting hurt etc.

Through my recent youtube searching, I've found this thing that airs on Comedy Central where they 'roast' celebrities. Its pretty entertaining, who doesn't love seeing Pamela Anderson being verbally abused and just having to sit there and take it? I'd wanna have a roast with a panel of people that I could select. That way I can say whatever I want about them, and have a reason to do it. Mainly so that I could say some things that I really couldn't say to them, well not including drunken dials which reminds me, I haven't done one of those for a while*.

I'd also wanna do a roast thing, because it gives those people a chance to say stuff about me, and I'd love to know what people have to same about me without having to hold back. Who knows, maybe I might organise one of these in the future**.

I also have a new idol when it comes to being a bitch, move over mum I found someone worse than you! Her name is Sarah Silverman. She crosses the line, that many people tip-toe up to and then run away. Her recent performance at the MTV Video Music Awards was inspiring.

Please be aware that there is sexual references and language in it, oh and Paris Hilton. Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

I'm more bitchy in theory than in practice.

*I'm going out drinking tonight, so if I were you I'd turn off your phones tonight :P
** Anyone who knows me will know I'm too lazy to be bothered.

Preoccupied..

2007-09-23T00:34:00.001+10:00

A small snapshot of the 'secret blog'/book I'm writing. No its not all in purple, there are no colours in it actually, I thought I'd just make a little montage for you to look at.

AlchoMac: The Quiz

2007-09-12T00:39:00.000+10:00

When I get drunk, I: Can become loving, or in some cases really abusive!

Do you talk about Religion or Deep meaning thoughts?: Ummmm Would you consider the importance of Beer in ones life a deep and meaning thought?

Do you Cry?: All the time. This bitch isn't afraid to show emotion.

Do you get Angry?: As above.

Do you Vomit? : It hasn't happened for a while though, ah good times, good times, great classic hits

After 7 beers are you drunk?: Umm I would be very close to it, if not dancing over the line of complete stupidity. Oh and when I say dancing, I mean full blown boot-scooting, 5-6-7-8'ing dancing!

After 1 shot of 151 you are? After any shot I'm always looking at Jo and saying 'Why?'

Your favorite drink is?: Do I have to have a favourite? I don't want any of them getting angry with me if I don't say them.

Tequila does what to you? Gets me drunk?!?! I thought that was the point.

Whiskey makes you?: As above!

Who do you drink with? : Anyone who is willing to go for the journey that is "The Many Emotions of AdamMac'.

Vodka makes you?: Dance

Do you smoke when you drink? : Ummm wouldn't liquid put me out if I was on fire :S

On the rocks or straight up?: Either or. Does it really matter in the long run?

Do you Pass Out?: No, I just lose all memory of the night. Thats if its a good night anyway! Ah, good times, good times, great classic hits!

Do you drink girly drinks?: Why do they have to be called girly drinks? Can't they be called pretty colourful drinks instead?

Do you drink alone? : Look at pics on MySpace, do you see 'Audition for AA'? Well lets just say, there was no-one around when those pics were taken!

Worst Drink you have ever had?: I honestly can't remember, because Jo would normally make me shot something else to wash it done.

Do you play drinking games?: Ummm, I like to call them drunken challenges, because I usually don't know the rules most of the time, and I'm too drunk to care.

Drunk Phone Calls to people?: Oh, I have drunk and dialled a many times, and then usually fallen asleep to whoever I'm talking to!

Drink and Drive? : Nope! Good boy!

What is your favorite beer?: Carlton. Cheap and nasty, just like the bitch I drink it with. Love ya Lou!

What is your favorite mixed drink?: Smirnoff

What is your favorite shot?: Hmmmm I've got a soft spot for the cowboy, must have to do with its name?

What will you NOT drink?: Ummmm I don't know!

Are you a lightweight? : Does this mean if I skinny or not? LOU HELP!

Do you like the drinks with the little umbrellas?: Oh, they aren't good. Yes they are pretty, but I usually end up stabbing myself in the head when I try and wear them as hats!

Do you ever drink Bacardi Silver? : Probably.

Do you like frozen drinks?: Who doesn't like a good brain freeze when their drunk!

Do you drink liquor straight? : If by straight you mean straight of the bottle, then yes. Although that was the time when my friend Vodka made me forget the night when I tried that last time.

Do you ever drink out of the bottle?: Hehehehe. As above.

Have you ever had a jagerbomb?: Ah, the god old Jagerbomb. Always the turning point in the night, it either makes it really good, or really bad!

Are you drunk right now?: No, but a shot of something might actually make me sleep!

Do you consume more than 2 alcoholic beverages a day? Not a day.

Do you drink a lot of wine?: Gotta love cheap Brown Brothers Moscato

When is the last time you drank?: Weekend

Have you ever thrown up from drinking?: Yeppo, though not proud to admit it!

Ever done a Keg Stand?: Unfortunately, no.

Name someone that will repost this drinking survey?: Lou, because she is like me!

Ever been streaking while drinking?: Yeah

Failed any college courses due to alcohol alone?: No, but that would have been a good excuse!

Ever woken up & said "dude where's my car? : Nope. Because if I have my car, I'm not drinking :P

Ever carried someone due to their drunkenness?: I think so, but I'm usually drunk too, so I think I have super strength. One of the many qualities I have when drunk.

Have you ever cleaned up a friends puke?: Yeah, when people have chucked in my car!

Puked in a friend's car? : Nope.

Ever drank more beers than years?: I think so if you mean age, but if you mean by the actual year, well 2007 is a lot!

Ever smash a beer bottle when mad? : Yeah I have! But it was mainly for shock value and my own entertainment!

Just pay $10 and you'll get $100000000

2007-09-11T10:18:00.000+10:00

Sometimes things happen and I can't help but laugh. Over the last week, I've been reading stuff about Matrix schemes and Pyramid schemes on WikiPedia, yeah I know such an interesting life that I lead. I was actually quite astounded to know how some people have set up such elaborate schemes, but also the fact that people would actually fall for it.

After reading about some of the schemes, I was wondering if they still existed and read on WikiPedia that they still were going on, but surprised that people would still fall for it.

Then yesterday, I received something odd in the mail. It was a handwritten envelope. Now I never receive anything in the post with a handwritten address, mainly because the only thing I receive in the post is bills. So this one was a bit weird.

When I opened it up, I burst into laughter. Someone had sent this get rich quick scheme, about how I can make $70 000 from just doing one mail out. All I had to do was say thank you to the previous person who sent it to me, by sending them $10. Then I had to resend the letter to 200 random people and wait for the money to roll in. Seriously, how many people would do this?

I'm tempted to go to some sort of regulatory body about it. I love the fact that it can guarantee that by doing the mail out I would get a minimum $70 000. I'm trying to do the math, and it just doesn't work out :P If I send it to 200 people and they all send back $10, that would equate to $2 000. Now majority of people would be like me and not do anything about it, so even if 10 people sent one back it would give me $100. Now take into consideration the amount of stamps needed, envelopes, paper and ink needed, that's one big heap of expenses.

I wonder how they can guarantee this, and tell me it isn't legal?!? Maybe I should mail them out some information from previous court cases where the guys running these schemes were fined! And if people send out letters thinking they are making money, can they too be fined? I wonder...

A Melbourne Icon UN-MASKED!

2007-09-07T21:08:00.000+10:00

I'm still in shock. I'm still trying to recover my breath. I witnessed something which i thought I would never see in my entire life....

I saw him without his mask on!

I know, I know. But I dare not talk about it here, for who knows what may happen if he so happens to read this and find out I told everyone his true identity!

MyFaceSpaceBook*

2007-09-04T23:27:00.000+10:00

I'm addicted to both of them. MySpace I'm addicted to a little bit more, mainly because I've had it longer, but in the short time that I've had a facebook, I'm surprised at how much I'm actually getting into it.

Each of them have their own pros and cons. Each one has something that makes me like a little bit better than the other one. By doing this post, it just highlights the fact that I have no life whatsoever!

The thing that I like about facebook is all the applications you can add. I'm loving scrabble on there, as well as the vampire application. For some reason, its really exciting to know that I'm turning people into vampires and making my own little army.

The other thing that I like about facebook is the ability to stalk your friends. Ummm.... That came out a little bit wrong. I meant to say, it's not to know what your friends are up to and who they are talking too, and who they have added as friends, etc. Ok, so maybe still seeming just a little bit wrong.

The thing I don't really like about facebook, and where MySpace wins, is that you can't show your own personal flair on Facebook. I mean in terms of profile layout and design. On facebook, its pretty much set out for you and you can just move things around on your page.

As you've probably guessed, I love MySpace for that exact reason. I'm able to express myself via my own little page. I think that also because I've been using MySpace a lot longer, I feel more comfortable using it. Its a lot more user friendly than what facebook is, just ask Jo!

From a stalkers point of view**, MySpace is better if you wanna be able to look at random people and get carried away with their friends. Whereas if you wanna keep the stalking to your own circle, facebook is probably the way to go.

Until they combine the two, I'll have to stick with swapping between, as I can't see myself giving up either one of them anytime soon.

*stolen from Jedica
**we are talking the nice harmless stalker that mainly checks things for gossip purrposes

Aarrrghhh!

2007-09-03T22:15:00.000+10:00

It's been a while, I know! Here's some photos to keep you entertained while I'm writing my next blog post! They are of me and the girls on a pirate themed booze cruise! Enjoy...

Application Pending

2007-08-17T07:24:00.000+10:00

I don't think I've been so excited and so frightened by something at the same time.

I've applied to go to WAAPA.

For starters, I just wanna say that it isn't because of my weird obsession with Hungry Jacks that I've decided to go to a school with a name that reminds of their burger. Seriously. I'm in love with Bacon Deluxe burgers, whoppers are yuck!

For those who don't know, WAAPA stands for the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts. Two things should spring up in your mind when you read this. The first being that why on Earth would AdamMac be applying for a course at a school of Performing Arts. Well, its not to be on stage, but its an Advanced Diploma of Stage Management. The second thing, is the whole 'Western Australian' thing. Yes, if I got in, it would mean I would have to move. This is probably the most frightening thing about it.

From speaking to one of the lectures of the course, I don't think I've been so happy in a while. I called my mum to talk to her and she was shocked that I sounded so happy on the phone. I also spoke to some other people about it, who have all said in the past that I should look at doing something in this area professionally, and they too could tell of my excited tone, but I think they too were excited.

I don't know if I'll get in, as places are extremely limited, but I figure if I wanna do something that I love, I'm going to need to do some sacrificing and takes some plunges.

If I get in, the course starts in February, which means that as of February, I'll be in W.A. for three years. Thats a scary thought too... The worst thing about it would be leaving my family and my friends behind. I love my friends, oh and of course I love my family, so I think it would be a bit concerning to move to the other side of the country, but I know that I'd keep in contact with them!

Obviously if I got in, my blogging frequency would be drastically increased, as would my MySpace and MSN involvement. But I don't wanna be too hopeful at the moment, and rather just sit and wait.

I thought I would just let you guys know of a possible move early next year.

AdamMac.

Absence

2007-07-24T09:21:00.000+10:00

Quick update...

AdamMac won't be appearing on MSN or MySpace for about two weeks. If I do jump on, its only quickly to check something.

The reason is because I'm staying in Williamstown for a couple of days this week, and next week is the Werribee Secondary College musical, so I'll be a busy little beaver.

What does this mean to you?

Well nothing really, but if you need to get in contact with me, make sure you email it to my hotmail address, and not leave me a MySpace comment because I may not read it until its too late!

Till I make a return, love you all chickens :P

AdamMac.

Too Long..

2007-07-13T16:38:00.000+10:00

So it's been a while since my last post, and I apologise... Been a little busy lately, and the computer is playing up at home at the moment, so that's not a lot of fun.

Heaps of have been happening lately, not that I can go through much, because I think of too many things to blog at once, and by the time I sort out what I'm going to write, I either forget or can't be bothered. So I'll highlight quickly what has happened and what's happening...

Job is going well, still settling in, but its all good :D
Turned 21 + 1 on Tuesday, feeling a little bit old
Been drinking maybe a bit too much lately, although I'm surprised at how much I drank last week and how little of a hangover I had
UV party on Saturday should be fun
Been scared out of my life on the last two Wednesday cruising with the girls after Parma night :S

I'll try and blog some more during the week, so keep coming back to see if there is any :D

It's gonna be messy...

2007-06-26T09:08:00.001+10:00

Dirty V + My Girls

2007-06-19T22:47:00.000+10:00

Why I shouldn't be allowed to drink in public!

21 + 1

2007-06-15T18:35:00.000+10:00

Its slightly scary. In just over three weeks I will be 22 (or as I like to call it 21+1). It means that a. I'm no longer a 21 year old, and b. I'm only eight years from thirty!

At the moment I don't really know what I wanna do... Tossing up between a couple of ideas, but I have no idea. I'm no good at organising things, so I don't really know what to do.

At the moment, I'm thinking of doing something on the 13th, mainly because its a Friday and I reckon it would be cool to go out and get drunk. I'm also tossing up having some sort of theme, and getting everyone to get dressed up according to it and then going out.

If I was to do a theme thing, I reckon I would go with a UV type thing. If you look at the latest photo on the right, its of the top that I wore last time I went out, and needless to say I glowed! I reckon it would be cool if I could get a whole bunch of people to wear glowing clothes and that would be cool. Apparently you can also buy UV nail polish, lipstick and hair spray! It could be a good idea.

More than likely though, I'll probably just end up going out with a group of friends, the safest bet. Maybe even having dinner with people too would be cool...

Got any ideas?? What are they??

Hospitals, Themeparks, Dungeons, Wars and Transport!

2007-06-10T10:31:00.000+10:00

Can you remember the good old computer days, where games were so addictive you would be stuck on them forever? No?!?! Well I can...

Growing up I used to use computer games as a form of escape, and everyone else was playing them, so I needed to as well. I have fond memories of all the games that I used to play, and found it amusing while talking to one of my friends, that growing up we used to play similar games.

Anything that was created by the company Bullfrog, I adored. They gave us some great games, and majority of them you can still play now.

The main reason why I've started thinking about these games again, is mainly because I recently brought ThemePark on the DS. I was exactly how I remembered it, and after playing it, I realised that I started doing exactly what I used to too... I started building the same way that I used to, and was following the same sort of pattern. It made me think about how much I had changed since I used to play these games.

Some of my favourite type of games where the ones where you looked down on a world and built things. The main ones being games like ThemePark, ThemeHospital, Transport Tycoon Deluxe, Warcraft and Dungeon Keeper. All of which I'm sure I wasted a fair bit of time on.

Did you used to play games when you were growing up? What were they?

I'm a message in a bottle...

2007-06-06T20:56:00.000+10:00

Okay, I've managed to do it again. Find another enjoyable and time consuming site thanks to PointlessSites.

This one is called Oceangram. Basically, its an online message in a bottle site, where you can put your own message in a bottle and send it out to the big virtual ocean, where it will end up at someone else's ~~beach~~ desktop.

Its pretty fun reading other people deep secrets. The best thing about it as well, is that you can add to other people's message and send them back on their merry way. If that person has set up tracking, they can always check up on their message and see if anyone has placed any comments on it. I recently sent out one, but there has been no comments yet.

One thing that I don't like about it though, is the ability to retire a message. This means that some prick can sit there all day and just retire them, instead of tossing them back into the ocean. If people write something personal, it should stay there!!!

If you wanna check it out yourself, just go down to the sidebar and click on Oceangram!

What would you write in a message in a bottle???

Your Mum!

2007-06-03T21:29:00.000+10:00

I know that you read this, and I know that you've always said why I never do a post about you, well now I'm going to!

If you haven't figured it out yet, this blog post is all going to be about my mum! Not your mum, but mine!

My mum is the unsung hero of our family. She does everything and anything imaginable. From cooking to cleaning, she does it all. She works her arse off at work, and yet still manages to find the time to organise everyone! I know how she manages to find the time, its because she doesn't spend anytime on herself. Whenever she does something, she always puts us in front of her, and makes sure we have everything before she gets things for herself.

At times, I know she must think that I don't love her, but I do. There isn't anyone out there who would come close to her. She is always there for me, always have been, and hopefully always will be. Whenever I need to shoulder to cry on, or a good bitch, I can always go to her.

Everyone says celebrities or sport stars are their heroes, but in my case it would be my mum*. She has been through so much in her life, and I admire that she was able to get through it all. If I turn out to be at least half as good a person as she is, then I'll be extremely happy.

So there you go, you finally got a post all about you :P

♥ LOVE YA MUM! ♥

*How corny can you get? But its true!

Separating the fags and the straights...

2007-05-29T21:15:00.000+10:00

NB: If you don't know anything about the Peel case in the news recently, read this article to catch up on it here.

Seriously, I don't think that this is such a big deal... People have been putting up bulletins with petitions on MySpace and complaining about how unfair it all is.

I think that the media behind it, has caused a lot of confusion. Its not like the Peel is going to turn away every straight person that turns up. It will just be able to exercise its right if a large group of straight guys tried to get in for example.

The Peel would be stupid to turn away every girl that turned up. They would be doing something which is completely unethical, separating the fag and the fag hag! If they started doing this, the majority of guys who currently attend, would stop going and would go somewhere is!

Mainly, get over it. Its good that the Peel can now turn away big groups of straight people, seeing that what they said has a point. Straight people have how many clubs to go to????

Do you agree or do you think its unfair??

I got Lei'd

2007-05-27T13:52:00.000+10:00

I love going out and having fun. But I love dressing up and having fun even more. Me and Louie recently did that and boy did we have fun.

Louie got dressed up in her short short shorts, a white midori singlet, midori sunglasses, black vest, green bling!

I was dressed in a tight top with the sleeves rolled up and tucked under, so it looked sleeveless. I also had a yellow lei around my neck for the night, well until Louie broke it!!!! Okay, so maybe I didn't wear it like this photo, but I liked this photo, because she looks so happy in it! Come on, how can you not be happy wearing a lei????

I had a good time, except people kept trying to take it off and I was getting heaps of evil eyes. But they were mainly from girls who were just jealous that I had one and they didn't... BITCHES!

Now I feel the urge to be more creative when I go out. I'm in the mood, where I don't care what people think, I just go out and have fun!

Anyone got any ideas on what I can wear next time?

Talking to Myself!

2007-05-24T08:37:00.000+10:00

As you are all pretty aware by now, I'm addicted to anything exciting and new on the internet. I recently stumbled across a website that I thought was really clever, so I thought I'd play around with it.

Its called FutureMe, and it basically lets you send an email to yourself in the future. You type the email, and then you put in what date you want the letter to be sent. You then can't see the letter until its sent to your inbox.

I played around with it, and sent myself one that I'll receive in 6 months. For those who don't know, I've recently got a new job at work, and I start that on Monday, so majority of the email was about how I'm feeling at the moment, and when I get the email in 6 months, hopefully I can look back at it and laugh!

Another great thing about the website is that it lets you read other peoples, well if they've selected public that is, and you can see what other people have sent to themselves, and when they want it sent to them....

Whats the one thing you'd want to email to yourself in the future? How long into the future would you send it to yourself?

Who thumbed you?

2007-05-22T23:38:00.000+10:00

Yeah, everyone looks up and then you have to try and figure out who thumbed you!

It's amazing how people can take things in many different ways. Take the above sentence for example. Whats the first thing that came to mind??

1. Obvious dirty, sleazy disgusting option. Don't deny it, everyone would think of this first.

OR

2. A bunch of people playing 'Heads down, thumbs up'.

Reason for the random post today about thumbs?? Well I can't remember how to play 'Heads down, thumbs up'. But thankfully, Wikipedia is here to help me out! Click here for article.

Thinking about this made me start thinking of all the other games that I used to play in primary and high school, and I got all reminiscent. But I'll stop now!

Are they any games that you remember playing?? What were they??

Spring Awakening and other musicals...

2007-05-14T20:54:00.000+10:00

I'm addicted. Another musical to add onto the list. This one is awesome. I'm in love. I think I've listened to the album about 50 times on my iPod. The songs are catchy and fun, and it portrays a good message. The musical is called Spring Awakening and its currently at Broadway,

I'm also really excited because Wicked might be coming to Melbourne. I saw it on the news yesterday and screamed. Well not really screamed, but got a funny feeling on the inside. If it came to Melbourne, I'd would definitely go and see it.

The high school's musical is shaping up to be pretty good as well. Been helping out on Saturdays with the set, which is coming together. I'm Stage Managing it again, so that should be fun. Really looking forward to doing it again. The kids this year seem really nice and switched on, lets see how they go at the theatre!

I'm single and where is the camera?

2007-05-14T18:08:00.000+10:00

Eurovision is over for another year, and as usual it provided me with many laughs. The first video is of the winners, Serbia. The next video is from the runners up, Ukraine.

From looking at the two videos, you can probably tell why I love it sooooo much.

The Winners!

Runner Up!

The main reason why I love it is the costuming, then the energy of the contests, closely followed by the music. Eurovision has everything anyone could ever need. It also has a whole bunch of confusing rules, which usually change ever year, and is always dominated by the 'Big 4'.

If you didn't watch it this year, make sure you mark it in your diaries for next year!

Before I go, I'll leave you one more, the entry from the United Kingdom.

The Big 2-0-0!

2007-05-12T06:27:00.000+10:00

I've been so preoccupied with trying to make my blog look good lately, that it totally slipped by that my last post was my 200th post! So first of all I just wanna say, 'WooHoo!'. To get to 200 blog posts is a very big thing for me, seeing that in the beginning, I really wasn't that interested in the whole blogging thing. Now though, I'm addicted to this and MySpace!

C Grade Personality has come a pretty long way since it started about 2 years ago. I think its finally getting to the point where I'm happy with the layout, and the way its set up. Maybe a few more things to tweak and it should be fine. If you have any suggestions, send them on :P Can you always click on the 'contact me' button in the header and shoot me an email.

So I've hit the 200 mark, what now for AdamMac I hear you all asking. Well, I think a couple of months ago, I bit off a bit more than I could chew with all the other internet accounts, i.e. flickr, Live Journal. I think I need to put more effort into those, and bring them up to scratch.

In terms of blogging, I'm currently tweaking the layout of a couple of blogs, before they are released. So as soon as I'm happy with them, they will be released. I'm thinking of making one a group effort, so I'll be needing some extra authors, so if your interested, stay tuned!

I just wanna say thanks to all the people that read this though. So, THANKS!

AdamMac

Following the Emo Kid

2007-05-08T19:55:00.000+10:00

I recently found myself venturing out into the city to attend a birthday party at a place called Bang. I never been there before, and whenever I mentioned to someone that I was going there, I was usually met with a weird look on their face. Then asked a thousand questions about whether or not I knew what type of place that was, why I was going there, and people even told me on the day that I wasn't dressed for the occasion.

Now before you start getting the wrong idea, Bang is not an adult's club even though the name may suggest it. Bang is an emo/punk/metal/loud-crazy-dark-music club. Well I think thats the best kind of explanation for it. :S I was told that apparently I'm not emo enough to go to a club like Bang.

Apparently, if I wanted to be more emo, I should do the following things*:

have a long fringe and brushed to the one side, dyed black and straightened
wear a t-shirt complete with band insignia, tight black jeans with a studded belt and belt buckles
have to be more candid about my emotions, be more sensitive, broken hearted, glum and depressed.

As you can probably imagine, being emo really isn't my thing. And as a matter of fact, I don't think I could ever be emo. Anyway, with all this new knowledge, I thought I was ready to head out to one of their clubs. I grabbed LouLou and we headed out into the city.

For starters, we got lost. We had no idea where it was, and after 10 minutes of mindless pacing up and down the street, Lou came up with a brilliant idea. Instead of looking for the place, she suggested that we start following people who look emo, and they will show us the way. Kind of like a follow the yellow brick road sort of adventure, except this time we wouldn't be surrounded by colourful midgets.

After following a couple of people in the completely wrong direction, we finally had some luck come our way, when we bumped into a bunch of them. Surely, these people would be heading to Bang, we didn't think their would be many places that cater for the emo. So we followed them to the entrance of a club, outside of which more people were lining up, so we followed suit and lined up. After a couple of minutes, we got a bit concerned that their was no signage out the front saying 'Bang', so we asked where we were and found out the reason why there was no signs was because we actually weren't lining up at Bang.

We eventually found the place, and were greeted with the loud squealing of the guys on stage 'singing'. To which, both myself and Lou agreed we needed a Jagerbomb to help break the ice.

I had a great time, doing something that I probably wouldn't usually do. It's always good to try new things and have some fun. I also got some valuable advice from Lou in regards to what to do in a situation like this again. She basically advised to stay away from any dark rooms, thats where they are at their best, and if I hear them crying to turn on a light.

Also met some cool new people out there, so who knows, AdamMac may be at Bang again?!?!

*According to Wikipedia

AdamMac on the Red Carpet

2007-05-07T22:20:00.000+10:00

Sunday night saw AdamMac hitting the red carpet and attending the 2007 TV Week Logie Awards. Okay, so maybe that just made me sound like I was actually attending the event, I lie. I was one of those glorified bleachers, watching patiently from the side lines.

I got dressed up. Took my mum as my date, like every other famous person. Got to our seats and waited patiently for stars to arrive. All I wanted to do was see Naomi Robson and mum just wanted to see Rove. It took some time, but we eventually got to see them.

It was exciting sitting there thinking about which celebrity was going to get out of the next limo. It was also strange to actually see the red carpet up so close. It looks a LOT different to what it does on the tv. In real life, its completely crowded. Full of photographers, different celebs, cameramen, hosts and managers.

After seeing the logies I have a new goal. I wanna be one of the interviewers on the sidelines. I want to have a runner on the carpet, rounding up celebrities to come and talk to me. I want celebrities heading for me just as they get out of their car for an interview. Weird huh? But it just looked so much fun.

And now for some gossip:

I love Avril, but please... Did she not know that she would be walking a red carpet? What on earth was she wearing?? Just because your down under, doesn't mean you can dress like you've just woken out of bed...
A certain celebrity wasn't the friendliest on the red carpet. Ignoring the fans and not being the nicest of people towards the 'help' aren't very nice things to do, especially if said person was being nominated for a prestige award...

There is some more, but that will be coming out at a later date.

BB07

2007-04-22T23:02:00.000+10:00

Okay, so Big Brother is back again. I did the ritual bitch session with my mum on the opening night. We did the whole, what is Gretel wearing? How on earth did that person get into Big Brother? Whose the fag? How's in the relationships?

I knew that I would get depressed watching it. Mainly because I had told myself that this year I was going to audition, I even got dressed and ready to go. But like most things, I chickened out and didn't go. So I sat and watched BB tonight and thought to myself, that could have been me...

I don't know if I would have made it through the audition process though. I'm hoping that they audition next year, if they do then I'll have to go, and I'll make sure that I get someone else to come with me so that I have to go...

Anyway, I don't know who I'm a fan of so far, no-one has really stuck out. I don't think I like any of them. :( I suppose we will just have to wait and see...

Unblocked...

2007-04-15T21:01:00.000+10:00

I knew it wouldn't take that long. I've unblocked. I feel the urge to blog again. How lucky for you all. A fair bit has happened since I got the blog. One of the thoughts that I've had running through my head is the one that I blogged about during the break, and its not what everyone thinks it refers to, but something else.

The past weekend was really fun. I had an awesome time. Paid for it today though, having spent the majority of the day in bed because I couldn't be bothered doing anything. This is what happened on my weekend, if you hold your mouse of the picture it gives you a quick description of whats

Friday Night
Caught up with the lovely Jo and Lou for some frolicking in the city. Got tempted by the lights of a pretty ferris wheel and were terrified when Louie thought it would be funny to rock the carriage. Also were the victim of a line pusher-iner who jumped the line by threatening to ask for a refund! I hate old people. Then met Meghan B. and saw Fuse. Drank lots of alcohol and had fun at Crown with builders tape.

Saturday Night
Went to B's 30th birthday party. It was a dress-up party, where everyone had to go as something starting with the letter B. Had heaps of fun and it just proves that you don't need alcohol to have fun. Had a ball dancing up a storm with my mum, and getting dressed up. I put the camp in Boot Camp instructor.

Hanging On?

2007-04-13T14:21:00.001+10:00

Do you ever feel like you are hanging on to something in the hope that it real return to how you remember it? Over the last couple of weeks I've started to realize that I do this with a lot of things.

Last night it hit me, and it hit me hard. I can't keep hoping that things well go back to how they were, how I want them to be. People move on, things change. I'm starting to learn that I can't change it.

I realized when I first moved out of home that I had a problem with hanging on to things. I'm a hoarder. The amount of crap that I had was ridiculous. It was rather scary. Things from primary school that I had made, or even wrote. I had saved old diaries, old school books.

Its not only at home where I do this, but also at work. I have every diary that I have ever used at work. I still have my training folder, complete with all the drawings I did in it and notes that I had wrote. I also have some writing pads that I use during calls in my drawers. I finally got rid of some of them, but it took some time.

Its a problem that I have, I'll openly admit it. But I need to do something about it, and with some things at the moment, I need to realize that I can't go back to what I want, I need to either get used to it, or leave it. Its a decision I don't want to have to make, but I think it made itself last night.

AdamMac

The Block..

2007-03-28T08:06:00.000+10:00

Every couple of months it happens. I get bloggers block. I have too many ideas to blog about, and I get confused as to which one to do, I then take too long deciding which one I want to do, and then do none of them.

Also at the moment, my mind isn't in the right spot to be blogging. Need to settle some things out first so I can get my head a bit more clear.

I'm not stopping blogging, I'll just be taking a break over the next couple of weeks, with maybe one or two small posts.

AdamMac.

A Poem

2007-03-21T19:46:00.000+11:00

As I wake every morning, having a few hours sleep.
I dread the day ahead, sometimes making me weep.
To think of the jobs, that all lie ahead,
All that I wish is to just stay in bed.

I wake to the sound, of my alarm clock blaring,
The constant beeping, is quite overbearing.
The knock on the door, confirms what I fear,
That the start of the day, already too near.

As I stumble out of bed, in the mirror I glance,
At a tired young man, leaving nothing to chance.
My whole day is planned, from beginning to end,
Not a minute of time on myself, I can spend.

My room becomes lit, as the new day arises,
I’m hoping my day, brings some new surprises.
My closest is full; no more room not a bit,
My shoes and my suits, all tailored to fit.

Immaculately dressed, as I get in the car,
It’s what I must do, part of being a star.
Parties and signings, must all be attended,
A smile on my face, always expected.

Camera flashes and screams, from my adoring fans.
But not a single one knows me, no one understands.
The ongoing pressure, of being at the top,
Constantly wondering, when will it stop?

This kind of life, though it may seem exciting,
To have time by yourself, you’ll be constantly fighting.
How I wish I could just spend a minute alone,
And make all the decisions, all on my own.

Kiss?

2007-03-17T09:20:00.000+11:00

I went clubbing last night, and had something happen to me which never happens. I guy tried to pick me up. Let's set the scene:

AdamMac was standing in a hallway, after his friends had gone upstairs. A big bunch of people squeeze their way through the tiny hallway. AdamMac is trying to use his phone to text people, and one of the guys squeezing through comes up next to him and says, 'Kiss?'.

That was it. One word. It was kinda depressing. Mainly because apparently I look easy enough to be picked up with one word. Just because I'm standing next to the stairs to the ~~'Fuck-your-brains-out'~~ 'Men's Only' section, doesn't mean I had just gotten down from there. And the fact that the guy was like 50 didn't help either.

It made me think. Did I look that desperate to make a 50-something guy think he had a chance with me?

This is why I hate the scene. It plays on my emotions. I've always wondered if it was the same at straight clubs. I figured at straight clubs it would be a little different, seeing that I think that its more common to randomly pick someone up at a gay club, compared to a straight club. It supposed to do with something about men's sexual mentality. Mainly because we are supposed to be horny 24-7 and on the constant look-out for our next conquest. That's the reason why I don't like the scene. I'm not like this typical guy. I don't go looking for the next conquest, I've got no need to.

But then I have to ask myself, if I'm not like that, why am I getting depressed being there? I suppose its a question that will be on my mind for a while.

AdamMac.

Bali, here I come?

2007-03-16T10:42:00.000+11:00

2007 was always going to be the year of travel for AdamMac. I've toyed with heaps of ideas, Europe, US and now Bali. Contiki was always going to be the option, I just didn't know which one. Each one has their pros and cons, and when I've thought about it, I really wanna go to Bali. Contiki have an awesome resort, with awesome rooms and awesome facilities. Woah, too much use of the word awesome, so I might not use it again.

I don't think I'd have enough money for Europe. To do Europe properly I'd need more time and more money. That would be ~~awesome~~ great! To back pack around Europe at my own accord and just see everything. So maybe that can be a longer term goal.

Apparenlty the US is a lot like Australia, in terms of culture and everything, and for my first real trip I wanna be somewhere where it is culturally different. I think thats why I choose Bali over the US.

I'm hoping to travel later this year, just need someone to go with, but hopefully I've already found that person.

AdamMac.

Getting my internet on...

2007-03-13T11:09:00.000+11:00

A lot of people ask me why my name of my blog is C Grade Personality. The main reason why this came about is that I used to do a radio show with Meghan B. and my mum used to call me a C Grade Personality because I was like a D Grade Star. Also at the time I was doing some amateur theatre, which helped her in her reasoning.

I haven't really done that much lately to keep up my C Grade status. I've been lazy. But that's all going to change.

You may have noticed a slight change in my blog layout. Well maybe not that slight. I've put little tabs at the top of my blog to re-direct you to some other pages that I've set up to be all about me! These are the sites that I've created accounts on LiveJournal, MySpace, vod:pod, and Flickr.

I'm still going to be doing my blog, but I've also going to start using all the other sites as well.

My LiveJournal will be like a diary entry for each day, so you can see what I've been getting up to on a daily basis.

My MySpace is still going to be used as a main one for people to get in contact with me. My MySpace will be like the main one, as it will have photos, comments and an easy way to contact me.

My vod:pod will let you all know what type of videos I'm watching at the moment, if you've had a look I'm going through a J-Pop phase!

My Flickr will be used to upload all my photos of things that I'm doing, I'm gonna try and also become more snap happy with my camera!

So, I'm getting my internet on, to keep my C Grade status. Who knows, there may also be some other plans in the making to keep the status, but you'll just have to keep tuned for that one!

AdamMac.
C Grade Personality

The half way mark..

2007-03-12T15:59:00.000+11:00

Day 20.

I've made it half way through my lent. That means for the last 20 days, I haven't eaten anything with chocolate in it, or purchased anything from one of the major fast food outlets. I'm proud of myself, and shocked that I've even made it this far.

So far it's been a challenge. I've never really realised how many things chocolate is actually in, but over the last couple of weeks, its been quite clear. A lot of ice cream places don't have a lot of variety for people who don't eat chocolate. Neither do some restaurants.

I've also found it difficult not to just pull into a drive-thru and get tea on the way home. Or early in the morning, if I'm feeling peckish, I can no longer grab a Sausage McMuffin!

Well I've made it this far, and no matter how much I'm tempted, I won't succumb. I'm going to last the forty days or die trying.

AdamMac.

Dark Elevators

2007-03-07T11:40:00.000+11:00

Over the last week, I've needed to get an elevator to get out of the carpark. Every day this week, I've gotten the same elevator. The elevator with no lights. Now I park on level 12 and I have to go all the way down to the bottom level to get out of the car park.

Now I would be fine if I just had to go in the elevator and have a nice quick trip down to the bottom and not have anyone else in it, but every day I get on the elevator by myself, but come level 10, someone else jumps on.

It can be very daunting to be standing in a black box with someone else, with the only light being the numbers above the door slowly counting downing to 1. I also get paranoid that they can hear the music that my iPod is playing, because sometimes when its on random, it plays songs that I'm usually embarrassed of. So I have to turn that off before I get on.

So, basically for everyday this week, I've been travelling in a black box with some complete stranger, in complete silence. For some reason its a bit hard to make small talk when you are alone in a tiny black box. Well it is for me, when the over person in the box is usually a fat, 40 something, balding guy. If it was a young, attractive guy, I'm sure it would be a different story :P

AdamMac.

Australia's Got Talent?

2007-03-04T20:17:00.000+11:00

Forgive me father for I have sinned. For about a month now, every Sunday I've been indulging in a simple guilty pleasure. It's true, every Sunday I watch 'Australia's got Talent'.

I don't know why I watch it. Some of the people on it scares me, but some of the others are quite entertaining. I love seeing them just burn out, and others I sit there thinking, hang on they were actually quite good. I want one of the buzzers for me at home, so I can sit there and buzz the people I don't like, then have a big red cross come up on the screen with AdamMac written underneath it.

I know that they can't hear me on the television and that all the rehearsals have probably been pre-recorded so it probably doesn't matter if I scream at my tv, but I'll still do it. I still want to have my input one way or another, even if its not being listened to.

Nothing in the Australian series has really grabbed my attention, nothing like one that I saw on the American version.

If anyone does something like this on Australian's got Talent, I would be impressed. Otherwise I'll just sit and wait.

Be aggressive. Be. Be. Aggressive.

2007-03-01T23:01:00.000+11:00

After its been displayed on my MSN for quite some time now, a lot of people have been asking why its been there. It's not there because of my love for 'Bring It On'. It's not there because I walk around saying it all the time. It's there because someone once said it to me to be inspiration.

I've been thinking about it lately, and I think that in a lot of things that I do, I need to be more aggressive. I need to be forward in my approach of things. No longer will I just sit back and wait for things to come to me, because really, when does that ever happen. I've decided that if I want something so badly, or not even so badly, I will still be straight forward and try to get what I want.

So basically, no more pussy footing around, if I want something, I'm going to get it!

AdamMac

Look Mum, no wires!

2007-02-28T23:04:00.000+11:00

Very excited! I got a wireless router for the house today, so now I can access my internet from any room in the house, and so can my Wii!

Still trying to figure out how Meghan can use it, so she can access it as well... But that can wait till tomorrow.

I've got to run anyway, I have to be at my friends place in like 20 mins :S

AdamMac

You gotta know when to hold them...

2007-02-27T21:11:00.000+11:00

I've been addicted for awhile, but over the last couple of weeks, I think I've become even more addicted. I love poker. Mainly online poker, and on tournaments. I've only really gotten addicted again since my friend has started making me play again. Its fun. I sit there and try and pick what other peoples hands are, trying to work out their game play.

I don't play for a real money. I only play with fake money. Its funny because I usually always go all in and then lose my money. Then, I just refresh it. I know it doesn't seem very practical, but its lots of fun. One of them would only let me refresh 3 times in the hour, so as you can imagine, I don't play that one anymore.

I don't know what it is about it, but I really like it. I haven't played it in real life for a while. Last time I played it I was a tournament at some pub and that was really fun. I was winning heaps, but then I wanted to go home, so I just went all in. When they flipped the cards over, the people on the table couldn't believe I went all in. I think I went all in on a 9 5, so people around me were freaking out. That's one reason why I don't like playing real life, people take it too seriously.

I wanna start playing again with my friends, but I just need my friends to want to play with me as well.

AdamMac

Got Pride?

2007-02-26T11:35:00.000+11:00

I've been watching Queen as Folk season 2 lately, and I just watched an episode where they were discussing the pride march and I got me thinking. The pride march happened this year in St Kilda and I didn't attend. I also didn't attend the big carnival to celebrate the ending of Midsumma. As a matter of fact I didn't really do anything for Midsumma, this year or any previous year.

Mardi Gra is also coming up this weekend, another event that I'm not going too. I had someone say to me that I don't participate in enough gay events. Apparently I need to be in more active in things to show my pride. I think that this is just crap. I don't have to walk around wearing a rainbow coloured vest to show that I'm proud of being a gay guy.

I wanna be able to show how proud I am sometimes, but its just hard. For example, walking around on a date with a guy, and watching all the other people on their dates holding hands, made me wanna do it. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to walk around the city, hand in hand. I didn't want to have to put up with people staring and making snide comments.

After that night I was really annoyed. Not because I didn't do it, I just felt like I couldn't do it. I was jealous of all the other couples walking around showing their feelings for one another, and there I was too frightened to do anything.

I may not march in parades or wear rainbow tops, but I've got pride, I just don't want a good night to be ruined by other people's homophobia.

AdamMac

A test of willpower

2007-02-25T20:44:00.000+11:00

I tested my willpower this morning. I tested to see how far I could push it, and well I failed. My attempt at self restraint was pushed to the limit and that limit was tested with a lamp. After walking through the whole of IKEA for the first time, I had got only what I told myself I would get. I was walking confidently towards the checkout with only the things that I needed when I saw the thing that would push me over my limit.

It was a simple green lamp. I already own a lamp. As a matter of fact, I own two. One is boring and crappy, but its been good to me over the last couple of years. The other is a lava lamp. Now the lava lamp hasn't worked for a long time, but it still takes pride of place on one of my bedside tables. But for some reason, I couldn't walk out of the shop without it. I didn't know why, but for some reason, I just needed it.

I'm very happy with the whole selections that I made at IKEA. My bedroom looks quite snazzy if I don't say so myself. I did spend the majority of my afternoon organising it, but now I feel better about the whole room. It looks so much better that what I thought it would.

Now, I just have to plan my next trip to IKEA. After walking through the show room, I kept seeing more and more things that I like. Only thing is, I need to have someone else with me, I don't wanna walk out with another lamp.

AdamMac

Softball, it's a rough sport!

2007-02-24T23:09:00.000+11:00

**Warning: The following post contains pictures of blood!**

I'm sick of people constantly commenting on how much of a girly sport softball is. It's not that girly, it can get quite rough sometimes. Now I realise why it could be portrayed as a girly sport, seeing that it was set up as an indoor version as baseball, but when you play in a game of men's softball it can get quite rough and competitive. The list of injuries that people can get from softball are quite long. Someone in the team a couple of years ago, snapped his foot as he slid into a base. Well what happened is that he snapped the bones that connect his foot and leg, and the only thing that was hanging it together was his skin and some ligaments.

Today I had my first injury of 2007. It wasn't much, just a grazed knee, but it looks pretty impressive if I don't say so myself. Always been a big fun and the whole blood and guts thing. I didn't even realise that it was bleeding until I had been sitting on the bench for a couple of minutes and looked down at the patch in my knee of my softball pants. I noticed a bit of blood trickling out, so I thought I'd better check to see if it was okay, and well I'm pretty sure you can tell by the picture what I found. I pretty much went home to mum and got her to help me clean out the dirt in it, and to put special cream and stuff on it.

But its not all that bad. Keeley felt good that she was able to recognise my pain because she had just recently hurt her thumb. You can just see the mark on her thumb in that picture. So it was comforting to know that there were other people in my situation in the house.

Well I was thinking of doing something tonight, but seeing that I have to keep my knee uncovered, I don't think it would be appropriate to turn up to a club with a scabby knee. Not pretty at all.

AdamMac

Train Legs

2007-02-23T12:16:00.000+11:00

I took the train for the first time in about 18 months. I was like a born again train virgin. I remembered to buy the ticket and validate it, seeing that I have still been using public transport in St Kilda (trams), but little things I had forgotten about.

I couldn't remember the order of stations. This pretty much devastated me, seeing that I used to be able to say the order in my sleep. After a couple of years of catching the train into the city, on a daily basis its something you just learn. But I've forgotten it. It was quite sad!

Also, I forgot how packed they could be and how rude some people are. Why can't people just let other people off before they start barging their way in? Its just common courtesy.

I've also lost complete balance when I was on the train. I felt so sorry for the poor school girl that I kept bumping into every time the train jolted. I did apologise heaps though, lets just hope that her feet don't bruise*. I felt so awkward being thrown from side to side. I looked like an idiot.

Well fingers crossed when I go home tonight I should be better. What am I saying, I'll be drunk... So for those wanting some entertainment on the way home, you can catch me drunken and disorderly on a train out to Werribee!

*This is why you shouldn't wear open toed shoes on a train!

New AdamMac, again!

2007-02-22T15:35:00.000+11:00

Well, after being sick to death about the way I've been looking for a while now, I've taken some changes. Now this happens maybe once a year. This year, it started this morning. I went and got my hair cut and coloured. Well not an all over colour, but one that just highlights :P

I haven't had my hair cut for ages, so I decided to go get it cut, and also to try some colour in it as well. Its got two different colours running through it now, blonde and caramel. Its also cut shorter so I'll probably spend tonight running through how to style it in front of the mirror.

I also got myself two new tongue piercings, seeing that I was annoyed of only having the two, yin-yang and plain-and-boring. So now I have one which is black with a white star and another one with flames. Who knows, maybe one day I'll have enough to co-ordinate them with what I'm wearing!

Also going to start going to the solarium, which I know I have been talking about for ages, but I'm actually going to do it. So that should be exciting, no more being white, or orange. Damn fake tan. Yes, I did try it. Yes, I'm still suffering the consequences. Please don't ask any more questions, I thought it was a bronzer :S

Below is a photo of my lovely back of my head. I was hesitating about posting this on here, seeing that it makes my ears look HUGE! Believe me, they aren't really that big :S

That photo also looks like a have a block shaped head as well... Hmmm, I wonder how I can change that :P Maybe not let Jasmine take any more photos!

AdamMac

Addictions. Confessions. Withdrawals.

2007-02-21T10:37:00.000+11:00

Very rarely do I get addicted to things. Lately, one thing has got me hooked. Heroes. I'm in love with it. To the point where I spent most of yesterday waiting for it to be uploaded so that I could watch episode 16. I love every aspect of it. I love how everything is slowly coming together. I love the twists and the turns of the story line. I love how the answer to one question, sets off another couple of questions. Its just brilliant. But yeah, this is my sad pathetic television addiction for 2007!

Today marks the first day of Lent. I was a baptized so I feel I should give up something for 40 days. Kelly, Danni, Liz and myself at work were thinking of what we can give up, and we decided to give up the following:

Chocolate
Anything from the work vending machines
Fast food, from any company that has a business that operates a drive thru, we aren't allowed to buy food from any of their franchises.

So I'm pretty much screwed. We have this calendar set up at work, so I'll see how I'll go. Day 1 starts today.

It's been two weeks since the last time I went out on the scene. I'm pretty impressed with that, seeing that I missed the big 'Pink Party' @ Diva. Now that's what I call determination. Knowing me though, I'll probably end up there this weekend, its the only place I can see certain friends.

The reason for my lack of updates on here is because I'm re-writing my anonymous blogs. Otherwise known as my confessions. As soon as I'm happy with the first couple of posts, I'll post the link on here. No longer am I going to be hiding this stuff, but telling the whole world, I don't really give a fuck anymore.

Another thing that has me angry at the moment is people. Not all people, just some people. I'm sick to death of people who are vague and can't answer simple questions. Majority of the time its a simple yes or no answer, so why can't people just answer simple questions. That way I'd be able to know whats going on, and not be left wondering. Also, don't make up bullshit excuses, it doesn't help the situation. Sorry for the mini outbreak, but I just found out some stuff this morning that has pissed me off!

AdamMac

Retro Pop Art

2007-02-10T19:11:00.000+11:00

That's the name of the decor in our new place. Well that's what Meghan calls it. Been a week now, and I've been quite lazy, still haven't moved everything yet. Hopefully one more car load and I should be set. All the big things have been moved so that's good.

Quick rundown of whats been going on in the last two weeks:

Credit card back, and they are waiving all the charges.
The move has happened, or should I say still happening.
Softball is still going strong, except for today when we lost 6-1!
Work is getting no so busy, and still having fun, so that's good!
Car not fixed yet, another thing I need to get down.

So yeah, not much of a blog post, but can't be bothered!

Keys, Bonds, Credit Cards, Open for Inspections, Work....

2007-02-02T14:45:00.000+11:00

AAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I have the keys. Which means its getting closer to happening. There was an open for inspection at my St Kilda place yesterday, and about 8 groups of strange people walked through my house. Don't worry, nothing was taken. Well nothing that I've noticed. It felt weird, as I walked away from my apartment, and the real estate agent showed people through. They got an application so that's a good sign. I obviously it was my placement of furniture that did it.

Work has been full on in this last month, so yesterday and today have been great. Not having to worry about taking calls, the amount of calls I have to get done for quality and other things has been a great stress-free break. I'm really needing that holiday later this year.

Speaking of the holiday, I've started looking at things that I want to do, at the moment I'm tossing up between Europe or the US. Apparently the US is too much like here, and if I wanna go someone, I need to go somewhere that doesn't feel like I'm still at home. So at the moment, I'm still thinking about what to do. I'm also tossing up who I go with, in terms of travel companies. Contiki is winning at the moment, mainly because I've heard so much of Jo's trip and I want the same sort of thing, but STA travel has given me some ideas in terms of going to both and maybe back packing or something. I have no idea. All I know is I don't care where I go, so long as I do!

I have the keys to the new place. Dad is coming around tomorrow morning and we are going to move everything. Got to love a dad with a trailer. I don't have that much stuff to move, its mainly little things, which I'm planning to move in my 100 trips between the two places. Also looking forward to just having everything moved and sleeping for a whole weekend. Its kinda sad really, I'm starting to miss the city already. Mainly because I've only really just started going out more around here, and catching up with mates at St Kilda Beach, which I probably won't be able to do for a little.

Just think of all the money I'll be saving. I keep telling myself that all the time now, mainly so that I can justify moving away from the city. I know that its up and down for the last twelve months, with probably more downs then ups, but there is just something about being so close to everything that I'm going to miss.

I got a phone call from my credit card company this morning. They went through all this legal stuff with me, told me what was stolen and they were kinda scared at how I got robbed. They hadn't heard of that many cases where only the credit card was taken and nothing else. I think they've done it so I wouldn't notice and cancel the card on them. Here I was thinking they were smart, but clearly I was wrong. Who steals a credit card and then buys cartons of cigarettes and booze!?! But everything is getting wiped and I should have my card back in the next couple of days. WooHoo!

Well I should continue packing, seeing that if I don't my mum will kill me. That's the reason she texted me at 7 o'clock this morning, and when I thanked her for waking me up, she said she only did it so that I could have more time packing. So thanks mum. I love ya.

Anyway, with the whole moving thing, may not be online for a couple of weeks, so all those that speak to me on MSN, I won't be there for a little while. But I will be back.

StressMac

Stiff Competition

2007-01-25T09:48:00.000+11:00

I very rarely get telemarketers call me. I suppose this would be a good thing for most people, I actually love getting them. Well, only when they call to try and make me change to their company for my home phone needs. Seeing that I work in customer service for home phones, the likelihood of me actually changing providers is very slim, but I like to listen to see what they have to offer, and then ask them questions.

I like to sound keen, like to give them that slim glimmer of hope that I might change to their company. By doing this, it makes the end of the call more satisfying. I'll explain.

I listen to them tell me everything, which usually takes a good five minutes, then when they ask if I have any questions, that's why I really start playing with them. My favourite question, 'I've got family visiting Diego Garcia*, and I need to call them everyday, so I need good rates to that country.' I feel a sense of accomplishment when I have to repeat myself because they need to write down Diego Garcia because they have never heard of it. I'm then put on hold by the representative, who has gone on a hunt trying to find the best rate to this country thinking that if they come back with something good they may have made a sale. Now the conversation goes either two ways. One, the representative discovers that majority of calls to this country are barred**, or two, they have found some really expensive rates and feel bad telling me them so they try and win me over with something else.

Seeing that they took forever to find the rates, I then tell them that they've wasted so much of my time today, and I'd be ridiculous to go to their company, tell them to have a nice day and then hang up the phone.

That's the approach that I like to take. I don't get aggressive, I just make them feel bad for wasting my time, when it was actually me wasting theirs. For the first time yesterday I wasn't able to use this, mainly because the rep was a bitch.

She called me yesterday morning, saying she was from so-and-so company, and proceeded to bad mouth my company. This was before she even knew I worked for them. So I let her continue, letting her ride her high horse for a little bit longer until the perfect moment came to knock her down. She told me a blatant lie, to try and bring me across. Basically, she said that there are no contract breakage fees for going to that company. BULLSHIT! I then told her I was on a 12 month agreement with my current company and she said that didn't matter. To which I told her that I actually worked for that company, and it does matter. Her response. 'Well that's what we were told in training, so I'm right!'.

I knew I had two options at that point, politely hang up or correct the cow. I'm sure you can guess which one I choose...

'I'm sorry to tell you this, but your training is wrong. Your the reason why I have customers calling me at my work, because you have promised this exact same thing and obviously can't deliver. Your the reason why I have people screaming at me through the phone, and then having them come back to our company because your telling them lies. If I was you, I would consider not telling people that and getting someone to re look at your training. I hope you have a nice day.'

At that, I hung up the phone.

BitchMac

*For those that don't know, Diego Garcia is an atoll located in the heart of the Indian Ocean.
** This is because of a thing called Internet dumping, where you can only really call this country by paying premium rates.

There is a god...

2007-01-23T08:42:00.000+11:00

... and she hates me!

Last night while jogging, yes I did say jogging, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had gone for a jog, actually eaten dinner, and things were kinda going okay.

When I got back to my car, I noticed that the keyhole on my passenger side door was broken, so I looked inside and saw that my CD player was still there, so I assumed that somebody had tried to break in and couldn't.

Until. I get a phone call from my credit card company this morning, wanting to confirm some suspicious transactions that happened last night. $1000 worth of transactions to be precise. Ranging from Coles supermarkets to Safeway liquor stores to a petrol station where it was finally declined. I told the guy on the other end of the phone, that I didn't make any, and he asked if I had my card. So I put the phone down, went to my wallet and alas, no card!

FUCK! That was the first thing that came into my head. Hang on, it was the first, second, third, fourth, etc thing that came in my head. I now have to go to the police station, fill out a report, and then do further investigations with my card company. And because they pushed me over my limit, I don't get my card back for a while! Woo Fucking Hoo!

So a message to those lovely fuckheads who broke into my car:

I HOPE YOU DIE! I HOPE YOU BOUGHT THE ALCOHOL AND NOW HAVE ALCOHOL POISONING AND ARE LYING ON YOUR DEATHBED'S IN A HOSPITAL!

Just when I thought everything was finally beginning to go good!

AngryMac

The Munk!

2007-01-21T14:58:00.000+11:00

I'd thought my chipmunks had died. I thought they were dead. Over the last couple of days, I've been border lining on tears due to their lack of existence. But alas, they are working again. I didn't realise that I needed to plug my speakers in for them to work.

A couple of weeks ago, I discovered an option on my media player to speed up songs, so they sound like chipmunks, and being the bored drunk at home, I think I have sped up almost every song in my library*. There are some songs that work well being munk'd, and others that are really, really bad.

After a far bit of experimenting, I've found out some tips for people who are munking for the first time. These are:

Majority of songs with more than 2 female vocals singing together, don't really work well together. Mainly because their voices are already high enough, and when you speed it up, you really can't hear the song over all the dogs in your neighborhood barking!
Any sort of male ballad works well, for example, Shannol Noll - What about me.
Any sort of remix'd version of a song, usually doesn't work well. All you get to hear is a loud thumping through the song and its really really fast, so unless your a real quick dancer, then don't try it.
Any song with a loud male screaming is funny at first, but windows break quite easily...
Eminem sounds funny after he sounds like his been sucking on helium balloons!

If you can't be bothered experimenting and wanna just hear goods ones, I recommend these:

What about me - Shannol Noll
Tribute - Tenacious D
I don't feel like dancing - Scissor Sisters
I put a spell on you - Bette Midler
Love Shack - B'52s
A Public Affair - Jessica Simpson

I'll also take this opportunity to thank my neighbours for probably having to put up with the noise I'm creating from finding a good one and screaming, and then dancing around my lounge room singing in my best chipmunk voice**.

Munk'dMac

*Maybe not ever song, I don't have that much free time
** I was drunk at the time, so its okay, I think!

The Countdown

2007-01-21T14:51:00.000+11:00

Its getting closer. I'm moving! We got the place in Atlona, and I am stoked!! Haven't been happy about something in a while. I'm looking forward to living in a nice place, with the adorable Meghan B. But there are some things I'm going to miss.

Obviously living by myself I've had heaps of privacy, and the place where I'm living at the moment is ridiculously close to everything. Fifteen minute tram ride to work, walking distance to Commercial Road, and easy driving distance to Chaddy/Southland. They are probably going to be the main things I'm going to miss.

I'm not going to miss my crazy old neighbours, having such a tiny apartment where at times I feel like I can't breathe, the embarrassment of having people over because this place is too small, my current real estate agent, crazy reverse parallel parking spot, noisy traffic, and the list goes on...

I'm hoping to end this week in a big note, so this Saturday I wanna do something big, but I wanna stay away from Commercial Road, need a bit of a break from there. So if anyone has any ideas on what I can do, let me know!

MovingMac

My fly..

2007-01-13T19:01:00.000+11:00

I was lying on the floor at work today, during my first break. I think I was trying to sober up, note to self try to get at least four hours sleep before work if I've had a massive night, and Tamara saw me lying there and told me that my fly was starting to come undone. I looked down and she was right, it was indeed. Now this usually happens to me quite often, my fly starts to just go down, but not down that much, she could only see it because my shirt had lifted up when I lied down.

I told her that it wasn't coming undone, but it was always like this. The response I got from her was weird. She asked why I didn't lock it when I pulled the zip up. I think that she guessed from my puzzled look on my face that I had no idea what this lock was, and no idea where it was for that matter. So she learned across and zipped up my fly*, and made it so the tag thing on the zip was facing down. After doing this, she announced that she had now locked it and had a smile on her face that just screamed triumph.

After a couple of minutes of then studying my fly to see what she had done that was so different to what I usually did, and her wetting herself in laughter, I asked her what was so different. Apparently, whenever I do up my fly I don't put the little tag thing down, so it doesn't lock it. There is some weird latch thing, that then stops the fly from going down. To be honest, I was shocked. Never did I think that there was such a thing. Even after a good 10 years of jean wearing behind me, and 2 years of working in a clothing manufacturing company, I had no idea this thing existed.

Of course in my excitement, I had to go tell everybody, which is something I do with a lot of things that I learn at work. So the last ten minutes of my break was pretty much wasted on telling people about my fly. And now I've wasted another 5 typing up this post.

If only I had of known this beforehand. I wouldn't have had those embarrassing moments on my 21st, when my fly started to come down. Although, I still find it funny, being on stage having 'Happy Birthday' sung to me and I was too busy facing the wall, doing up my fly....

*By the way, this is probably the closest anyone has come to my fly in a long time... How depressing.

From the city to the 'burbs!

2007-01-13T12:00:00.000+11:00

I'm moving. After my year long stint in the city. I'm going to go live in Altona *fingers crossed*

After a gruelling day of househunting on Thursday, with dodgy places and dodgy real estates, the last place we saw was like a shining beacon of hope. Its near new, and HOT! Both me and Meghan B. fell in love with it when we first saw it.

So applications are being submitted, so fingers crossed we get it.

I was going to go through all the funny things that happened on Thursday, but can't be bothered, so I figured I would just put them in dot points:

Being told by a real estate agent, that the place was 'walking distance'. Clearly some people have different ideas on walking distance. I don't think 20 mins, and over a bridge in hot weather in walking distance, when your wearing jeans, shirt and leather shoes.
Old Spanish ladies trying to promote a hole. Asking Meghan and pointing at me saying 'Boyfriend". I think that its getting a tiring people asking that, and we are running out of ideas to say in return. I'm thinking maybe we could go with the divorced option, or say we are family, twins, married. Lots of options. But just don't ask us when we are drunk, Megsy usually turns around and says, 'Nah, hes a fag!'. Ah! Good memories of Christmas Eve.
Seeing a place that looked like a tip and running away before the appointment, I know shame on us, but we clearly didn't look like people who were going to live in Laverton, no offence to people in Laverton but come on!?!
Playing 'I-Spy' but with a lack of inspiration and saying things like car, grass and tree!
Having Meghan know more than the real estate agents, because she is uber organised, and when they would ask her about a property, she would reply, 'No thank you, the tenants aren't leaving till the 29th and we want to see it today!'.
Having the real estate tell me that the walk to the train station was only 10 minutes away, so it would be fine unless you was wearing heels. Now, for some reason that was directed at me, seeing I was the only one in the room. First of all, do I look like the type of person who would wear heels?? And second of all, if I did wear heels, I don't think I'd be going on public transport, Eve would be better than that!

So yeah, funny stuff... I'll post again tonight, seeing that I haven't done some for a while! So you getting a lot!

The One!

2007-01-13T11:56:00.000+11:00

Could I have finally found the one???

The New Year

2007-01-07T18:13:00.000+11:00

We are a week into the new year, and well if it keeps going this way, I wanna skip this year already.

During a convo I had with Jo just after New Years, we were saying that however your New Years Eve is spent, is a sign for the year to come. If thats the case, my year is going to be full of working my arse off, and not spending it with friends. So in other words, I'm going to be a loner again this year. I was working at the bar I frequent, wearing a black singlet, silver mask (which I've come to love) and a silver top hat. Lots of fun was had, I was flat out as we were really busy.

I have no news year resolutions this year. Whats the point? We never complete them, and it just sets us up for disappointment in 12 months, so why bother, I'm sure there are many things that are gonna cause that, let alone myself.

2006 was a pretty big year for me. I moved out by myself into St Kilda. I became a hell of a lot more independant. I turned 21. I lost friends. I gained friends. I had a relationship. I got more responsibilities at work. Had my first family member pass away. Got fucked around by guys. Tried to keep a diary. Drank a fair bit of alcohol. Put too much trust in people. Went out of my way to try and keep a friendship, which I don't know helped. Got a new phone. Met new people. Been in debt.

Well lets hope 2007 is better. But as said above, if the last week is any sign.... :(

The first year in review

2006-12-27T16:26:00.000+11:00

Ok, I'll be doing a couple of these... This is the first one. It's the first sentence from the first post of each month!

January: New Year's was massive in the land of Adam Mac...

February: OMG!! There is so many movies to see at the cinemas lately, that I can't keep up!!

March: So I'm a bitch!

April: On Sunday, it was so good...

May: Ok, If you've just jumped on and seen this post, then you may have noticed a slight change in C Grade Personality.

June: Well not that busy, but I'm sure you've gotten the idea...

July: In case you may or may not have noticed, AdamMac has kinda disappeared, what from MSN, blogger and other Internet commitments I have...

August: Ok, I didn't want to do it, I was trying to fight the urges and the temptations, but couldn't resist, I've done it...

September: Well my tongue has anyway!!

October: Yesterday I was having a day with the girls.

November: I hate doing grocery shopping.

December: I have no motivation...

NEW BLOG!

2006-12-23T22:18:00.000+11:00

Ok, I've started another one. Inspired by 'St Kilda Today', see sidebar, I've started something similar. Its going to basically be one photo that I take everyday, and I'll put it on my MySpace blog.

First photo is, well you can just go and see it yourself...

http://blog.myspace.com/adamjmac

By the way, I'm not going to stop blogging here, I'm still going to be doing that...

Looking old

2006-12-20T14:27:00.001+11:00

And now it peels...

I look like my forehead is made out of marble. Hopefully it doesn't look like this when I go to Xchange, otherwise those nice lights will pick up the cracks in my face :P

Leading the way!

2006-12-18T07:36:00.000+11:00

Don't forget to slip slop slap....

For the last two days, I feel like I should be leading santa's sleigh....

My neck is constantly burning...

Oh, the pain!

Emotional Investment

2006-12-11T06:58:00.000+11:00

I love my blog. I put quite a lot of effort into it. One thing I've noticed though is that I don't put a lot of emotion into my posts. They tend to be about something I've done, and then I've tried to make it funny. Very rarely have I actually done a post about my feelings, with what my thoughts are at the time. This is what I think a blog should have. I've always seen my blog as my little on-line venting room. Somewhere I can just log in to, and just type away. For some reason though, I don't think that I can do that.

The main reason why I think I don't do this is because I know people are reading it, and I don't want to tell people everything about me. Some people, who I didn't even know read it, come up and talk to me about posts that I've done. After they've gone, I then think to myself, lucky I didn't post that then, imagine what they would have thought.

I know I shouldn't think this, seeing that its my blog, and the point of it is to capture my feelings. I know I should let out my emotions somewhere, I know its not good to bottle them up inside. I don't want to discuss them with someone, seeing that I don't trust a lot of people*. I've been told too many times to go and see somebody, so that I could talk to them. I don't really think that that would help, seeing that if I can't tell my best friends, how am I going to tell a complete stranger, who is going to analyse everything I say?!?

As much as I love the privacy and the freedom, I think that living by myself is causing me to think too much. I tend to spend majority of my time just sitting and thinking, which can never be good for anyone. It makes me analyze everything I do, and it makes me break down everything I do into tiny pieces to see how they all affected what happened.

I've tried keeping a diary, to use as an outlet. That didn't work. Whenever I read over it, I would look at my handwriting and just feel disgusted in myself. My handwriting used to be great. Now, its just scribble. Constantly using computers, has made me lazy when I write. I still remember when I was at highschool, and our primary school teachers visited us for an orientation day for the next years students. My Grade Six teacher saw what I was writing, and she asked why I was writing like that. She said that my handwriting was a disgrace compared to what it used to be. I actually went back and found an old workbork from Grade Six, and she was right.

I tend to remember negative comments that people make about me. I hate receiving compliments. I don't know if its because I rarely give them, or because if I receive them I pick out the faults in them and have to disprove them. Its weird, but its one thing I can't do.

One thing I'm going to try and do is type some more deep and meaningful stuff here. Mainly with the stuff that is flying through my head at the moment. Expect it in the next couple of days. Lets see if this works...

*That wasn't meant to sound that bad, in general there are very few people that I completely trust. I don't open up to people. Its that simple. We may be best friends, but still there may be things that you don't know about me.